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Old 08/07/2009, 5:13 AM
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Default Episode S02E05: Frankvergnugen (Aired 2008-11-18)

Jay Leno's Final Tonight Show
It's Jay Leno(Frank Caliendo)'s final show as Tonight Show host. For it he has grabbed 3 of the biggest stars around. Unfortunately, he also grabbed three of the dullest. Harrison Ford (Mike MacRae), who refuses to say anything about his new movies, Dave Chappelle (Freddy Lockhart) who refuses to do a stand up routine, despite the fact that that is what he is there for, and runs away when Jay tries to interview him, and Amy Winehouse who comes in drunk, and throws up on set. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo, and Frank as Phil Gilford]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Jay Leno), Dwayne Chattman (Kevin Eubanks), Mike MacRae (Harrison Ford), Freddy Lockhart (Dave Chappelle), Nadya Ginsburg (Amy Winehouse)

Foreign Celebrity Sellout #1
James Gandolfini (Frank Caliendo) goes into a Russian bar to get some authentic Russian vodka, when a polar bear comes in wanting the same thing. All of a sudden, James pulls out a knife, as well as the bear, and they begin a standoff. James ends it with a left hook, and gives the motto for Gulag Vodka "It lets you wrestle polar bears and s**t!". [Intro and outro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (James Gandolfini)

From One Bill to Another
Bill Clinton (Frank Caliendo) is promoting his new book My Life Volume 3: The Hillary's Husband Years at a book expo when he runs into dedicated Republican newsman Bill O'Reilly (Mike MacRae) who is promoting his new book How the Liberals stole Christmas. At the expo, all the women seem to be coming for Bill Clinton. Bill O'Reilly wonders how he is doing it without alcohol, since it is a proven fact that the only way you can get women is with alcohol. Bill Clinton says he gets them with "capashion" and tells Bill O'Reilly that he can get her the woman of her dreams. That woman is incredibly hot, and incredibly Republican media pundit Ann Coulter (Elsa Wolthausen). He tells him to go up against a wall and just say "hey", and she will be all over him. Bill O'Reilly is still unconvinced, so Bill Clinton sucks it up and goes to show him as an example. He uses the line, and Ann is all over him. When Bill O'Reilly goes to relieve Bill Clinton of his wingman duties, Bill Clinton just can't do it, because he's Bill Clinton. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Credits: Mike MacRae (Bill O'Reilly), Frank Caliendo (Bill Clinton), Jill Bartlett (Woman), Elsa Wolthausen (Ann Coulter)

Caliendo's Squares: David Letterman
David Letterman (Frank Caliendo) is picked by a woman on Caliendo's Squares. His question is "who played Tony on the television show Taxi". David guesses Frank Caliendo. The woman disagrees, and she gets the square. They go to commercial as Frank tells the contestant that she has one absolutely nothing.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Himself, David Letterman)
Archival Footage: Frank Caliendo (Charles Barkley, James Gandolfini, Donald Trump, William Shatner, Paul Shaffer, David Letterman, Pat O'Brien, Jack Nicholson)

The stranded castaways of flight 815 are running through the forest when they run into a creature most feared, John Madden (Frank Caliendo). They ask him where the Others are, and John gives some unintelligible explanation on a white board. All of a sudden, a man with a laptop comes out of the forest. He is a writer for the show, and wonders if John knows how the show ends. John tells them it ends with the Harlem Globetrotters coming to the island, and building a raft out of coconuts, and that's the end of Lost, so John takes everyone out for polducken, which is a chicken stuffed inside a duck stuffed inside a polar bear. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Credits: Geoff Stirling (Mattew Fox: Jack Shepard), Jeff Ellingson (Josh Holloway: James "Sawyer" Ford), Joseph Nunez (Jorge Garcia: Hugo "Hurley" Reyes), Frank Caliendo (John Madden), Jina Song (Yunjin Kim: Sun-Hwa Kwon), Josh Fadem (Writer)

Inside the Actors Studio #1
James Lipton (Frank Caliendo) has found something nice to say about Paulie Shore, and even Tila Tequila, but his next interview is a first, where he cannot think of anything nice to say about the person he is interviewing Daniel "Larry the Cable Guy" Whitney (Frank Caliendo). But he takes it all back, when Larry simply says "Get'r done!" [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo as Phil Gilford]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (James Lipton, Daniel "Larry the Cable Guy" Whitney)

Go or Don't Go
In this instalment, Al Pacino (Frank Caliendo), and Robert De Niro (Frank Caliendo) review the movie Quantum of Solace, but they never get to reviewing the movie, because they both get into a debate on a new rating system Al is trying to bring in. Al wants to judge movies by popcorn bucket, but Robert thinks that the highest rating of 5 popcorns would make people sick, and that is not a good quality in a movie. [Intro performed by Frank Caliendo as Phil Gilford, and outro provided by Frank]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Al Pacino, Robert De Niro)

Foreign Celebrity Sellout #2
Harrison Ford (Mike MacRae) is doing a remake of the famous Indiana Jones scene where he steals the Golden Idol. Only now he is trying to steal Presto, a brand of toilet cleaner. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo, and outro provided by Frank, and Frank as Phil Gilford]

Credits: Mike MacRae (Harrison Ford)

Inside the Actors Studio #2
James Lipton interviews Owl #4 from the Harry Potter films.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (James Lipton)


  • Frank Caliendo (0A/22S/0W/8AF)
  • Freddy Lockhart (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Mike MacRae (1A/2S/0W/0AF)

Guest Starring:
  • Jill Bartlett (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Dwayne Chattman (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Jeff Ellingson (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Josh Fadem (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Nadya Ginsburg (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Joseph Nunez (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Jina Song (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Geoff Stirling (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Elsa Wolthausen (1A/0S/0W/0AF)

  • (A)ppearance Credit
  • (S)tarring Credit
  • (W)riting Credit
  • Non-Speaking Credit
  • (A)rchival (F)ootage

Last edited by tvmanismadformad; 08/15/2009 at 3:31 AM.
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