[MADtv] Red Carpet: Mo & Paul at the Emmys (#903)

[Pizzotty]

Mad tv at the Emmy’s (#903)

Mo as herself
Paul as himself
Patricia Heaton
Simon Cowell,
Ellen Degeneres,
Dakota Fanning,
Jennifer Aniston,
John Mahoney,
David Schwimmer,
Jeff Probst,
Wanda Sykes,
Kim Cattrall,
Courtney Cox-Arquette,
David Arquette,
Jim Belushi

~Scene: Red carpet at the Emmy’s~



Mo: Hey Mad tv we are at the

Mo and Paul: Emmy’s.

Mo: Here we are, were at the Red Carpet and there sure a lot of people.

Paul: Mo and Paul…together again. We’re at the Red Carpet and I’m wearing the Red Carpet. (Reveals Paul in a red velvet coat)



(Cuts to Mo and Paul talking to Patricia Heaton)



Paul: My you look stunning.

Patricia: Oh well that’s very nice of you. Thank you very much.

Paul: And of course you’re nominated tonight.

Patricia: Yes I am.

Paul: And when you win, cause you will, where are you going to put the award?

Patricia: Uh…maybe next to the other two I have.

Paul: I love it! I love it! Stuff in their face! Shove it in their face! I would.

(Cuts to Mo and Paul talking to Simon Cowell)



Paul: You like my coat don’t you Simon?

Simon: I actually don’t.

Paul: You love it.

Simon: I hate it.

Paul: You’re a liar.

Simon: I’m not a liar.

Paul: (Singing Opera style) I know you like it Simon.

Mo: But you do think I look pretty terrific right?

Simon: Yeah you look fabulous.

Mo: SEE! AHAHAHAHAHA I am the new American Idol!

Simon: No you’re not.

(Cuts to Paul trying to get attention from Mo)



Paul: There’s Mo Collins. Mo Collins! Mo Collins! (Mo gives him the hold up) She’s so busy. Mo! Mo! Mo can we talk to you? (Mo gives him the hold up again)

(Cuts to Paul and Mo talking to Ellen Degeneres)



Paul: Ellen Degeneres. Hi. We’re from Mad tv.

Ellen: Hey. How are ya?

Paul: Your shows great.

Ellen: Thank you very much, your show’s great too.

Mo: You don’t wanna in. You want me to grab your leg and keep you out here?

Ellen: Oh would you.

(Mo gets down on the ground and grabs Ellen’s leg.)

Paul: Oh she’s hooked on to Ellen.

(Cuts to Mo and Paul talking)

Mo: Ellen took me on a ride and I liked it.

(Cuts to Mo and Paul talking to Dakota Fanning)



Paul: You are like the size of my thigh.

Dakota: Oh well thank you.

(Cuts to Jennifer Anniston walking by and Mo and Paul trying to get her to come over)



Mo: Jennifer!

Paul: Jennifer.

Mo: Oh my God, Jennifer.

Paul: We want Jennifer.

Mo: Come say hi. Jennifer. Jennifer…what? Lunch next week? (Jennifer keeps on walking)

(Cuts to Mo and Paul talking to John Mahoney)



Paul: Hey you’re nominated right?

John: Uh-huh.

Paul: How many of these things have you won?

John: I haven’t won any, yeah this is my…

Paul: What! No! No!

Mo: Is there anyone you want us to go after?

John: David Hyde Pierce. Break his legs for me.

Paul: Yeah thanks. This is your year!

(Cuts to Paul and Mo motioning for David Schwimmer to come and talk to them)



Paul: Come here David.

Mo: David Schwimmer! David Schwimmer! David Schwimmer! DAAAAVID! DAAAVID! DAVID! I couldn’t yell any louder, and I think I just peed a little.

(Cuts to Mo and Paul talking to Jeff Probst)



Jeff: I’m not wearing any underwear. How about you?

Mo: No.

Paul: Uh I am wearing underwear that matches this. (Points to his red velvet coat) So I’m loosing weight everywhere.

Jeff: And you’re chaffing, cause you’re sweating down there.

Mo: Ooooh, that’s sad.

(Cuts to Mo and Paul talking to Wanda Sykes)



Wanda: This just a big ass kissing fest. That’s all this is.

Mo: What kind of lipstick do you wear for that?

Wanda: What? What? (Paul sniffs Wanda’s ass)

Mo: What kind of lipstick do you wear for ass kissing around here?

Wanda: Uh you know what, Mack is really good for ass kissing.

Mo: Mack smacking them.

Wanda: Oh yeah. You wanna ass kiss you Mack it up.

(Cuts to Paul motioning for Kim Cattrell to talk to them)



Paul: Kim Cattrell. Kim Cattrall. Mad tv.

Kim: Hi Mad tv.

Paul: Kim and I dated for a very short time.

(Cuts to Mo motioning for Courtney Cox to come and talk to them)



Mo: Courtney Mad tv! You look gorgeous. You’re the only “Friend” to come and say hello to us.

Courtney: Well that’s not right. They’re in a hurry.

David: (David Arquette interrupts) Hey don’t talk to them! (tries to walk off)



Mo: (Grabs David) You come here! You come here and talk to me! Legitimize me.

David: You people are crazy. Since when did you like do real reporting? Look at this guy. (points to Paul)

Mo: This is real reporting. (David starts rubbing on Paul’s coat) This is crazy talking to crazy here.

(Cuts Mo talking to Jim Belushi)



Mo: Oh hi Jim Belushi. How are you?

Jim: Good. It’s good to see you.

Mo: It’s good to see you too. It’s been awhile. Um…

Jim: Oh I’ve never seen you.

Mo: Ooooooooh

(David Arquette walks back over)

David: Hey what’s up with dissing me for Jim Belushi?

Jim: Hey, hey, hey.

David: What are you doing? You were talking to me. (Jim pushes David)

Mo: (trying to break it up) Hey! Hey! You’re both pretty. You’re both pretty.



(Cuts to Mo and Paul at the front of the red carpet again)

Paul: I think I’ve lost about sixty pounds.

Mo: If you mention that jacket one more time…

Paul: It’s a nice jacket, it’s a nice jacket.

Mo: I’m gonna punch you in what is left of your gut. (Mo and Paul start fighting and fall down to the ground and start rolling on top of each other)

[Scene Fade]

[Scorpiogrrl4405]

Wooooooo! My 2nd favorite Red Carpet Segment......Good job Potty!