Go Back   Planet MADtv > Our Database > MADtv Repository > MADtv Transcripts
Register Members List Mark Forums Read


Thread Tools
Old 08/13/2008, 1:56 PM
Planned Disaster Male Planned Disaster is offline
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 549
Default Grey's Anatomy with House M.D (#1214)

Someone requested this one, so I'll do it


Michael McDonald- Hugh Laurie (Dr. Gregory House)
Nicole Parker- Kate Walsh (Dr. Addison Montgomery)
Arden Myrin- Katherine Heigl (Dr. Isobel "Izzie" Stevens)
Bobby Lee- Sandra Oh (Dr. Cristina Yang)
Crista Flanagan- Ellen Pompeo (Dr. Meredith Grey)
Nicole Randall Johnson- Chandra Wilson (Dr. Miranda Bailey)
Keegan Michael Key- Isaiah Washington (Dr. Preston Burke)
Extra (but I still think its Frank)- T.R Knight (George O'Malley)

I will use each characters lasts names as their roles in the script, anything in italized and in brackets is action and is not spoken

(Grey's Antamoy logo is shown, cuts to a room with Montgomery, Stevens and Bailey with a patient whose foaming at the mouth)

Montgomery: Your fiance's been dead for three days, you should get back into the dating scene

Stevens: I don't need dating tips from someone who thinks it's OK to cheat on McDreamy with McSteamy

Montgomery: Cheating on McDreamy with McSteamy is OK because I was moving up the McGeemy ladder, it starts with McQueeny then McSweeny followed my McDreamy then McSteamy, the brass ring is McSupremey, who, rumor has it, is French and lives in a castle

(Yang enters)

Yang: Is there an operation going on here, can I help, please, please, I beg of you, I'm the best right, right

(Grey enters and knocks Yang over)

Grey: Are you guys talking about relationships, please, please, let me talk about mine, please, I beg of you

(O'Malley enters and knocks Grey over)

O'Malley: Are you guys in the middle of an interesting story line, please let me be in it, my character slept with a bone doctor

(Bailey enters and knocks O'Malley over)

Bailey: What the heck are all my interns doin in here, will you stop talking about yourselves and start helping people and why am I in here, my husband has a brain tumor and I just had a baby and why am I talking so loud

Montgomery: Oh my god, it's a patient, I've been so focused on relationships that I've forgotten how to practice medicine. We're gonna have to call in a specialist

Yang: Who

Montgomery: I know, McMeany

(House logo appears, House walks out of elevator and into hospital room, knocking Bailey over)

House: Can anyone here write a Vicadin perscription for the most confident, well adjusted, drug addicted doctor in the world

Montgomery: Dr House, we have a woman here and we don't know what's wrong with her

House: There's nothing I can do for that woman (points cane at Yang)

Yang: No, not me, the woman on the bed

House: She's pregnant, the baby comes out that hole, goodbye

(House and Montgomery are in hallway)

Montgomery: House, you just can't leave that woman

House: Listen nurse

Montgomery: I'm a doctor

House: You're not a doctor, you're a whore

Montgomery: Sheesh, that wasn't witty at all, that was just flat out mean

House: Sorry, when your wise crack all day, some of them are bound to get awat from you

Montgomery: (pushes House against the wall) Listen to me House, I'm the only doctor in this hospital who has slept with both McDreamy and McSteamy, so I know my way around this place, and there is more going on with that woman than just being pregnant

House: (pushes Montgomery against the wall) You've been with both McDreamy and McSteamy, I'm just tying to picture you in betweeny

Montgomery: (pushes House against the wall) Look, you better go in there and save her, you disgusting pig, and I have to say "disgusting pig" because Grey's Anatomy's a show written for women by women

House: (pushes Montgomery against the wall) I'm trying to tell you, I don't know what's wrong with your patient, but I do I've got a huge erection and I have to say that because House is written by men for women who like abusive men (lets go of Montgomery and gropes her breasts) Looks like someone just grazed your anatomy

Montgomery: Wait, when you go like that, I mean you know, it's not

(cut back to hospital room with both House and Montgomery there, House writes something on the wall)

House: Alright, the patient has an excess of saliva, any thoughts

Grey: Yes, I think I'm going to take it slow with McDreamy

Montgomery: You should because you don't want to lose McDreamy, I did by sleeping with McSteamy

Stevans: McSteamy's a jerk, not like my fiance who's a great man, before I killed him

O'Malley: That was an intersting story line, my character sleeps with women and then they cry

Burke: (enters) Maybe it's because your a homo

Grey: Hey, don't call him a Homo

Burke: I didn't call him a homo

O'Malley: Yes you did, it's the third time you've called me a homo, twice on set and once at the Golden Globes

Burke: Not true, see you later, homo

(Burke runs out)

Yang: While you guys were talking, I took out the patient's lung, I'm the best, right

House: Well you're the best at ruining a pefectly good erection...wait a minute...excess saliva, removeable lung, pregnant, this woman has classsic Vinyetta Syndrome, the only way to save the baby is to smother the mother with a pillow

Bailey: You can't do that

House: Just watch me, you mushroomed-haired-hobbit (walks over to patient) Lack of oxygen will build pressure in the mother's vagina and the kid should shoot right out, you, Baby-Voice, get your catchers mit ready (Grey pulls out a catchers mit) One, two, three, smother (smothers patient, baby pops out into catchers mit) Excellent, now, recesatate the mother

Stevens: We can't, she's dead

House: Hmm, would've worked on my show

Montgomery: I know a show that can save her

(ER logo pops up)



Last edited by Planned Disaster; 08/14/2008 at 11:03 AM. Reason: O'Malley;s name
Reply With Quote

Old 08/13/2008, 1:57 PM
Planned Disaster Male Planned Disaster is offline
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 549
So if anybody knows the role Frank Caeti played, they can post it right here

Reply With Quote
Old 08/13/2008, 2:53 PM
Dartanian's Avatar
Dartanian Male Dartanian is offline
Darth Tater
Staff Alumnus
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Auckland
Posts: 4,606
That wasn't Frank Caeti, it was an extra, but the character was George O'Malley. He's played by the actor T.R Knight.

What happened to Andrae?
Reply With Quote
Old 08/14/2008, 7:45 AM
Nicollins's Avatar
Nicollins Female Nicollins is offline
Fresh Meat
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 10
Thank you very much!!!
Reply With Quote
Old 08/14/2008, 11:05 AM
Planned Disaster Male Planned Disaster is offline
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 549
Originally Posted by Dartanian View Post
That wasn't Frank Caeti, it was an extra, but the character was George O'Malley. He's played by the actor T.R Knight.
Thanks, it's now edited, but for some reason I still think it's Frank, I guess I'll rewatch it later

Reply With Quote

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
[MADtv] Music Video: Aren't Asians Great? (#1214) AngelasBraces MADtv Transcripts 2 03/02/2007 7:25 PM
House MD i_love_frank TV Shows 11 11/26/2006 11:08 PM
Grey's Anatomy Dartanian TV Shows 12 11/22/2006 12:58 AM
House of Wax Pizzotty Movies 14 05/29/2005 10:54 AM
[MADtv] Ike's House Mxz General Discussion 16 02/08/2005 10:04 PM

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 5:29 AM.