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Old 12/20/2005, 11:23 AM
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Default Almost Famous 2: Boy Meets Bizkit (#619)

Voiceover - Andrew Daly
William Miller - Patrick Fugit
Fred Durst - Will Sasso
Wes Borland - Christian Duguay
Waiter- Aries Spears
Girl - Debra Wilson

Voiceover: From the people who brought you Almost Famous…

(William picks up the phone)

William: Hello. Hi, Rolling Stone. Another assignment? Any band I want? Well that’s easy. I wanna go on tour with Limp Bizkit!…Wh-why are you laughing…?

Voiceover: It’s Almost Famous 2: Boy Meets Bizkit.

(Limp Bizkit is leaving the stage after the show and William is waiting in the backstage)

William: Mr. Durst? Hi, can I ask you couple of questions.

(Fred walks by)

William: I’m William Miller from Rolling Stone magazine.

(Fred rushes back)

Fred: Rolling Stone magazine?! Yo, let’s talk!

William: Right now?

Fred: Yeah, man, you got it! Wassup?!

William: Oh, last time I tried to do it took forever.

Fred: Not with me man. If you’re down for spreading the word of Durst, then I’m down tha job!

(Fred tries to do handslaps and he hugs William)

(Cut to inside Limp Bizkit’s backstage room)

Fred: Then I got out of primary school, which was dope! Yo and then I got into junior high, which was super fly dope!

William: Alright, okay… If we could pass forward a few years---

Fred: Yo and then at super fly junior high, yo, that was dope! Because of mrs Johnson’s seven grade English class where I met and started imitating my first real black person, yo, that was cool… Hey, yo, there’s one right now!

(Fred starts walking towards the waiter)

Fred: Yo, wassup! Wassup, my brother, wassup!?! Wassup, yo! Oh, wassup, man! Wassup?!

Waiter: Hello, who you’re doing.

Fred: Yo.

(Fred hits his chest)

Fred: Feel your pain, yo, feel your pain.

Waiter: Alright, that’s nice. Sign for this?

(Fred takes waiter’s pencil and bill, throws them on the floor and starts hugging and slapping him)

Fred: Show me some love, man! Wassup!? Wassup, man!

(Cut to Fred doing some stupid brake dance moves)

Fred: Alright, yoyoyo! Everybody, check this out! William Miller, check this out! Ready?

(Fred “brakes” on some pizza boxes)

(William is on the phone)

William: Hi, Rolling Stone? This is William Miller. Listen, I think I changed my mind. Could I interview Radiohead instead? Oh, how about Moby? Aerosmith? I take anybody, please, I… The Backstreet Boys?

(William is interviewing Limp Bizkit’s guitarist Wes Borland)

William: So, is there a reason you dress like this.

Wes: Fred likes me to dress up in different outfits, kinda like KISS. Only lamer.

William: Why you do it?

Wes: ‘Cause I’m a whore for money.

(Fred walks in carrying a tiger suit)

Fred: Yo, I changed my mind. Yo, check this out! Next tour I want you to dress up like a tiger, yo! You’re gonna be the super, most illest, most dopest, most stupidest guitar playing tiger ever, yo! Now get in the ghetto, bizkit!

Wes: I’m interviewing with---

Fred: NOW!!!

(William is interviewing Fred)

Fred: Yo, you know what I’m saying. That’s what I’m trying to get out there, it’s all about me, you know. I’m trying to get me out there for the people, for the masses, you know what I’m saying. My way or the highway, you know what I mean, that’s what I’m talking.

(A girl walks by and Fred slaps her on the butt)

Fred: Wassup?! Hey, yo, you ain’t gonna pass by without giving me some love, what up, sugar, gimme some love!

Girl: No! Somebody said you had a pinball machine in the bathroom.

Fred: Pinball machine in the bathroom? Lemme tell you something, girl, you ain’t need no pinball. You got the balls right here, yo.

Fred: The balls have a rhyme. Bizkit balls! Big Daddy Durst balls! Get it, get it, balls, balls!? You know what I’m saying, get my balls all up in here!

(William is on the phone)

William: Hey, mom. Could you come pick me up?

(Fred rushes to the phone and shouts: )

Fred: Holy macaroni!

(Fred slams the phone down and does that idiotic Big Daddy Durst laugh)

(Cut to William’s home)

Voiceover: Almost Famous 2: Boy Meets Bizkit. The tour that never ends…

(Fred is knocking William’s window)

William: Go away! Your article was printed three months ago.

Fred: Yo, wassup, William! Yo, I got some new lyrics to drop on you word, check this out!

Fred: Yo, I’m right here at your door
I’m looking through the glass to the floor
And you think I won’t stop---

William: LEAVE ME ALONE! Go away!

(William walks off and Fred keeps rapping)

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