[MADtv] A Vancome Christmas Carol (#411)

[elscorcho]

Nicole Sullivan..............Vancome Lady: Kathy Wajanowski
Michael McDonald..........Adam Sandler
Phil Lamarr...................Announcer (voice only)


(scene opens showing a big house in a snowy blizzard, then the inside, with Adam Sandler laying in a bed, wearing pajamas and a baseball cap)

Announcer: Two of America’s hottest stars together in a FOX holiday classic: A Christmas Carol.

Vancome Lady (voice only): Adaaaam Saaaaaandler…..

Adam (singing): The ghost of Christmas past came here really fast. I said “Who are you?” She said “You’re a jew!”

Vancome Lady (voice only): Tcha, you know what?

Announcer: And starring, The Vancome Lady.

(Vancome Lady appears)

Vancome Lady: I’m the ghost of Christmas past, otherwise known as Kathy Wajanowski.

Adam: Why come to me? I’ve never done anything to hurt anybody. I just want to make people happy! Ohhh!!

Announcer: She’s here to let Adam Sandler know if he’s been naughty, or nice.

Vancome Lady: I tell ya, not only do you act five, but you also dress five. That’s neat. You might soon be getting some hair down there. (points to Adam’s pubic area). That should be fun for ya!

Announcer: “TCHA HUMBUG!” says The San Francisco Chronicle.

Adam: You’re mean! What did I ever do to you?

Vancome Lady: Does Happy Gilmore mean anything to you? Your movies are so thin, they make Calista Flockhart look like Delta Burke! (laughs)

Announcer: Good Morning America says, “Not as good as the Alastair Sim version, but just as good as Henry Winkler’s."

Adam: And what about you? Huh? What about you? I at least graduated from sketch comedy!

Vancome Lady: (plugs ears) Lalalalala, lalalalala

Adam: And I’m now making multi-million dollar films…

Vancome Lady: Lalalala, lalalala

Adam: And you’re still in a sketch about me! Ohhhh!!

Announcer: A Vancome Christmas Carol. Coming in two years, on FOX!