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Old 12/16/2004, 3:18 PM
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Default UBS Guy: Thanksgiving Monologue (#409)

© Miss Information

Sketch Length: 0:52
Original Airdate: 11.21.98

Phil LaMarr ... UBS Guy: Jaq

(Jaq runs onto the MADtv stage in his UBS uniform as the audience cheers in recognition of the recurring character.)

Jaq: Hi, I'm Jaq. MADtv asked me to come out here to talk to you about what Thanksgiving means to me. And I thought 'cool.' And then I thought 'weird.' I mean, doesn't Thanksgiving mean the same thing to everybody? I mean, it's like, you know 'Thanksgiving.' You know, you like, eat with your family, and be like all thankful. I mean, the way you are when somebody gives you something. Whoa, I guess that' where they get the name. I mean, the only thing is you don't say thanks before somebody gives you something. It's not like 'thanks' and then 'giving.' You know, it's like 'giving' and then 'thanks,' you know? Although, I guess even if it was 'thanks' and then 'giving,' I mean, you still have to say thanks afterwards. Be like 'thanks,' 'giving,' 'thanks.' It's kind of a long name for a holiday. Either way it's cool 'cause there's always pie. See ya!

(The audience cheers as Jaq waves goodbye and runs of the MADtv stage.)

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