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Old 10/15/2003, 6:30 PM
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Default Episode S01E14 (Aired 1996-02-17)

Mary Causes a Ruckus in New Orleans #1
The whole cast is in New Orleans for Marti Gras. Mary Scheer is picking fights with frat boys in the street from the balcony. She then asks a guy to come up to the room so she can put him out of his misery. Mary thinks the cast is going to back her up, but instead they throw her off the balcony to avoid the confrontation with the frat boys.

Credits: Artie Lange (Himself), Orlando Jones (Himself), Debra Wilson (Herself), David Herman (Himself), Nicole Sullivan (Herself), Phil LaMarr (Himself), Mary Scheer (Herself), Bryan Callen (Himself)

Happy News Network
It's the Happy News Network, the network that only tells the good sides of the stories, like when a plane explodes midair, it's not the passengers on the plane that are the story, it's the 16 passengers that were bumped from the flight. Other stories include, the child that fell down the well, which will bring tourist dollars to the city, the Unabomber helping the overpopulation problem by blowing up the Houston Astrodome, filled most likely with alcoholics, and wife beaters, and a freak lightening storm which struck Philadelphia's skid row, and eliminated it's homeless problem.

Credits: Phil LaMarr (Hal Hibley), Mary Scheer (Sally Gibbs), David Herman (Rory Halick)

Michael Jackson Infomercial
Michael Jackson (Phil LaMarr) has come out to promote his new video tape Maintain the Fame. A video that will teach how to become a celebrity, because getting famous is one thing, but maintaining that fame even after not performing in years, that is the true definition of a celebrity. Maintain the Fame teaches the 3 things everyone needs to know in order to maintain the fame. Step 1. Become and international superstar, Step 2. Send for the video, and Step 3. To stay a star -- Be bizarre!

Wannabe Grilling-Featuring Brian Austin Green
2 kids, Lisa (Nicole Sullivan), and Kyle (David Herman) are picked up under the Wannabe Act. The Wannabe Act is a law that picks up over privileged, rich white kids, who are trying to act like oppressed black kids. The 2 kids give there interrogator (Orlando Jones) there acting black business, so the interrogator has to bring out the big guns. The forces Wannabe extraordinaire, White Chocolate (Brian Austin Green). As he starts busting down his rhymes, the kids are getting scared. White use to hang out by the same street corner that they were caught at. Listening to The Beastie Boys, Vanilla Ice, and scalping Mark E Mark tickets. As he gets to his big performance, which is filled with bad dancing, and rhymes like he's got a black brotha in him, and that his mom took him to his first drive by. As he ends, Kyle says that White is "out of his gord". Not wanting to become like White, Lisa and Kyle plead to the interrogator, asking him what they can do to reverse the effects. The interrogator gives them a copy of Hootie and the Blowfish, and tells them to listen to every track on it.

Credits: Nicole Sullivan (Lisa), David Herman (Kyle), Orlando Jones (The Interrogator), Brian Green (White Chocolate)

Rude Lady
A woman (Mary Scheer) is on a plane. She is being extremely rude to everyone on the plane. Spraying her strong perfume everywhere, stealing a man’s blanket, and adding pain to the man in front of her, who already has a neck brace. All of a sudden, the plane starts smoke, the oxygen mask drop, and the plane starts to go down. In what has to be a horrible ironic twist, the lady is the only one that survives, and she stays alive by eating the other passengers, still complaining about the unsatisfactory taste of the passengers to no one, showing that she is a truly soulless person.

Credits: Bryan Callen (Passenger #1), David Herman (Passenger #2), Mary Scheer (Rude Lady), Nicole Sullivan (Stewardess)

Spy Vs Spy-Hair Dryer **Animation**
White Spy is combing his hair in his bathroom. Black Spy grabs a fan and puts it above his bathroom door, and sneaks the comb out when he is leaving. When White Spy comes out, the fan ruins his hair. He goes back into the bathroom to find a hair dryer there all of a sudden, but when he turns it on, it turns out that the hair dryer is actually a gun, that shoots White Spy in the face.

Davey and The Son of Goliath *Claymation*
Davey is going to go clean the sceptic tank at his school. He is waiting by the bus, when is dog Goliath appears. He gives Davey a gun, and tells him that he has to cleanse the city. After shooting a couple making out in a car, Goliath still wants Davey to go out and cleanse the city. After killing 25 people, Davey asks why Goliath isn't satisfied yet, he says that he is a figment of Davey's imagination, and that Goliath is an excuse so Davey can fulfill his flaming homicidal acts. Davey never thought of it that way, and continues to shoots couples making out in vehicles. One day, the police break into the house, looking for Davey. They arrest him for being the Son of Goliath, and send him to jail. In jail Goliath appears, but Davey feels he doesn't have to listen to Goliath anymore, because he found God, but Goliath reminds Davey that God spelled backwards is dog. He then tells Davey that it's now time to cleanse the prison.

The Instigator
2 men talk about what they thought about the movie Casino. As they playfully talk about it, Rory (Bryan Callen) there friend tells them not to "go there", and that "everything's going to be fine". His friends don't understand why he is making this more of a big deal than it should be, but he seems to want to get an argument out of the two. As they try to explain what they are talking about one of them (David Herman) he tells the other friend (Orlando Jones) to shut up, the friend then tells him not to tell him to shut up, and all of a sudden, they are in an actual fight. Rory tells them to not turn this into a "black thing". As they start to yell at each other, they are getting pissed off, and as Rory tries to help, they say they don't want his help, and he leaves saying "fine, I tried". After he leaves, the 2 men realize that Rory was instigating the fighting when it was really nothing. As they get back to the conversation about the movie, and the guy asks what the other guy meant by Casino being too long. He then thinks that it's the other guy bringing on the "black crap" again.

Credits: Bryan Callen (Rory), David Herman (Man #1), Orlando Jones (Man #2)

Sports Injury
A man Chuck Johnson (Artie Lange) covered in the body paint all over his torso of his favourite teams colours and a wig, comes into the doctor’s office complaining of being tired of the time, and being cold from the waste up. After some tests and evaluations, the doctor (Orlando Jones) confirms with Chuck that he is suffering from a bad case of Asshole that has unfortunately spread too far. If he had just come to him at the beginning of the season, it probably could have been stopped.

Credits: Orlando Jones (Doctor), Artie Lange (Chuck Johnson)

Coffee House
A man, Nick (Bryan Callen) has something really important to say to his girlfriend, Paula (Nicole Sullivan), at a nearby coffee shop. He wants to ask her to move in with him, but he is extremely nervous. To counteract his nervousness over what he is about to ask, he starts downing coffees until he is super hyper. Paula apparently also has something to tell Nick also, she wants to tell Nick that she no longer wants to be with him, but Nick doesn't want to hear it, instead blocking what she is trying to say by saying all the things he has in his apartment, and that he just painted the walls pink with little Scottie dogs, because she like Scottie dogs. She then leaves, telling him that their relationship is over.

Credits: Bryan Callen (Nick), Nicole Sullivan (Paula)

Don Martin-Beach Ball Boy **Animation**
A man washes up on shore. He needs mouth to mouth resuscitation. A muscular man then runs up to perform it, but he blows in too much, and turns the man into a volleyball for a game.

Good Cop Bad Cop
2 cops are interrogating Miles (Orlando Jones), a man who was found with 2 kilos, and an illegal hand gun in his car. Miles however, doesn't want to talk. He's more than fine waiting for his lawyer to bring him his get out of jail free card. As Miles shows discontent for the officers, he tells them that he saw their good cop, bad cop routine better on Nick at Nite. The officers are starting to crack. They want to get something on Miles. So they perform other cops, like confused cop nauseas cop, opera cop werewolf cop, and Jackie Gleason cop Ricardo Montalbán cop, among others. They then decide to talk as themselves, but Miles sees this as just "stupid cop, cop who's on the tape". The cops then start to beat him, and Miles tells them that he better not see them on the outside.

Credits: David Herman (Bad Cop), Artie Lange (Good Cop), Orlando Jones (Miles)

All About Whoopi-Featuring Whoopi Goldberg
Whoopi Goldberg is doing her makeup when a fan, Eve (Tammi Cubilette) walks into her dressing room, who says she looks exactly like her. Eve says that she wants to be Whoopi, so Whoopi grants her the wish. The first thing she has to do is handle a crazed fan (Artie Lange) just like her. The fan loves her, and says that he's going to marry her because "Jesus said so", and that he has a hollowed out area under a school that they can live in. As Eve runs out, Whoopi tells him to chase after her.

Credits: Whoopi Goldberg (Herself), Tammi Cubilette (Eve) Artie Lange (Crazed Fan)

Don Martin-Tee Pee guy **Animation**
An entire tribe, which was huddled together in one tee pee, emerges after a large rain storm.

UBS Wake
The head of UBS deliveries, Mr. O'Malley died of a heart attack at 50. At his wake, his wife, Ann O'Malley (Nicole Sullivan) said that something at work just seemed to keep getting to him. That's when Jaq (Phil LaMarr) comes in with a flower delivery. Jaq traded positions with a guy who usually delivers the flowers so that he could go and pay his last respects to Mr. O'Malley. As he pays his respects, he tells him that he got the overseas packages done on time, and that one of the trucks has a lazy clutch that he mentioned to him earlier, that still hasn't been fixed. Jaq then goes to Ms. Barry (Debra Wilson), a high commanding person at UBS, and starts to ask her about the chances of him moving up in the company. He then offers to take O'Malley to his final resting place in his truck. He would need to put in about 500 Styrofoam peanuts to keep him from bouncing around, but it will all work. All he needs is some duck tape to keep the lid close. Barry says that if Jaq does not leave right at that moment, he will be fired. Jaq understands this very well, and leaves, but not before saying to O'Malley "See you later Mr. O'Malley. Hopefully a whole lot later".

Credits: Nicole Sullivan (Ann O'Malley), Debra Wilson (Barry), Phil LaMarr (Jaq)

Odds and Evens: The Movie
From the producers of Rock, Paper, Scissors, comes Dennis Hopper, and Clint Eastwood in Odds and Evens.

Disruptive Waitress
A man, Jamie (Artie Lange) is trying to propose to his girlfriend, Ellen (Mary Scheer) at a restaurant, Marshaus, but every time he gets close to doing it, the waitress (Nicole Sullivan) keeps interrupting them by doing things like topping off there already filled water glasses, and asking questions like "Is there a Sung Ye Chang at this table", and "Suck my what" when she thinks she hears them calling her. As Jamie does a quick proposal before the waitress comes back, with Ellen saying yes, they decide now that they are ready to order, but now the waitress won't even acknowledge them. When they yell for her, she angrily tells them "I only have 2 hands".

Credits: Artie Lange (Jamie), Mary Scheer (Ellen), Nicole Sullivan (Waitress)

Mary Causes a Ruckus in New Orleans #2
The cast closes the show from the streets of New Orleans, when Mary comes falling down to the streets after being thrown off the balcony by the frat boys.

Credits: Artie Lange (Himself), Debra Wilson (Herself), Orlando Jones (Himself), Bryan Callen (Himself), Phil LaMarr (Himself), Nicole Sullivan (Herself), David Herman (Himself), Mary Scheer (Herself)


  • Bryan Callen (3A/2S/0W/0AF)
  • David Herman (3A/4S/0W/0AF)
  • Orlando Jones (4A/2S/0W/0AF)
  • Phil LaMarr (2A/3S/0W/0AF)
  • Artie Lange (2A/4S/0W/0AF)
  • Mary Scheer (2A/3S/0W/0AF)
  • Nicole Sullivan (5A/2S/0W/0AF)
  • Debra Wilson (3A/0S/0W/0AF)

Special Appearances, and Co-Starring:
  • Brian Green (0A/1S/0W/0AF)
  • Whoopi Goldberg (0A/1S/0W/0AF)
  • Tammi Cubilette (0A/1S/0W/0AF)


  • (A)ppearance Credit
  • (S)tarring Credit
  • (W)riting Credit
  • Non-Speaking Credit
  • (A)rchival (F)ootage Credit

Last edited by tvmanismadformad; 07/05/2009 at 3:10 AM.
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Old 06/12/2004, 8:13 PM
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This is one of the worst episodes I have ever seen. As Mad Dog would say, thumbs down.

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Old 06/12/2004, 8:47 PM
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This is what Rob the Reviewer had to say about this episode:

Overall - An improvement over the previous episode. And while All About Whoopi pretty much bombed (which is strange for old Mad TV), the rest of the material was definitely strong enough to make up for it. Besides those two skits, everything was consistently funny, and Artie Lange's return really helped (especially in Sports Injury and Good Cop/Bad Cop). A very strong episode. 9/10
It's funny how the views of Old school MADtv and new school MADtv differ.

What happened to Andrae?
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Old 06/24/2009, 4:56 AM
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Mary Causes a Ruckus in New Orleans #1: I find it odd that the cast went to New Orleans for 4 reasons. 1. Why would Artie's first episode back be when the entire crew is going to New Orleans for MARTI GRAS. ONE OF THE BIGGEST DRINKING FESTIVALS IN THE WORLD! 2. Wouldn't going to New Orleans be a bad thing, because people will associate it to the time SNL went to New Orleans in one of there first few years. 3. How would the show have all that money to send the crew there. 4. Why would they send the whole cast to New Orleans for 2 short segments? Anyway, the opening was a decent opening, but not worth the trip, and a little bit of a waste of money.

Happy News Network: I found this one so funny, because only a few days ago my dad was talking about a story he heard in which a guy, after finding out that people don't like to hear bad news in his city had his radio station only perform nice happy news. What a coincidence that this sketch would be here! My favouite story out of these is the one about the 16 passengers that were bumped off a plane that exploded in mid air.

Michael Jackson Infomercial: Funny, but not as funny as future Michael Jackson sketches would be. The highlight was Phil first coming out as Michael, and seeing the cast reaction.

Wannabe Grilling-Featuring Brian Austin Green: This one was pretty funny, despite the fact that I have no idea who Brian Green is. The highlight was Lisa and Kyle talking about things like how they have been oppressed by the white man, and them also talking about Martin Luther X. I also love Nicole's look, with the bright clothing and the clock.

Rude Lady: This one was more annoying than funny, and isn't this more like the Vancome Lady anyway. It didn't work. The highlight was her calling David (who is in a neck brace) a bastard, and then shoving his head down.

Spy Vs Spy-Hair Dryer **Animation**: This one was a little too complicated, and didn't make a lot of sense. Would White Spy think it was odd that a fan was above his door, his comb disappeared, and a blow dryer was all of a sudden there?

Davey and The Son of Goliath *Claymation*: Funny, but I'm not that big of a fan of the claymation animation stuff, although this one is famous, because since the Ragin Rudolf sketch didn't really have clay in it, this was the first claymation on MADtv.

The Instigator: Ok. The highlight was when Rory got them riled up enough to the point where when he asks if he can help them, they say no, and he says "fine, I tried".

Sports Injury: Artie says that this was his most favourite sketch, and it was good, but it was a little too short, and could have been funnier. The highlight was Chuck describing his symptoms, which is all the symptoms of Sports fan/Asshole syndrome.

Coffee House: This was really an omen to the future Stan McNeil sketch, although those ones were much better, plus this one kind of ended abruptly. The highlight was Bryan, who really took to the role well, and really kept up the hyper attitude.

Don Martin-Beach Ball Boy **Animation**: One of the bad Don Martin's, but I think Debra's voice was in this one. This was the first time I think ever since I've heard any of the main casts voices in one of these.

Good Cop Bad Cop: Pretty funny. The highlight was when the police officers start talking as themselves, and Miles sees this as stupid cop, and cop who's on the take.

All About Whoopi-Featuring Whoopi Goldberg: This one really bombed. I can't believe they got Whoopi Goldberg, the show first real celebrity, and they wasted it on this. I don't know why they got an extra to play the main role for a guest star like Whoopi. Why not use Debra, who did Whoopi twice already by this point. If Artie wasn't in this, and it was shown to people, I honestly don't think the average fan would have guessed that it was a MADtv sketch.

Don Martin-Tee Pee guy **Animation**: Nothing, and kind of a waste of money for something that probably wasn't even half a minute.

UBS Wake: UBS Guy was like the second best character introduced in this season, after the Vancome Lady. This sketch was great. The highlight was the end when Jaq said "See you later Mr. O'Malley. Hopefully a whole lot later", and then Ann just started crying.

Odds and Evens: The Movie: Pointless, and not that good. They really should stop doing these kind of things.

Disruptive Waitress: I really did like Nicole in this one. The highlight was when she came back saying "suck my what?", even when they didn't say anything, and then turning away with a great look on her face.

Mary Causes a Ruckus in New Orleans #2: Again, they really could have done more with this setting. The highlight was Artie going up to the camera and saying that he has the sexiest inner thighs on TV.

Out of 90 stars, this episode got 48 stars. That's a C- rating, but honestly, this episode wasn't that bad. The Whoopi sketch was really bad, and the New Orleans theme wasn't well planned out, but everything else (except for the animation) was satisfactory. A decent episode overall.


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