[MADtv] Abercrombie & Fitch: Baby Abercrombie (#925)

[MoCollins4Ever]

Storm : Josh Meyers
Dutch : Ike Barinholtz
Carpenter : Ron Pederson
Pregnant Woman (PW) : Stephnie Wier
Man : Frank Caliendo

(Open to traditional Abercrombie store with naked pictures of guys on eachother and then you see Josh, Ike, and Ron dusting eachother.)

Man : Hello, hey, uh where are your cargo pants?

Dutch : We're out.

Man : Are you sure?

Carpenter : Yeah!

Man : But Abercrombie and Fitch always has---

Storm : Dude, we don't have em'. Bye! (Laughs)

Carpenter : But we do have cargo pants.

Dutch : But we told him we didn't.

Storm : Oh we just messed with his mind.

(All men highfive eachother)

(Pregnant woman enters the store) (Crowd laughs)

Carpenter : Uh-oh! Fat lady at two-o-clock.

Dutch : That's nothin bro. She's not fat, she's pregnant.

Storm : Good, cuz if she were fat we were going to have to ask her to leave.

Carpenter : I wonder what it's like to be pregnant.

Storm : I wonder what it's like to have a vagina.

Dutch : I wonder what it's like to see a vagina.

Carpenter : I wonder what it's like to want to see a vagina.

(all have thinking faces on for a black and white camera shot)

PW : Exscuse me, do you have this in a larger size? Oh no. Oh no. Oh I need help.

(holds stomach as if she's going into labor.)

Carpenter : Uh, this is Abercrombie. We don't help.

PW : Oh no, you don't understand. I'm going into labor. My water just broke. OHhhhhh. Uh.

(sits down on floor)

All 3 : YUCK!

PW : Ohhhh. Somebody please help me. Could you give me hand here?

Dutch : Dude, she's gunna give birth.

Carpenter : Well what do we do? Ignore her like we do everyone else?

Storm : No. This is an emergency. We have to check the manual.

Dutch : (reading) In case of emergency stop being snotty and help the person.

Storm : Well I don't know how NOT to be snotty.

Dutch : Come on Storm. Abercrombie isn't just about competing in the prep-school rigotta. It's about being the head cocksman with both hands firmly grasping your budy's ore.

Carpenter : Abercrombie's about breathing in the crisp morning air with your squash partner. Then towling eachother of until you're both mutually satisfied.

Storm : Yeah. And when the sun is setting and the enitre defensive line is on top of you, you have to suck it up and hold on to your balls.

PW : OHHHHHH! ahhhhhhhh.

Storm : Team Abercrombie, ready BREAK!

(all run over to the lady to help her)

Dutch : (hands pw a lacrosse stick) Here. Bite down on this!

(woman bites down on the stick and tries to talk)

Carpenter : We don't have any boiling water, but here's some cologne so at least you'll smell like a dew-kissed wood spray.

(woman continues to try and talk with the large lacrosse stick still in her mouth)

Storm : And this is a 300 - thread count button-down cotton broadcloth with a patch pocket that I'm gonna wear so I look more professional while i pull that thing outta you.

(woman moans with the stick still in her mouth)

Storm : Allright. Relax. Breathe. And push.

Dutch : Dude, you sound just like Noah Wiley.

Carpenter : Yeah, but you look like Clooney.

Storm : Thanks. (poses for black and white picture again that says Clooney!)

(woman moans and picture says horrible painful childbirth!)

Storm (holds new born baby as it cries) It's a boy. Wrapped in a sky-blue vintage look mustle tee that says Ching-Chong's Chinese Laundry.

Dutch : That's Chill!

Carpenter : Super chill.

Dutch : So chill.

Carpenter : Quick! The young new-dad pose!

(black and white picture says Dad? Who? Me?)

PW : Um, can I have my baby please?

Dutch : HEY! We just did something really really nice for you! So shut up and wait.

Carpenter : Did you see the vagina?

Storm : Yeah. It was worse than i could possibly imagine.

(black and white picture says Baby Abercrombie!)

-- ~ * scene fades out * ~ --

[Pizzotty]

good job. I watched this just the other day.

[MoCollins4Ever]

thanks... and where did you get your avatar? i LOVED that sketch!!!!!

[Pizzotty]

Originally posted by MoCollins4Ever
thanks... and where did you get your avatar? i LOVED that sketch!!!!!

http://photos.groups.yahoo.com/group...c=gr%26.view=t is where is got it from.

[MoCollins4Ever]

thank you!

[Pizzotty]

Originally posted by MoCollins4Ever
thank you!

No problem.

[MJB12]

Carpenter, not Carpender.

[MoCollins4Ever]

Originally posted by Andres
Just to let you know, Ike's charcter is Dutch and Ron's charcter is Carpender, they don't playthemselves in this scketch, for terms of accuricay, I would sugggest you fix this.

umm.... thanks for the help..... but i didnt know what the names were.... sry.

[MJB12]

Now you do, my Republican friend.

[MoCollins4Ever]

hehe!!!! YOU NOTICED!!! lol sry its just not too common to see bush fans on a site like this....