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  #1  
Old 12/16/2004, 4:26 PM
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Default Bae Sung: Restaurant (#1002)

© Miss Information

Sketch Length: 3:05
Original Airdate: 9/25/04


Bobby Lee ... Bae Sung
Paul Vogt ... Customer
(Anthony Chow) ... Chinese Man


(A Chinese man is eating in a restaurant. He begins to choke on his meal and to speak in Chinese. A concerned customer runs to his side.)

Customer: Oh, God! Oh, God! Somebody call 911! Call 911!

(The Chinese man says something in Chinese.)

Customer: What? I'm sorry. I can't understand what he's saying. Are you Japanese? Jap-an-ese?!

Chinese Man: China! Chinese!

Customer: Chinese. Chinese. Okay. Does anyone speak Chinese?

(Bae Sung turns around frm a booth neraby as the MADtv audience applauds in recognition of the popular recurring character.)

Bae Sung: Yes?

Customer: You speak Chinese?

Bae Sung: Yes, yes.

Customer: Well, could you help this man? He's hurt, and he's trying to say something.

Bae Sung: Yes, yes. The man hurt. Yes. For when the man hurt. Yes.

(Bae Sung turns back around and continues to eat his meal.)

Customer: Could you come over now? He's really in pain!

Bae Sung: Yes, the man hurt. Yes.

(The customer brings Bae Sung to the Chinese man. The man begins speaking in Chinese.)

Customer: What's he saying?

Bae Sung: He say, it's like a, it's like a, you know, it's like a 'Mr. Brown, vroom, vroom,' you know? It's like a 'Mr. Brown, vroom, vroom, eee." You know?

Customer: Mr. Brown?

Bae Sung: Yes, Mr. Brown. And then, when there is no Mr. Brown, the man [imitates a choking noise] You know? And he says it's like, you know, 'choochie no.' You know, it's like a 'choochie no.'

(The Chinese Man continues to choke and keels down on the floor.)

Customer: Oh, God! Please do something. This man is dying!

Bae Sung: Yes, the dying man, yes. [to Chinese Man] Bye!

(Bae Sung begins to walk away, but the customer stops him.)

Customer: No, wait! Please!

(The Chinese man continues to choke and points toward his throat.)

Customer: He's pointing to his throat! He's got something stuck in his throat! Does anybody know the Heimlich?

Bae Sung: Yes, yes.

Customer: You know the Heimlich?

Bae Sung: 'Heimlich,' yes. 'Doich.'

Customer: Thank God!

Bae Sung: Ah ha ha ha ha! Oh, my God! Thanking God man, you know that he is! But when you don't have the God, the man come in. Yes.

Customer: Just do it! Just give him the Heimlich!

(Bae Sung goes to give the man the Heimlich; but instead, he lifts the mans arms, begins swinging them back and forth, and singing in gibberish.)

Customer: What are you doing!?

Bae Sung: Ah, ha!

Customer: What is it? What did you find? Is he okay?

(Bae Sung pulls a hot dog out of the man's throat and holds it up for the camera.)

Bae sung: Uh-oh, hot dog!

(An animated hot dog appears on the screen an Oriental pop song plays as the audience applauds and the sketch comes to an end.)

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  #2  
Old 12/16/2004, 5:02 PM
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Was sarducci banned or something? Did you redo all his transcripts?

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  #3  
Old 12/16/2004, 10:18 PM
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Yeah he/she was.

Why does it say (C) Miss Information at the top of every transcript?

EDIT: Does it have anything to do with this:

Welcome to our newest member, Miss Information!

??

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