Go Back   Planet MADtv > Our Database > MADtv Repository > MADtv Transcripts
Register Members List Mark Forums Read

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 08/29/2004, 7:40 PM
MJB12's Avatar
MJB12 Male MJB12 is offline
BREAKING BENJAMIN
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Centennial, CO
Posts: 1,590
Default Swimming Pool (#106)

SKETCH: OAKFIELD TOWERS (#106)

Employee..........................NICOLE SULLIVAN
Mr. Phillips.........................ORLANDO JONES

EMPLOYEE: So, you're all set, Mr. Phillips. You're in room 306.

PHILLIPS: Thank you. Oh, I understand you have tennis courts here?

EMPLOYEE: Yes, we have 2 courts. We also have a jacuzzi, and what we feel is our greatest feature here at Oakfield Towers - our olympic sized swimming pool.

PHILLIPS: Yes, it looks beautiful. I saw it when I drove in.

EMPLOYEE: Yes, it is. But, we do have a few rules of the pool: no urinating or spitting in the pool.

PHILLIPS: Sounds reasonable.

EMPLOYEE: We here at Oakfield Towers have the strictest standards...no snot blobs.

PHILLIPS: Snot blobs?

EMPLOYEE: No emptying your nose into the pool. No picking scabs and letting them float at the surface, or your pool priveleges will be revoked.

PHILLIPS: Yeah, that's...

EMPLOYEE: No farting into sponges and then throwing them into the water during our Best Swimmer's contest. Do not empty bags of pubic hair into the pool.

PHILLIPS: Now, why would someone have a bag of that?

EMPLOYEE: No leaving skid marks on the slide.

PHILLIPS: Miss, that's just nasty.

EMPLOYEE: No 30-pound pags of trucker's underwear are to be lowered by a rope into the pool.

PHILLIPS: Oh, god.

EMPLOYEE: No using a hollowed out dog filled with headcheese as a floatation device.

PHILLIPS: All this stuff has actually happened to you, hasn't it?

EMPLOYEE: These are just our rules.

PHILLIPS: I don't know if I want to go in a pool with all these damned rules.

EMPLOYEE: You'd rather use a pool that has snot blobs? No taking empty potato chip bags into the pool and then going underwater and filling them with baby puke.

PHILLIPS: That's just wrong.

EMPLOYEE: No 120-pound pigs named Tony wearing a cowboy hat allowed in the pool.

PHILLIPS: What? No pigs?

EMPLOYEE: Not without a bathing suit.

PHILLIPS: Oh, I was gonna say. (pulling bathing-suit-clad pig with him) Come on, Tony.

EMPLOYEE: Oh, and no diving!

__________________
Member of Caity's Sig Posse

Last edited by MJB12; 12/03/2004 at 10:25 PM.
Reply With Quote




Reply




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump
 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Happy Birthday, Pool Girl! [11/04] Viper Birthdays 12 11/05/2005 7:16 PM

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 7:47 AM.