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  #1  
Old 04/10/2004, 3:29 PM
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Default Big John's Shirt and Tie Barn (#319)

Big John's Shirt and Tie Barn (#319)

Big John- Will Sasso
Thelma- Debra Wilson (sings directions)


Big John: Howdy folks! Big John here and my lovely wife, Thelma.

Thelma: Hey!

Big John: You know, alot of folks complain they couldn't find Big John's Shirt Barn. So, we moved lotsa stock and barrels to a brand new, easy to find location. Not only that, we added 200,000 ties to go in service. Tell 'em, Thelma.

Thelma: We got bow ties, white ties, dress ties, size ties, crop ties, you name it.

Big John: You won't find a bigger tie selection anywhere.

Thelma: So come on in, and tie one on.

Big John: Hehe. Good one Thelma. You crack me up. So what're you waiting for? Tell the fine folks how simple it is to get to our new store.

Thelma: (sings)

407 to the 602
And get off at Pawnee Junction
Then bear to the right
Past the flashing red light
Till you see a sign for Route 10

Don't take that
Keepa goin' on straight
Past the little ol' house
Of toothpicks
Then it's two quick lefts
Onto dead skunk road
And then you're halfway there

Then drive right through
Past the old porn theatre
And Jimmy's Jerky Hut
Son't stop for a drink
At the Painted Lady
'Cause the waitress there's a slut

(music stops)

Big John: Won't happen again, Thelma.

Thelma: (sings)

Take the second dirt road
Past the rusty can
And left where they
Found that body
Then park your car
'Cuz it's not too far
And walk down to the dock

Then grab a boat
And let yourself float
For six more
Miles down river
And before the falls
You'll see a branch
That you should grab
A hold of
Then raise your chin
And swim on in to
Big John's Shirt and Tie Barn!!

Big John: It don't get much simpler than that. Just in case you missed something, try 'em again, and remember, Thelma, time is money.

Thelma: (sings fast)

407 to the 602
And get off at Pawnee Junction
Then bear to the right
Past the flashing red light
Till you see a sign for Route 10

Don't take that
Keepa goin' on straight
Past the little ol' house
Of toothpicks
Then it's two quick lefts
Onto dead skunk road
And then you're halfway there

Then drive right through
Past the old porn theatre
And Jimmy's Jerky Hut
Son't stop for a drink
At the Painted Lady
'Cause the waitress there's a slut (slap's John)

Take the second dirt road
Past the rusty can
And left where they
Found that body
Then park your car
'Cuz it's not too far
And walk down to the dock

Then grab a boat
And let yourself float
For six more
Miles down river
And before the falls
You'll see a branch
That you should grab
A hold of
Then raise your chin
And swim on in to
Big John's Shirt and Tie Barn!!

Big John: See y'all later.

Thelma: Bye!

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Last edited by newt007; 07/28/2004 at 2:12 AM.
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  #2  
Old 04/10/2004, 5:52 PM
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lmao...! I saw this one today, and found it very funny. And its true to life too!.. Thats how alot of ad's are down here.

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  #3  
Old 04/11/2004, 12:33 PM
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debra was so good in this sketch

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Old 04/14/2004, 11:37 PM
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She really was. I always laugh my ass off at that one.

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  #5  
Old 04/15/2004, 6:23 AM
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ouch :(
 
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Location: south florida
Posts: 227
it was funny how they put makeup on her to make her look white.. lol.. its funny when they do that period.

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Sorry if this has already been posted!

"I'm sure these words will eminate from my mouth many times tonight; Robin Williams, shut the hell up."

Guests of the Oprah Winfery show stay in a crappy hotel very close to the beautiful one depicted here!

"It's the Southwest Air excessive ass assesment fee."

www.bbfanforums.com - BIG BROTHER!
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  #6  
Old 07/25/2004, 1:39 PM
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My favorite line in this one is "So come on in and tie one on!" (not part of the directions, part of the talking that comes before).

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  #7  
Old 07/25/2004, 3:13 PM
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don't eat another nut...
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Default Re: Big John's Shirt and Tie Barn (#319)

Quote:
Originally posted by newt007

Son't stop for a drink
*Don't stop for a drink

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I Swear To God I'm Not Insane!

"The world needs humour like it needs love" ~ Debra Wilson

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  #8  
Old 11/29/2004, 9:12 PM
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Unbeleiveable. You must have watched the sketch 1000 times to get all that.
Good job!
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  #9  
Old 11/29/2004, 9:27 PM
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The words to the song are subtitled at the bottom of the screen, like one of those Disney sing-a-long videos.

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