[MADtv] Mary Scheer (Seinfeld: "The Kiss Hello")

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© Miss Information

Thanks to Mark Brockbank from SeinfeldScripts.com for this transcribing this episode. For a transcript of the entire episode, click here.


Show: Seinfeld (1989-1998)
MADtv Castmember: Mary Scheer (1995-1998) as Joan
Episode Title: The Kiss Hello
Original Airdate: February 16th, 1995


Mary Scheer played Jerry's neighbor Joan in only one scene of this Seinfeld episode.

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Jerry Seinfeld ... Jerry Seinfeld
Mary Scheer ... Joan
Wendy Worthington ... Louise

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[Lobby, Jerry's Building]

Jerry is collecting his mail from his mailbox. A woman (Joan) enters and immediately goes for the kiss hello. She's friendly and overfamiliar.

JOAN: Hi Jerry. (she kisses Jerry) Mmmwah.

JERRY: (not as eager) Hi Joan.

JOAN: How you doing?

Jerry backs away toward the elevator.

JERRY: Pretty good.

JOAN: Just pretty good? Not great?

JERRY: Okay, great.

JOAN: Are you happy?

JERRY: Oh, I'm delighted.

JOAN: Okay. Have a nice day.

JERRY: You too.

The elevator comes down, the door opens and another woman (Louise) emerges, with a big friendly smile for Jerry.

LOUISE: Hi Jerry.

Louise also kisses the less than happy looking Jerry.

JERRY: Hi, Louise.

Louise walks on and the unhappy Jerry enters the elevator.