[Frank TV] Episode S01E02: Money in the Frank (Aired 2007-11-27)

[Miss Information]

Jack Nicholson Loses his Pants
Jack Nicholson (Frank Caliendo) comes into Frank Caliendo's dressing room looking for his pants, when Frank says that he doesn't know where they are, Jack begins searching Frank's room. When Frank says that Jack's pants aren't in his dressing room, Jack gets mad, wondering what kind of operation Frank is running where a man's pants can go missing. Jack then begins talking non sense. Dropping names like Johnny Carson, and Jack Lemon, and saying things like "you have no idea what goes on north of 70". When Frank asks Jack to retrace his steps, Jack goes back through his day, in which he had sex with Frank's secretary, Trish in his dressing room, but he was already without his pants when the encounter occurred. He then all of a sudden remembers that he was getting a shirt altered at the tailors, and seems to completely forget about the pants.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Himself, Jack Nicholson)

Donald Trump Financial Seminar
Donald Trump (Frank Caliendo) is touring the country telling people how they can get rich. For only hundreds of dollars, Donald will teach you the rules to getting rich. One rule is Make sure father is rich. If you don't have a rich father, get one. Second rule B-T-M-T-B-B-F-D-F-G-S, Borrow Ten Million to Buy Building From Dad's Friend George Steinbrenner. If no money is available, it's as simple as doing the first rule. The third and final rule is to get a casino, which will make money fast. Follow the Donald Trump Financial Seminar, and money will flow, the Donald Trump way. [Intro provided by Frank Caliendo, and Frank as Phil Gilford]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Donald Trump, Himself), Natalie Reid (Paris Hilton), Jeff Rothpan [Frank TV Writer] (Seminar Graduate)

A Frank Sitdown: Jessica Aubuchon #1
Frank Caliendo brings up his co-host for the evening, Jessica Aubuchon, whose nickname is Cracker. When she sees that Jessica owns a mortgage company, Frank asks if she likes to see people cry. She says no, but does say that it's busy right now. Jessica then tells a story of how she met Paris Hilton in a bathroom, in which she tried to bum a cigarette off her.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Himself), Jessica Aubuchon (Herself)

Reconsolidating with America
George Bush (Frank Caliendo) is addressing the nation to talk about a serious problem facing America. The relationship between it, and it's commanding leader, himself. He has a special surprise for America. A romantic dinner for 2, where they can sit down and wonder where they went wrong. George thinks it's about "Iraqistan isn't it?" George says that it's just work, and that he has an undying devotion to America. He then says that he wants America to laugh with him again, and that maybe they should rent Underdog on DVD to laugh again. He's still the same funny George, but frankly America's not the same America he came in with. She's gotten a little fat since 2000. America then throws wine in George's face. George then apologises, and asks America to give him one more year, and if everything is still not ok, then he'll move out of the house.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (George Bush)

Little Joey Caliendo #1
Frank Caliendo shows footage of his son, Joey Caliendo doing a George Bush impression.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Himself), Jessica Aubuchon (Herself), Joey Caliendo (Himself)

A Frank Sitdown: Jessica Aubuchon #2
Frank asks Jessica to send the show into its commercial break by reading from a card. The card says "We'll be back with more Frank TV with Frank, and me, Kelly Ripa".

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Himself), Jessica Aubuchon (Herself)

Go or Don't Go
Al Pacino (Frank Caliendo) and Robert De Niro (Frank Caliendo) review the new released movies in Go or Don't Go, to help the audience choose their movies wisely, but since they don't have the money, or the contacts to actually see the movies, they judge the movies by things like what theatre the movie is playing in, the times of the movies, and the titles of the movies. For example, Al says Don't Go see American Gangsters because it's only playing at 7:10 at a theatre, which is too early, and the other theatre in the midst of construction work on the street outside of it. As for other reviews, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium gets a Don't Go from Robert, due to its goofy title, and a Go from Al because it has Dustin Hoffman in it, who sat through all of Al's movie Two for the Money, and Bee Movie gets 2 Don't Go's because Al doesn't care for the theatre it's being ran in, and bees ruined Robert's picnic. In their DVD section, they review Heat, which they were both in, but say Don't Go, because you got to order from Netflix by credit card. [Outtro provided by Frank Caliendo, and Jessica Aubuchon]

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Al Pacino, Robert De Niro)

Sean Connery's Voice Club for Men
For nerds with voices that would make any woman cringe, there's the Sean Connery (Frank Caliendo) Voice Club for Men. In Sean Connery's Voice Club for Men, any man from the pathetic to the nerdy, will learn how to speak in the voice of Sean. A voice that make women hike up there skirts and say daddy. With Sean's course, he will take anyone from Dr. No, to Dr. Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Oh Yes! If Sean's voice can't get a person laid, Sean takes pity on them, as there must be something horribly wrong with them.

Credits: Brenden Hay [Frank TV Writer] (Nerd), Frank Caliendo (Himself, Sean Connery), Jeff Rothpan [Frank TV Writer] (Student), Stacey Alysson (Attractive Assistant)

Close: Little Joey Caliendo #2
Frank closes out the show, and scenes are shown of his son doing an Al Pacino impression.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Himself, Phil Gilford), Joey Caliendo (Himself)

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Starring:

• Frank Caliendo (0A/15S/-W/0AF)

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Guest Starring:

• Stacey Alysson (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
• Jessica Aubuchon (1A/3S/0W/0AF)
• Joey Caliendo (1A/1S/0W/0AF)
• Brenden Hay (0A/1S/0W/0AF)
• Natalie Reid (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
• Jeff Rothpan (2A/0S/0W/0AF)

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Legend:

• (A)ppearance Credit
• (S)tarring Credit
• (W)riting Credit
• Non-Speaking Credit
• (A)rchival (F)ootage Credit

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