[MADtv] Lando Calrissian's Exotic Massage (#314)

[blackwind]

Performers:
Aries Spears - Lando Calrissian
Nicole Sullivan - Bambi

---

Lando: Hey Star Wars fans, I'm actor Billy Dee Williams, but you know me better as...

*Lando tosses his cape aside*

Lando: ...Lando Calrissian! Seriously... Star Wars has been pretty darn good to me, but I've got something in my life right now that's treating me a whole lot better. I am talking, of course, about the fantastic world of exotic massage!

*Bambi enters the room*

Lando: Now whoa, whoa -- I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Lando, are you talking about what I *think* you're talking about?" I sure am. It's fantastic! You get all the benefits of a regular therapeutic massage, plus, you get to have your pancake flipped.

*Bambi begins massaging*

Lando: Ohh! Bambi, that's great! Now I'm hooked. Now you're asking yourself, "How can I get involved in Lando Calrissian's World of Exotic Massage?" It's easy! All you have to do is send me, Lando Calrissian... just send me your money, and then I go out and have myself an exotic massage. Wow... she smells like white chocolate! Think about it -- in my movies, I've given you folks a great deal of pleasure over the years, and now it's time for some payback! Now, here comes the exotic part!

*Bambi squirts lotion on her hands*

Lando: Now remember, a real Star Wars fan wouldn't let ol' Lando go out and pay for this himself. No sir! Real Star Wars fan would say, "Lando! The next one's on me." Thanks in advance, and now if you'll excuse me...

*Lando looks at Bambi*

Lando: ...it's time to feel the force.

Announcer: Send your check or money order to Lando Calrissian's Amazing World of Exotic Massage, P.O. Box XXX, Van Nuys, CA, 91405.

Lando: Ohhhh, YES! Hope there's a sequel...