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Old 08/03/2009, 4:23 AM
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Default Episode S01E01: Franksgiving (Aired 2007-11-20)

Open: Frank Gets his Own Show
Frank Caliendo comes out. He describes the experience of getting his own show to a kid getting a big Christmas present. He shows the audience his main set, which looks like a living room, in the voice of Robin Williams.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Phil Gilford, Himself)

Seinfeld 2027
Coming to TBS, in an event so important, so monumental, and so important, that TBS is telling everyone to set your timers, and pop your popcorn, 20 years ahead of time. It's the Seinfeld reunion special coming to TBS in 2027. In this episode, George Costanza(Frank Caliendo)'s car gets trapped under six feet of water due to global warming, and Jerry Seinfeld (Frank Caliendo) hover shoes have mysteriously disappeared. Jerry's shoes are gone, because Cosmo Kramer (Frank Caliendo) lost them in a poker game, to postal employee, and Jerry's nemesis Newman (Frank Caliendo). Despite the fact that they are all 20 years older, and 20 pounds heavier, they are still and zany as they were when they were America's #1 sitcom. The Seinfeld reunion special, coming to TBS, in the not so distant future of 2027.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Jason Alexander: George Costanza, Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Richards: Cosmo Kramer, Wayne Knight: Newman, Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Elaine Benes), Casey Washington (Roger)

Turducken #1
Since its Thanksgiving time, Frank's good friend, John Madden (Frank Caliendo) is cooking up a very special meal for the audience. It's a Turducken, which is a chicken, stuffed inside a duck, stuffed inside a turkey. He's also thinking of adding another meat like a weasel, or a buck horned sheep.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Himself, John Madden)

A Frank Sitdown: Rick Zeitlan #1
Despite the fact that this is Frank TV, Frank doesn't want to be on the ball all the time, so he gets someone from the audience to come up and be like the Paul Shafer, to his David Letterman, and co-host the show with him.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Himself), Rick Zeitlan (Himself)

The Three Tenors of Movie Trailers
The Three biggest announcers in movie trailers come together to perform a traveling show, in which they announce a ridiculous movie starring Jean Claude Van Damme, in which he leaves a life of hit man work to raise 12 kids, which are the children of the corn. When the kids are stricken with a fateful disease, he must find the cure, before it's too late, but not until his buddies tie him up for the bachelor party of the century, that will leave a trail of nuclear destruction. So, get ready for the Hong Kong action thriller, feel good Christmas Cheaper by the Dirty Dozen Part Duex: The Reckoning. Coming to a theatre near you this summer.

Credits: Don LaFontaine (Himself), Frank Caliendo (Movie Trailer Announcer #2), Pablo Francisco (Movie Trailer Announcer #3)

A Frank Sitdown: Rick Zeitlan #2
Frank asks Rick what he does for fun. Rick says he likes doing road trips. Frank says he likes going to the library.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Himself), Rick Zeitlan (Himself)

The William Jefferson Clinton Library
Bill Clinton (Frank Caliendo) takes a tour of his library in a promotional video. At his library, he believes in having fun. That's why he put doggy folds on pages that have nudity in them, so that the average reader can find them easier. At the Clinton Library, there are no internet blocks, so people can enjoy sites like milfsluts.com all day long. Also, in the library is a wall of all the women he's banged, pop a shot, and a VIP lounge, with 25 cent hot wings, and plenty of librarians to "serve" you. Just remember the one rule at the Clinton Library. What happens at the Clinton Library, stays at the Clinton Library.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Bill Clinton), Gary "G. Thang" Johnson (Rapper)

Turducken #2
John is basting the turducken, while singing a turducken song he made up.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Himself, John Madden), Rick Zeitlan (Himself)

Fatherly Advice from Bush to Bush
President George Bush(Frank Caliendo)'s daughter, Jenna Bush (Tracy Miller) is going to be married the next day, so George must give her some fatherly advice for her new endeavour, but since George isn't good with words, he brings in Dick Cheney (Frank Caliendo) to do it. Dick gives her the advice, and tells her how much he loves her, but he makes it sound like it's something he was pre recorded to say. As George waits outside, playing with a paddle toy, Dick is getting to Jenna's honeymoon night. An already uncomfortable Jenna really wants Dick to stop, but he continues, and tells her that it won't be pleasurable.

Credits: Mandy Steckelberg (Laura Bush), Frank Caliendo (George Bush, Dick Cheney), Rick Zeitlan (Himself)

Caliendo's Squares: Charles Barkley
Caliendo introduces a game he use to play on one of his friends radio shows called Caliendo's Squares, in which Rick must pick from 9 different celebrities to ask a question to. Similar to Hollywood Squares. Rick picks Charles Barkley (Frank Caliendo). Charles question is "Name the man the CIA named "the most evil man on the planet?"" Charles says "Who is Kim Jong Il?", not as an answer, but as a question, in wondering who he is, and why a small man like him wants to destroy the world? Seeing that Charles is going nowhere, Frank gives Rick the square. His prize is 3 days, and 3 nights. After the game, Frank fires Rick as his co-host.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Himself, Robert De Niro, Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino, Sean Connery, George Bush, Julia-Louis Dreyfus, Charles Barkley, James Lipton, Donald Trump, Phil Gilford), Rick Zeitlan (Himself)

Turducken #3
It's just about time for the Turducken to be ready, so Frank checks back on John Madden in the kitchen to see how he's doing, but when the camera goes back there, John is nowhere to be found. When they check his dressing room, they find John passed out on the couch, with the whole tray of turducken eaten. Frank just decides to order pizza for everyone, and closes the show.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Himself, John Madden)

Close: Goodbye Frank
Some big celebrities say goodbye to Frank from there square on Caliendo's Squares.

Credits: Frank Caliendo (Jack Nicholson, Al Pacino, John Madden, Sean Connery, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, George Bush, William Shatner, Donald Trump, Michael Richards, Charles Barkley, Al Gore, Robert De Niro)


  • Frank Caliendo (8A/32S/0W/0AF)

Guest Starring:
  • Pablo Francisco (0A/1S/0W/0AF)
  • Gary "G. Thang" Johnson (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Don LaFontaine (0A/1S/0W/0AF)
  • Mandy Steckelberg (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Casey Washington (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Rick Zeitlan (0A/5S/0W/0AF)

  • (A)ppearance Credit
  • (S)tarring Credit
  • (W)riting Credit
  • Non-Speaking Credit
  • (A)rchival (F)ootage Credit

Last edited by tvmanismadformad; 08/14/2009 at 11:24 PM.
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