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Old 12/20/2005, 11:23 AM
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Default Almost Famous 2: Boy Meets Bizkit (#619)

Voiceover - Andrew Daly
William Miller - Patrick Fugit
Fred Durst - Will Sasso
Wes Borland - Christian Duguay
Waiter- Aries Spears
Girl - Debra Wilson

Voiceover: From the people who brought you Almost FamousÖ

(William picks up the phone)

William: Hello. Hi, Rolling Stone. Another assignment? Any band I want? Well thatís easy. I wanna go on tour with Limp Bizkit!ÖWh-why are you laughingÖ?

Voiceover: Itís Almost Famous 2: Boy Meets Bizkit.

(Limp Bizkit is leaving the stage after the show and William is waiting in the backstage)

William: Mr. Durst? Hi, can I ask you couple of questions.

(Fred walks by)

William: Iím William Miller from Rolling Stone magazine.

(Fred rushes back)

Fred: Rolling Stone magazine?! Yo, letís talk!

William: Right now?

Fred: Yeah, man, you got it! Wassup?!

William: Oh, last time I tried to do it took forever.

Fred: Not with me man. If youíre down for spreading the word of Durst, then Iím down tha job!

(Fred tries to do handslaps and he hugs William)

(Cut to inside Limp Bizkitís backstage room)

Fred: Then I got out of primary school, which was dope! Yo and then I got into junior high, which was super fly dope!

William: Alright, okayÖ If we could pass forward a few years---

Fred: Yo and then at super fly junior high, yo, that was dope! Because of mrs Johnsonís seven grade English class where I met and started imitating my first real black person, yo, that was coolÖ Hey, yo, thereís one right now!

(Fred starts walking towards the waiter)

Fred: Yo, wassup! Wassup, my brother, wassup!?! Wassup, yo! Oh, wassup, man! Wassup?!

Waiter: Hello, who youíre doing.

Fred: Yo.

(Fred hits his chest)

Fred: Feel your pain, yo, feel your pain.

Waiter: Alright, thatís nice. Sign for this?

(Fred takes waiterís pencil and bill, throws them on the floor and starts hugging and slapping him)

Fred: Show me some love, man! Wassup!? Wassup, man!

(Cut to Fred doing some stupid brake dance moves)

Fred: Alright, yoyoyo! Everybody, check this out! William Miller, check this out! Ready?

(Fred ďbrakesĒ on some pizza boxes)

(William is on the phone)

William: Hi, Rolling Stone? This is William Miller. Listen, I think I changed my mind. Could I interview Radiohead instead? Oh, how about Moby? Aerosmith? I take anybody, please, IÖ The Backstreet Boys?

(William is interviewing Limp Bizkitís guitarist Wes Borland)

William: So, is there a reason you dress like this.

Wes: Fred likes me to dress up in different outfits, kinda like KISS. Only lamer.

William: Why you do it?

Wes: ĎCause Iím a whore for money.

(Fred walks in carrying a tiger suit)

Fred: Yo, I changed my mind. Yo, check this out! Next tour I want you to dress up like a tiger, yo! Youíre gonna be the super, most illest, most dopest, most stupidest guitar playing tiger ever, yo! Now get in the ghetto, bizkit!

Wes: Iím interviewing with---

Fred: NOW!!!

(William is interviewing Fred)

Fred: Yo, you know what Iím saying. Thatís what Iím trying to get out there, itís all about me, you know. Iím trying to get me out there for the people, for the masses, you know what Iím saying. My way or the highway, you know what I mean, thatís what Iím talking.

(A girl walks by and Fred slaps her on the butt)

Fred: Wassup?! Hey, yo, you ainít gonna pass by without giving me some love, what up, sugar, gimme some love!

Girl: No! Somebody said you had a pinball machine in the bathroom.

Fred: Pinball machine in the bathroom? Lemme tell you something, girl, you ainít need no pinball. You got the balls right here, yo.

Fred: The balls have a rhyme. Bizkit balls! Big Daddy Durst balls! Get it, get it, balls, balls!? You know what Iím saying, get my balls all up in here!

(William is on the phone)

William: Hey, mom. Could you come pick me up?

(Fred rushes to the phone and shouts: )

Fred: Holy macaroni!

(Fred slams the phone down and does that idiotic Big Daddy Durst laugh)

(Cut to Williamís home)

Voiceover: Almost Famous 2: Boy Meets Bizkit. The tour that never endsÖ

(Fred is knocking Williamís window)

William: Go away! Your article was printed three months ago.

Fred: Yo, wassup, William! Yo, I got some new lyrics to drop on you word, check this out!

Fred: Yo, Iím right here at your door
Iím looking through the glass to the floor
And you think I wonít stop---

William: LEAVE ME ALONE! Go away!

(William walks off and Fred keeps rapping)

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