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Old 04/15/2009, 1:53 AM
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Default Cerise Muhammad: Ribbon Cutting (#1415)


Man #1 (Never Speaks): Unknown
Man #2: Johnny Sanchez
Jamaal Launtree: Keegan-Michael Key
Woman: Arden Myrin
Cerise Muhammad Fletcher: Erica Ash


(When something is in brackets and italicized, that means that it is a descriptive moment).


(In front of the Clifton Maleek Muhammad Center for Civil Rights Studies building. A podium in front with a red ribbon in front of that.)

Man #2: Thank you all for waiting. And now to officially open the Clifton Maleek Muhammad Center for Civil Rights Studies. Dr. Jamaal

Launtree will say a few words.

Jamaal Launtree: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you brothers and sisters. What can we say about Clifton Maleek Mohammad.

Cerise Muhammad Fletcher (Off-Screen): Am I late?

Jamaal Launtree: As, oh no.

(Cerise walks into scene stage left).

Man #2: Oh, oh, there she is, there she is. Uh, uh ladies and gentlemen, the daughter of Clifton Maleek Muhammad, Cerise. Cerise come on, come on up here. Come on up here. Come on.

Jamaal Launtree: Excuse me, this is a bad idea.

Cerise Muhammad Fletcher: Thank you.

Jamaal Launtree: This is a big mistake. I promise you. Nope.

Cerise Muhammad Fletcher: I'm sorry I'm late. I was getting my hair relaxed,

and I fell asleep (laugh). So I guess it wasn't just my hair that got relaxed and everything so.

Jamaal Launtree: We were just about to begin honouring your father. So if you don't mind you could just stand um, somewhere else.

Cerise Muhammad Fletcher (Silently): Ok, ok, I'll stand here.

Jamaal Launtree: Anywhere you want.

Cerise Muhammad Fletcher (to Woman. Whispering): Hi.

Woman: Hi.

Cerise Muhammad Fletcher (Whispering): Hi

Jamaal Launtree: Le, le, let us all bow our heads and uh take a moment of silence (looks at Cerise). Okay?

Cerise Muhammad Fletcher: That is a very good idea.

Jamaal Launtree: Yes.

Cerise Muhammad Fletcher: Shh!

Jamaal Launtree: M'hm.

(Everyone bows their heads

until Michael Jackson's "Thriller" is heard. Cerise hums along to the beat

Cerise Muhammad Fletcher: My ringtone sounds just like that. Oh (takes out phone). Sorry uh, I can't (turns on phone). Girl I can't talk right now I'm in a moment of silence (gets progressively louder). A moment of silence sorry. A moment of silence. Where are you?

Jamaal Launtree: You know what, give me the phone!

Cerise Muhammad Fletcher: Okay.

Jamaal Launtree: Give me the phone. Give me the phone. Okay you know what thank you very much Cerise for that moment of silence uh very memorable.

(Jamaal laughs).

Cerise Muhammad Fletcher: You’re welcome. And everything so.

Man #2: Uh, uh Cerise. Would you like to say a few words please.

(Cerise laughs).

Jamaal Launtree: Oh yes, yes please. Please, please by all means grace us with your damn eloquence.

(Clears throat. Jamaal moves back, as Cerise steps to the podium. Cerise clears throat).

Cerise Muhammad Fletcher: Hear ye, hear ye. I would like to say a few words (pulls out note cards). My father made a lot of speeches. And wrote them down before he spoke them. And everything, but I would like to speak to you extraniously from my heart (clears throat. Goes to next card). Do you have any questions for me?

Woman: Cerise uh, uh. This building is one of many named after your father. Are you at all intimidated by his presence?

(Cerise Laughs).

Cerise Muhammad Fletcher: No! I love my father's presence. Like this one Christmas he got me a pink bike, and everything.

Man #2: Uh, uh Cerise. How did your father’s persona at home differ from his persona in public.

Cerise Muhammad Fletcher: Well my father only had one Persona.

And he drove that Persona weather he was driving at home, or doing public driving, so.

Man #2: Wait, what?

Jamaal Launtree: She thinks a persona is a car.

She thinks it's a car. She thinks it's a car okay (whispering). The woman is a moron.

Woman: Uh, Cerise if, if your father was here today, what would you say to him?

Cerise Muhammad Fletcher: If my father was here today, I would say

(impish voice) daddy what are you doing here, I thought you were dead! And everything so.

Jamaal Launtree: Oh great lord and heaven, please keep me from smackin this woman upside the head.

Man #2: Uh, ye, ye, you know Cerise, it's time for you to cut the ribbon.

Cerise Muhammad Fletcher: Oh (laughs), okay (laughs. Picks up giant scissors). I feel like a midget (laughs. Jamaal squeezes the top of his nose in anger)! Now before I christen the Clifton Maleek Mohammad Center for the Civil Rights Studies, I would like to quote the great Martin Luther King Junior. I have a dream. I have a dream, that I am in high school, and I forgot to wear my pants, but I will never, ever forget to wear the civil rights.

Jamaal Launtree: Oh give me those damn scissors!

Ain't this about a bitch! I can't (Jamaal walks off stage left. Sketch ends).


Rise from the Dead!

Planet MADtv (August 28th 2002- August 28th 2009, August 28th 2010)

Last edited by tvmanismadformad; 04/17/2009 at 2:52 AM.
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