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Old 08/05/2009, 4:07 AM
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Default Episode S02E02: Damn Frankees (Aired 2008-10-28)

Chuck 'N' Shaq
Charles Barkley (Frank Caliendo), and Shaquille "Shaq" O'Neal (Aries Spears) hold a political talk show for the new ESPN channel ESPN Political. Unfortunately, Charles can understand what Shaq is saying, which makes the back and forth between them difficult. When Charles asks Shaq about how to stop raising gas prices, Shaq comes prepared, with charts, and suggests raising oil tariffs. Charles looks at this as pointless, most likely because he knows he can't beat Shaq's knowledge, so he decides to decide the debate the constitutional way, with a free throw contest. Charles nails the basket, and now it is Shaq's turn. Unfortunately, Shaq's inability to throw free throws precedes him, as he horribly misses the basket, and Charles claims victory. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo, and Frank as Phil Gilford]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Charles Barkley), Aries Spears (Shaquille "Shaq" O'Neal), Reginald Ballard (Fuzzy), Irene Roseen (Ruth Ginsberg)

The Quarterback
John Madden (Frank Caliendo) had it all. He was a Super Bowl winning coach, a video game magnet, and a hall of fame announcer, but this summer, life dealt him a crushing blow. Brett Favre, John's favourite quarterback of all time retired. He eventually came back, but John knew it was time to move on. Now John must find a new quarterback to love in The Quarterback. It's down to 3 quarterbacks. Payton Manning (Payton Manning), Tony Romo (Joey Reinert), and Tom Brady (Rob O'Malley), but Payton takes himself out by saying something mean about Brett Favre. When it comes down to the final 2, John doesn't know who to pick, so he gives it to the one man who truly deserves it. His cardboard cut out of Brett Favre. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (John Madden), Chris Patterson (Himself), Wade Harlan (Payton Manning), Joey Reinert (Tony Romo), Rob O'Malley (Tom Brady)

Rush Limbaugh: Radio DJ #1
Frank TV shows how they think Rush Limbaugh (Frank Caliendo) would have been like in his first radio profession, as a 70's disc jockey. In his show, he wonders where the father of the Partridge family is, if Gloria Gainer will "survive" without a handout, and tells Abba's Fernando to stay on his side of the border. He then brings out his guest, The Village People, who he loves for their support of America, but suggests that they lose the Indian guy (Tony Tripoli). When they tell him that they are all gay, he is shocked, and says that he is going to get some of the biggest names in music, like Libarachi, Elton John, and Freddy Mercury, and every Abba fan to stamp out this disgusting group. He then leaves to go drink with some real men at a bar called The Raw Hide. [Intro, and outro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Rush Limbaugh), Jeff Rothpan [Frank TV Writer](Switchboard Operator), John Cantwell (Randy Jones), Reginald Ballard (Victor Willis), Tony Tripoli (Felipe Rose)

John McCain's Celebrity Supporters
With everyone supporting Barack Obama, Frank TV wonders who John McCain (Frank Caliendo) has on his side. In a sketch, John meets some of his celebrity endorsers. They include Helen Hunt's brother in law, Mike Shumpsky (Ben Falcone), Jack (Adam DeVine) a guy who got cut from making it into N'Sync in the last round of auditions, and Jessica (Heather Brooker) a girl who fell down a well at 18 months old. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (John McCain), Ben Falcone (Mike Shumpsky), Adam DeVine (Jack), Heather Brooker (Jessica)

Caliendo's Squares: Donald Trump
A contestant, Kristin picks Donald Trump (Frank Caliendo). Donald's question is "who is on the $5 bill?" Donald doesn't know, since he hasn't seen a $5 bill since he was a kid. He then calls Frank himself to ask him who's on it. Frank responds Lincoln, and Kristin agrees and gets the square.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Himself, Charles Barkley, James Gandolfini, Donald Trump, William Shatner, Paul Shaffer, Phil McGraw, David Letterman, Pat O'Brien, Jack Nicholson)

Halloween at Al Gore's House
It is Halloween. Some kids go to Al Gore(Frank Caliendo)'s house, but instead of scaring the kids the normal way, Al scares them with his own brand of terror. A picture of the Florida everglades in the year 2030, and melted glacier water. He then gives the kids trees, and Melissa Ethridge CD's. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Al Gore), Maxim Knight (Boy Goblin), Bryn Allen (Girl Goblin), Jake Elliott (Spiderman), Mike MacRae (Carl Pope: Rex Tillerson), Brynn Samms (Immitating Victoria Beckam)

March of the Penguins II: Still Marching
The people from March of the Penguins are looking for other people, besides Morgan Freeman to do their voiceovers. Voice actors include Robert DeNiro, Robin Williams, Samuel Jackson, Vince Vaughn, and Jack Nicholson. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo]

Close: Rush Limbaugh: Radio DJ #2
Rush Limbaugh's show is sponsored by the pet rock "Throw it at Jane Fonda". [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo, and Frank as Phil Gilford]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Rush Limbaugh), Jeff Rothpan [Frank TV Writer] (Switchboard Operator)


  • Frank Caliendo (8A/17S/-W/0AF)
  • Freddy Lockhart (0A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Mike MacRae (1A/0S/0W/0AF)

Guest Starring:
  • Bryn Allen (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Reginald Ballard (2A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Heather Brooker (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • John Cantwell (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Adam DeVine (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Jake Elliott (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Ben Falcone (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Wade Harlan (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Maxim Knight (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Rob O'Malley (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Chris Patterson (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Joey Reinert (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Irene Roseen (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Jeff Rothpan (2A/0S/-W/0AF)
  • Brynn Samms (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Aries Spears (0A/1S/0W/0AF)
  • Tony Tripoli (1A/0S/0W/0AF)

  • (A)ppearance Credit
  • (S)tarring Credit
  • (W)riting Credit
  • Non-Speaking Credit
  • (A)rchival (F)ootage

Last edited by tvmanismadformad; 08/15/2009 at 3:26 AM.
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