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  #1  
Old 07/11/2004, 5:36 PM
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Default The Lillian Verner Game Show (#910)

Lillian Verner Game Show Sketch. (#910)

Simian : Mike Hitchcock
Dale Briskett : Paul Vogt
Gail Sinder : Stephnie Weir
Carol Finney : Mo Collins
Stan Clayton : Ike Barenholtz
Voice : Extra

Voice: You're watching the Game Show Network. Get some new batteries for that remote.

Simian: Hey! Do you want to win decorative, timesaving, or just plain adorable gifts? Then lets play the Lillian Verner Game Show! sponsored by the Lillian Verner catalog. The catalog that pays a monthly visit to your mailbox. It's the source for all of your unique novelty needs. Like the hair-clipping umbrella catcher. An essential tool for the home stylist. WHO LIKES HAIR ON THE FLOOR ? NOT ME! (laughs). And the Talking Talula toilet seat cover-cow. Your house guest will get a real kick when they hear Talula say " Say it don't spray it" and "Thanks for dropping in!" (laughs again) AND HERES THE HOST OF THE LILLIAN VERNER GAME SHOW.... DALE BRISKETT!

Dale: HOLY MOLY... H...Hi everybody!

Simian: HI DALE! (waving)

Dale: HI SIMIAN! That's a nice sweater!

Simian: Thank ya Dale! I got it from my dead uncle!

Dale: Haha... ooo you! HEY...check out my Lillian Verner t-shirt (pointing to t-shirt) it says " You can either agree with me or be wrong!" Now my wife gave me this t-shirt and i dont know why because according to her im always wrong! (goes to simian laughing) Maybe its her t-shirt! (laughs then stops suddenly) I HAVE A WIFE? WHAT... WHAT? (Simian laughing doing hand-gestures) LETS MEET OUR CONTESTANTS! Okay, Gail Sinder, you're a homemaker from Odessa, Texas. Tell us something about yourself.

Gail: Hi. I'm Gail Sinder and i am from Odessa, Texas. (pauses breifely) and I am a homemaker.

Dale: Hmmm.... I wonder where I heard all that before! (Simian laughing) Allright! Carol Finney, you are a homemaker from ??, Wisconson (shows her trying not to laugh... but still does) Why don't you tell us something about yourself that I didnt just say!

Carol: Uh... Okay I'll try. Ummm (laughs a bit) I kinda like to roll nickels. And I have a windmill nightlight collection. And God is my best friend. (shows Simian laughing)

Dale: Well I sure hope your husband comes in a close second!

Carol: Well he would if he'd help me roll nickels!

Dale: Haha. Hey... There's returning champion Stan Clayton! (shows stan with neckbrace on) I hope you're feelin' less nervous today!

Stan: I...I...I am... NOT! Haha. Don't worry though... I'm wearing my Lillian Verner pit-sweat protectors! (raises arms and Carol looks deep into them)

Dale: Nice... Hey I have a question.... When is this game gunna start? (laughs at himself again) (shows Simian looking "puzzled" and laughing) Do ya know Simian?

Simian: I don't know nothin'!

Dale: (laughs) I love when you do that! I love you! I love you! Okay--

Simian: I love you right back sugar! (blows a kiss)

Dale: Oh I caught it! I got it! (pretends to put in pocket) (shows contestants and Carol (Mo) is cracking up) Okay... Okay contestants... hands on your frogs people!

Simian: All of our contestants will croak in their answers with the stylish Lillian Verner frog buzzer. (Stan is modeling buzzer) Perfect for home and office!

Dale: Now... contestants... We will show you the Lillian Verner value product, and you give us the name. Here we go. (shows Simian with what looks like an electronic nail file) (Carol croaks in)

Dale: CAROL, I believe you croaked in Carol!

Carol: Yep. It's the cordless painless timeless nose hair trimmer. (u hear a buzzer signal that its wrong)

Dale: Eeewwww.... No you idiot, no. Yes, Stan!

Stan: It's the pick and pull pimple zapper! (hear a ding meaning its right) (raises arms) (shows Simian trying to zap pimples even though there arent any) Good for you Stan! Now let's put five dollars in Stan's bank. Hey, Gail, WHERE WERE YOU?

Gail: It's just these crazy frogs, they look so life-like I was afraid to hit it.

Dale: Well GET OVER IT KRISPY KREME!

Gail: Okay I will try!

Dale: We're movin' on! Here we go. This is the Lillian Verner t-shirt sayin show-down. We'll show you part of the phrase, you gotta finish it!. "I dont wake up crabby ..." YES... Gail....Gail!

Gail: Uhh.... I know this... uh.... I DIDNT WAKE UP CRABBY! HE WOKE UP BY HIM SELF! (Simian reveals the t-shirt says the same thing!) Oh YES!

Dale: You got it gumdrop. Good for you.. Let's put five dollars in her bank! Now we're gunna' show you a product and you gotta tell us what it says. It is the finger-pullin fartin santa. (Carol croaks in) Yes, Carol.

Carol: Uhh... Merry Fartmas!....

Yale: Yes.

Carol: Jingle Bells Santa Smells.

Dale: Yes.

Carol :(eyes get big and looks confused)

Dale: Come on Carol there's one more saying... Come on Carol

Carol: Uhh... (shakes head to try to think of it) (Dale is saying " cmon' " in the background) CHRISTMAS IS A GAS!

Dale : (buzzer sounds) Well played... But NOOOOO.

Carol: DANGET!

Dale: HEY WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE CAROL! THIS ISN'T JEOPARDY!.... Yes Stan!

Stan: Ahhhh... somethin just came down the chimney! (Simian pulls Santas finger and reveals he says it)

Dale: YOOOOOOOU GOT IT! (buzzer signals end of game) And that means that... the game is over. (shows Simian sad) Oh I know. It went so fast didnt it simian?

Simian: YES! But I'm on Ecstasy!

Dale: Okay, well that is the end of the game, and with ten dollars in his bank, Stan is our winner once again! It has been a terrific show! And from the Lillian Verner family, remember, we may make crappy gifts... but they're cheap! From me and Simian (Simian waving again) Toodle-ooo and Goodnight everybody! (Dale and Simian shake hands with contestants)

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Last edited by MoCollins4Ever; 08/29/2004 at 12:20 PM.
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  #2  
Old 07/11/2004, 6:33 PM
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thanx!!! now im gonna go check out yours!

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  #3  
Old 07/12/2004, 12:31 PM
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SOMEONE PLEASE CHECK THIS ONE OUT!! its my third transcript... sooo PLEASEEEEE just read it! thanx
yall

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  #4  
Old 07/12/2004, 12:42 PM
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WELL DONE!

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  #5  
Old 07/12/2004, 12:59 PM
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thanx! yay u looked at it! finally someone did! lol

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:heart:Ike (Dutch)+ Mike(Cougar) + Ron(Carpenter) = The Hotties Of MadTv!:heart:

I LOVE ABERCROMBIE!!!!!!!!!!!
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  #6  
Old 07/16/2004, 1:24 PM
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this is off topic.... but i got my own AVATARRRRRRR YAYYYY! lol and i made it all myself! woohooooooo lol okay..... ill calm downnnn nowww.

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::* ~ ! MO COLLINS ROX ! ~ *::

:heart:Ike (Dutch)+ Mike(Cougar) + Ron(Carpenter) = The Hotties Of MadTv!:heart:

I LOVE ABERCROMBIE!!!!!!!!!!!
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P.F.F. ~ Puddin' Fans Forever!
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::kiss::* ~ ! MICHAEL MCDONALD ROX ! ~ *::kiss::
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  #7  
Old 07/16/2004, 3:46 PM
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It looks great!!!
I've noticed this with a few transcipts, but It probably wouldn't hurt to use proper punctuation, at the very least Capitalization.
But still, well done!

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  #8  
Old 07/16/2004, 6:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by d_dumgirl
NICE!!!!!

My two favorite cast members!!!!

thanks dani!



and thanx ef! lol good points!

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::* ~ ! MO COLLINS ROX ! ~ *::

:heart:Ike (Dutch)+ Mike(Cougar) + Ron(Carpenter) = The Hotties Of MadTv!:heart:

I LOVE ABERCROMBIE!!!!!!!!!!!
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P.F.F. ~ Puddin' Fans Forever!
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::kiss::* ~ ! MICHAEL MCDONALD ROX ! ~ *::kiss::
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  #9  
Old 07/17/2004, 12:49 AM
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That face Mo pulls when they introduce her is just classic, she looks just like Beaker from The Muppets.


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  #10  
Old 07/31/2004, 6:23 AM
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haha i know! thats why i decided to do this one. its one of my favorites.

quick question......how do i change the words above my avatar? ive tried and i clicked reset and all but it still didnt work. if u can help me then plese pm me the answer. im so confussseeedd.

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::* ~ ! MO COLLINS ROX ! ~ *::

:heart:Ike (Dutch)+ Mike(Cougar) + Ron(Carpenter) = The Hotties Of MadTv!:heart:

I LOVE ABERCROMBIE!!!!!!!!!!!
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P.F.F. ~ Puddin' Fans Forever!
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::kiss::* ~ ! MICHAEL MCDONALD ROX ! ~ *::kiss::
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  #11  
Old 03/11/2006, 4:27 PM
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This one was hilarious! I loved it, Mo Collins, Carol Finney is hilarious!

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