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Old 08/04/2009, 5:17 AM
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Default Episode S01E05: Frankincense and Myrrh (Aired 2007-12-18)

Dr. Phil Crashes the Party #1
It's X-Mas time at Frank TV, and there is a Christmas party too. When Frank Caliendo goes to see what's going on, he sees that the party has been crashed by Phil McGraw (Frank Caliendo), who is giving advice to people, without them even asking, and asking questions like "is Kwanza the black Hanukkah?" to some black partygoers.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Phil Gilford, Himself, Phil McGraw)

Andy Rooney gets an iPhone
Andy Rooney (Frank Caliendo) has been hearing all these good things about the iPhone, so he finally got one, but he can't tell the difference between the box, and the actual phone. When someone tells him to take out the phone from the box, Andy takes out the phone, but still thinks that it's the box. When someone points him to the phone, he wonders where the long curly cord is, and how he is suppose to hang it up. When he gets told that there is a camera, a notepad, calculator, and a calendar inside, he breaks the iPhone looking for it.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Andy Rooney)

A Frank Sitdown: Arvie Seals
Tonight’s co-host is Arvie Seals, a man who works for FedEx.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Himself), Arvie Seals (Himself)

Al Gore's Supernova
After the success of his first film An Inconvenient Truth, Al Gore (Frank Caliendo) brings out his new movie Supernova, about when the sun is going to explode and engulf the Earth, which won't happen most likely for millions of years. He says that the rays will destroy the o-zone layer in minutes, and turn everyone into "half alive chicken fried zombie monsters" looking for flesh. Supernova: It's commin y'all.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Al Gore)

Catch the Rosie Runner *Cartoon*
Donald Trump is chasing Rosie O'Donnell in the style of the cartoon Road Runner and the Coyote. Donald tries running her over with a bike, but ends up going off a cliff. He tries taking her down with a missile, but ends up blowing up himself. He then tries baiting Rosie with some burgers, and while she eats, he plans to drop an anvil on her, but the anvil doesn't drop, until she leaves, and he gets under the target.

Dr. Phil Crashes the Party #2
As Phil circulates the party, he runs into a 3 year old, who says he wants an elf. Phil says that if he wants that elf, he should get a job and work for it, and then steals his candy cane. He then tells a security guard to go backstage and remove Phil from the perimeter.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Himself, Phil McGraw)

In My 5 with Charles Barkley
Charles Barkely (Frank Caliendo) is getting his own talk show with the people in this Fave 5. His guests are Tom Cruise (Thomas McKenna), Owen Wilson, Ray Romano, Tiger Woods (Sigmund Watkins), and Charles cousin Fuzzy (Gary "G. Thang" Johnson). When Charles asks Tiger about how we should solve Iran, Tiger feels confused by the question, and doesn't know how to answer, since he thought he was there to talk about golf. Charles then kicks Tiger out of his Fave 5, for not caring about the real issue, and brings in Marv Albert. He then starts to kick out other people for doing things that he doesn't like, like Ray making a bad joke. The show ends with Charles saying "don't make me mad, or you won't be in my 5".

Credits: Thomas McKenna (Tom Cruise), Sigmund Watkins (Tiger Woods), Gary "G. Thang" Johnson (Fuzzy), Frank Caliendo (Charles Barkley)

NBC Nightly News with Johnny Carson
Johnny Carson (Frank Caliendo) takes control of the NBC Nightly News, but he has trouble doing it, because he is not use to talking about such serious news, like an untreatable small pox outbreak in Yugoslavia, and a train crash that dismembered, and maimed 300 people. He then sends the show into commercial, promising that an animal trainer will be giving the 5-day forecast after the break.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Johnny Carson), Chris Tallman (Ed McMahon)

Dr. Phil Crashes the Party #3
It's almost time for the audience to go back to the party, but when Frank turns on the TV to see how it's going, he can see Phil , drunk, and trying to get a woman to kiss him under the missile toe. Frank sees this as a cry for help, and Phil says it is, because when he was a kid, his dad would work on Christmas, and forget to give him a present, and that he is going around the party, and making a scene to make sure people won't forget about him. Frank says he had no idea Phil felt this way, and allowed him to stay, and sing Christmas carols with the people.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Himself, Phil McGraw)


  • Frank Caliendo (0A/1S/0W/0AF)

Guest Starring:
  • Gary "G. Thang" Johnson (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Thomas McKenna (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Arvie Seals (0A/1S/0W/0AF)
  • Chris Tallman (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Sigmund Watkins (1A/0S/0W/0AF)

  • (A)ppearance Credit
  • (S)tarring Credit
  • (W)riting Credit
  • Non-Speaking Credit
  • (A)rchival (F)ootage Credit

Last edited by tvmanismadformad; 08/11/2009 at 5:53 AM.
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