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  #1  
Old 07/10/2008, 10:18 PM
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tvmanismadformad Male tvmanismadformad is offline
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Default Depressed Persian Tow Truck Man: Hillary Clinton (#1312)

Hillary Clinton: Nicole Parker

Mofaz: Michael McDonald

Barak Obama: Keegan-Michael Key

Only Hillary in the tow truck is scene

Hillary: What does it take to get nominated in this country? I'm exhausted, I have no money, and to top it all off my car broke down. And the press has been vicious, one fashion magazine even pointed out my camel toe.

Shows all of truck front

Mofaz: Ohh please. You don't know from camel toe. My wife not only has camel toe, she has camel hoofs, a camel face, two humps on her back, and she can spit 40 feet, always.

Theme song starts playing

Singers (not seen): If you are blue, if you are sad, if your depressed, upset, or unbelievably mad, you'll get a big lift when you’re talking with text appears over screen with a tow truck, and a car hooked to the back going though at the bottom the Depressed Persian Tow Truck Man, who just picked up Hillary Clinton and, come on, this has to be the lowest point of her career, sitting in a tow truck next to a hairy Persian man who's odour is a combination of Turkish tobacco, lamb stew, and Ralph Lauren's Chaps cologne. Text disappears

Hillary: Well at least I hope you voted for me in the primaries

Mofaz: Truth be told, I voted for Barak Obama, because his middle name is Hussane, which is my middle name, well one of them. My full name is Mofaz Iddi Amine Popot Stalin Bin laden Manson Johnson Always.

Hillary: Your last name is always?

Mofaz: With wings.

Hillary: Like the sanitary pad?

Mofaz: No I am making a joke, come on lady lighten up, where are the giggles in you, nowhere to be found, never always.

Hillary: Well, the real tragedy is that the Democrats are going to lose again. McCain's going to beat us. He's a Vietnam vet, who survived living in a tiger cage.

Mofaz: If that is all you need to do, then I should run for president. I was raised in a racoon cage.

Hillary: Well that's horrible, how could your parents do that to you?

Mofaz: They are racoons! Why do you think I have the black circles under my eyes? It's not from being tired, it is genetic. To this day I eat all my meals out of my neighbour’s trash can, but first I always wash my hands like this rubs his hands like a racoon would. Always.

Hillary: It's just like being on the campaign trail. Lousy food, no sleep. I've been wearing the same pant suit since January. A matter a fact I think I'll open it up just to air it out a little.

Opens up shirt and breathe a sigh of relief as moths and dust start flying out of the shirt

Mofaz: WHAT, WHAT, WHAT IS THAT, OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT OHHHHHH! GET OUT OF MY HAIR, GET OUT OF MY HAIR! CLOSE IT UP, CLOSE IT UP LADY, CLOSE IT UP! OH MY GOD! SINCE JANUARY OF WHAT YEAR!? GOOD GOD!

Hillary: Well, I remember I was happy so it's been a while.

Mofaz: Uh, that was like that scene from the Raiders of the Lost Ark when they opened up the ark of the covident and then all of the things fly out, I felt like my face was going to melt.

Hillary: I've had that feeling before.

Mofaz sighs

Hillary: You know the only thing I have learned from this Mofaz?

Mofaz: What is it mama tell me?

Hillary: A woman is lower than a black man on the social totem pole

Mofaz: Do you know what group of people is in the totem pole that's buried underneath the ground?

Hillary: The Persians?

Mofaz: No the Mexicans.

Hillary: Well, were here at my headquarters.

Mofaz: Motel 6!? Ohh mom, you have really fallen on hard times. I tell you what. I'm feeling generous. What's say you and I go into your hotel room and eh halaaaaaaaa

Hilary laughs

Hillary: That's a very tempting offer considering the fact that I haven't had sex with my husband since 2001.

Mofaz: Well, I haven't had sex with my wife since she "weighed" 2001. What do you say cookie, come on, come on, what have you got to lose, come on.

Hillary: Well I guess I've been so abused on this campaign already, how could it hurt?

Mofaz: That's right, that's the right thinking huh?

Hillary: Well, I'll see you in 5 minutes, ok.

Mofaz: Ok cookie.

A Theme song starts playing

Singers: You don't feel blue, you don't feel sad, you don't feel upset, or even slightly mad, because ya had a chat, with an even sadder cat, text appears with a tow truck with a car hooked to the back of it goes by the bottom of the screen the Depressed Persian Tow Truck Man, who's going to score with Hillary Clinton and if you felt sorry for her when she cried your really going to feel sorry for her after she has sex with Mofaz who along with a corkscrew penis also sports so much pubic hair that his nickname in high school was "the Persian Rug".

Barak Obama gets into the passenger seat

Barak: Alright, so is everything set?

Mofaz: It's all set Barak. All the camera's are in the hotel room, when America finds out that Mrs. Hillary Clinton is having sex with a Persian man, she won't be elected dog catcher!

Mofaz and Barak both laugh manically

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Old 07/10/2008, 10:20 PM
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Sorry I didn't put any images, it's just hard to find screenshots of MADtv on the internet. If I could get them from my own picture wall on my computer than I wouldn't mind, but I can't, by what I have seen.

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Old 07/11/2008, 12:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tvmanismadformad View Post
Sorry I didn't put any images, it's just hard to find screenshots of MADtv on the internet. If I could get them from my own picture wall on my computer than I wouldn't mind, but I can't, by what I have seen.
If you dont find screencaps you can play the sketch on YouTube, press the "Print Screen" button on your keyboard, paste the screen image to paint and them crop and save the image to fit the size of the image as shown in the video. I know that it sounds time consuming but it's a really good way to get those images.

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Old 11/17/2008, 7:45 PM
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Watch the sketch here.

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