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Old 01/25/2006, 12:54 PM
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Default First to a Million (#103)

Announcer: ???
Peter Marshall: himself
Ben: Artie Lange
Judy: Mary Scheer

Part 1

Announcer: Itís time for First to a Million. Now hereís your host, Peter Marshall.

Peter: Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you and good evening. Welcome to First to a Million. Hi, Ben. Hi, Judy.

Ben: How you doing?

Peter: Are you ready to play the game? The rules are very simple. The first contestant to win a million points wins the game. Okay, here we go.
Todayís categories. The categories are, Impressionist Art, Academy Awards, Presidents, World War II, Ancient Civilizations and Pot Luck.
Okay, Ben, you won the toss backstage. Youíll start. Where are you going?

Ben: Iíll try Presidents, Peter.

Peter: Alrighty. Which president dropped the bomb on Hiroshima?
Ben, youíve got it.

Ben: Harry Truman.

Peter: Thatís it. Harry Truman. Terrific, Ben. Terrific. Youíve got one point!

(One point appears to Benís scoreboard)

Peter: Where to next?

(Ben checks his scoreboard and is kinda lost)

Peter: Ben, where next?

Ben: I guess Iíll stick with Presidents.

Peter: Alrighty. Here we go.
Which president ascended to office when Abraham Lincoln was assassinated? Ben, youíve got it again.

Ben: Andrew Johnson.

Peter: Way to go, Ben. Way to go. Make it 2-to-nothing.

(Ben gets one point to his scoreboard)

Peter: Ben, youíre still in control. Okay, pick a category.

(Both Ben and Judy take a look at the scoreboard)

Peter: Itís 2-to-nothing, Ben.

Ben: Peter, is there a category where the questions are worth more?

Peter: Worth more what?

Ben: You know, worth more than one point.

Peter: So youíre thinking that maybe we have some questions that are worth two points, is that right?

Ben: Yeah.

Peter: (laughs) Thatís cute. No, we donít have any of those.
All right, continue.

Judy: Peter, this is pointless.

Peter: Judy, I know it seems like youíre way behind now, but trust me, dear, youíre still in the game. Itís rare, but Iíve seen people come back from 2-0 deficits before, so donít give up.

Judy: Okay, I wonít give up.

Peter: Stay tuned. Weíll be right back with the lightning round here on First to a million.


Part 2

(Ben and Judy look both really bored. Ben has 10,999 points and Judy 16)

Peter: What is ten times five?

Ben: Fifty.

Peter: Congratulations, Ben. You have just reached 11,000 points.

Ben: He-hey, whoopee! Hey, are we gonna get some dinner?

Peter: Dinner? Of course not.
Now, we need another category. Ben, your turn.

Ben: Why donít we try Ancient Civilizations for one, Peter.

*fade out*

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