[Frank TV] Episode S02E04: Frank of America (Aired 2008-11-11)

[Miss Information]

Your Sired
Donald Trump (Frank Caliendo) releases his new book Your Sired: Raising Kids the Trump Way, a 138 page book in which he shows how anyone can train their children to become wealthy vice presidents of the Trump Corporation. Some of the steps include things like if your room is messy, fire the maid for not cleaning it, reading subclaus to the children, and if you have to throw a party make it lavished and fun for the kids with a Rosie O'Donnell piñata. [Intro, and outro provided by Frank Caliendo, and Frank as Phil Gilford]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Donald Trump), Dalton O'Dell (Donald's Son), Bryn Allen (Donald's Daughter)

Stones for Homes
After raising $25,000 for Habitat for Humanity by selling one of his passed kidney stones on eBay, William Shatner (Frank Caliendo) has decided to use his kidney's for good, and has created the Stones for Homes foundation in which he will produce more kidney stones than anyone ever has seen. With bed rest, and the eating of salted meats, William will produce the highest quality kidney stones imaginable, which will mean more money for the program. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo

Credits: Frank Caliendo (William Shatner), Jill Bartlett (Nurse), Tracy Miller (Doctor), Rachael Duguay [Frank TV Writer] (Woman #2)

Identity Theft
Sean Connery(Frank Caliendo)'s identity has been stolen by a fat Hispanic man. At the police station, the police officer trying to figure out the situation is not sure who's Sean Connery. The real Sean is outraged. He's one of the most recognisable stars in the world, it's obvious that he's Sean. The police officer is still not sure, which gets the real Sean angry. He wonders how there are not more crimes in the United States, and claims that the police officer probably couldn't even find his own member in the shower. The officer tells another one to take Sean in. That's when Sean's friend Peter O'Toole (Mike MacRae) comes in. He can vouch for Sean, but he is so drunk that he thinks the Hispanic man is Sean, and the real Sean is locked up. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Sean Connery), Armando Cosio (Sean Connery Imposter), Mike MacRae (Peter O'Toole)

The Mary Tyler Moore Office
One of the most popular shows on TV right now is The Office. It's filmed with no live audience and with no laugh track. That works today, but what if a show like The Mary Tyler Moore Show be like if they had to be performed under such circumstances? In it, Mary Richards (Mo Collins) asks Murray Slaughter (Mike MacRae) out for lunch, but Murray thinks he'll just have a turkey sandwich with turkey Ted Baxter (Frank Caliendo). He then explains the joke in the interview because without a laugh track he wasn't sure if anyone got it. As the show goes on, the cast is beginning to get angry with the format, wondering why no one is laughing, why the camera only seems focuses on one person at a time, and why there are so many awkward pauses. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Credits: Mo Collins (Mary Tyler Moore: Mary Richards), Jeff Rothpan [Frank TV Writer] (Gavin MacLeod: Murray Slaughter), Frank Caliendo (Ted Knight: Ted Baxter), Mike MacRae (Edward Asner: Lou Grant)

Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp
It's a rock and roll fantasy camp, but after Joe Walsh, and Gene Simmons cancelled due to tours, and a sex tape problem respectively, they had to do with the substitution. Paul Shaffer (Frank Caliendo), Tracy "Ice-T" Morgan (Freddy Lockhart), and Ozzie Osborne (Mike MacRae). Paul teaches them the art of jamming, and tells them to never play a song longer than 5 seconds. Ozzie teaches the sex, drugs, and rock and roll of the rock star life. All that's needed is a television, a couch, popcorn, and a dog. Women, not important. Ice T teaches about lyrics, and tells them that writing should be inspired by the surroundings, and those surroundings should be in the local library. [Intro, and outro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Credits: Jon Huck (Camp Coordinator), Ron Lynch (Camper #1), John Farley (Camper #2), David Lawrence (Camper #3), Jeff Rothpan [Frank TV Writer] (Camper #4) Frank Caliendo (Paul Shaffer), Freddy Lockhart (Tracy "Ice T" Marrow), Mike MacRae (Ozzie Osborne)

Scooby-Doo Visits the White House *Cartoon*
Scooby-Doo and the gang go for a tour of the White House, but Scooby and Shaggy end up getting lost from the tour and end up in a hidden area, where the ghost of Abraham Lincoln appears. They run away from him until they trap him in the oval office. When they pull the mask off of him it turns out to be Hillary Clinton who did it because she thinks she should be in the White House. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Close: Bill O'Reilly
Phil Gilford (Frank Caliendo) talks about what Bill O'Reilly (Mike MacRae) would say if the draft age was moved up to 60. He would say it's time to get the Hell out of Iraq. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Phil Gilford), Mike MacRae (Bill O'Reilly)

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Starring:

• Frank Caliendo (0A/16S/0W/0AF)
• Freddy Lockhart (0A/1S/0W/0AF)
• Mike MacRae (3A/2S/0W/0AF)

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Guest Starring:

• Bryn Allen (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
• Jill Bartlett (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
• Mo Collins (0A/1S/0W/0AF)
• Armando Cosio (0A/1S/0W/0AF)
• Rachael Duguay (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
• John Farley (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
• Jon Huck (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
• David Lawrence (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
• Ron Lynch (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
• Tracy Miller (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
• Dalton O'Dell (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
• Jeff Rothpan (0A/1S/0W/0AF)

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Legend:

• (A)ppearance Credit
• (S)tarring Credit
• (W)riting Credit
• Non-Speaking Credit
• (A)rchival (F)ootage

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