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Old 11/10/2007, 8:20 PM
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Default To Catch a Predator: Melvin Dufrane (#1305)

To Catch a Predator: Melvin Dufrane

Melvin Peele - Melvin Dufrane
Michael McDonald - Chris Hansen
Arden Myrin - Tiffany
Johnny Sanchez - Police Officer #1
Keegan-Michael Key - Police Officer #2


Chris Hansen: I'm Chris Hansen, and this is To Catch a Predator. Tonight's investigation takes us to Los Angeles, perv capital of the world. We've set up a fake online sex chat room using this decoy

[A picture of Tiffany appears on the screen]

...to lure this man

[A picture of Melvin appears on the screen]

...to this house, where he think he's going to have sex with a teenage girl. Now, I don't know about you, but I love watching a full-grown man be reduced to a blubbering pile of tears using my withering stare and blistering cross-examination.

[To Catch a Predator appears on the screen. We then see Tiffany entering her house]

Tiffany: Come on in! I'm so excited to be with you that I'm going into another room.

[Chris Hansen then comes into the kitchen ]

Chris Hansen: Hello! Why don't you take a seat?

[Melvin takes a seat]

Chris Hansen: Why don't you tell me what you're doing here?

Melvin: Yeah, man! I was just about to go have some sex with this teenage girl I met on the internet right quick!

Chris Hansen: Uh, ok - let's talk about it.

Melvin: Oh, oh, oh - wait a minute, you was here for the teenage sex too, dawg! Oh, I get it - my bad, brutha, I'm early, i'm early.

Chris Hansen: Do you have any idea how old this girl is?

Melvin: 17, baby! 17 and buttery like a biscuit. You know what I'm talkin' bout? Filthy in the mind, too. You know what I'm sayin'?

Chris Hansen: So you are openly admitting to your intention to have sex with a minor?

Melvin: Heck, I don't care if she's a miner, a chef, a ventriloquist. Hell, she could lean back and I'd get my easter egg dyed! Hell yeah! Come on baby me and you, right now, the both of us. Let's go.

Chris Hansen: No, no, no, no - now do you realize what you're proposing is illegal?

Melvin: What we proposing is illegal.

Chris Hansen: I am not here to have sex with a teenager!

Melvin: You mean to tell me you've got a perfectly fine, fully developed 17-year old girl who willin' and able, and you not interested, right?

Chris Hansen: I am not interested. Right.

Melvin: It's your dick! Haha, alright.

Chris Hansen: Why don't we go to the transcript of your online chat with Tiffany? Tiffany writes: "Hi, I'm Tiffany. I'm 17 years old". Your response: "Guess that means I want to doink you.".

Melvin: Don't stop there, man! I got a haiku about my dick in there. It's hilarious. Oh read that part where I'm like "Yo we cool like there's fire between us. Come with me and touch my penis".

Chris Hansen: I'm just gonna level with you, alright? I'm Chris Hansen of Dateline NBC.

Melvin: Oh! Don't worry, Chris, you're secrets safe wit' me, baby.

Chris Hansen: I do not have a secret!

Melvin: Look at me, man.

Chris Hansen: No! You look at me!

Melvin: Chris! Chris! You chicken out now, you'll regret this for the rest of your life.

Chris Hansen: I'm gonna let you in on a little secret - this entire conversation is being videotaped.

[The cameramen walk in]

Melvin: Good idea, man! I'mma want a video tape of this sex party so I could show my boys later. What's up, Ray Ray?

[He runs into the living room]

Melvin: Come on, girl!

Chris Hansen: Have I lost it?

[We then see Melvin being led out of the house in handcuffs by the two police officers]

Melvin: Haha! Oh y'all looks like the male strippers showed up. We gonna have an orgy tonight!

Police Officer #2: You have the right to remain silent.

Melvin: You have the right to remain sexy, baby!

Police Officer #2: Anything you say...

[The sketch ends with Chris Hansen shaking his head]

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