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Old 10/14/2004, 3:24 AM
elscorcho Male elscorcho is offline
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Default Cloret: Cloret meets Countess Vaughn: United Airlines (#821)

Cloret: Debra Wilson
Customer: Paul Vogt
Countess Vaughn: herself

(scene opens with Cloret and a customer. she is working at United Airlines.)

Customer: Well i hope you're happy...because of you, i missed my plane!

Cloret: Well i hope YOU happy...because of you cinnabon stays in business...

Customer: This is the last time i will ever fly this airline!

Cloret: (rolls her eyes and speaks loudly into a microphone) I'm sorry to have disappointed such a valuable customer. We strive to provide quality service to each and ev........ain't you gone yet?

(Customer walks away and in walks Countess Vaughn, the star of UPN's sitcom "The Parkers")

Countess Vaughn: Excuse me...can you help me? Is this the flight to Cleveland?

Cloret (speaks directly into microphone): My name is Cloret and it would be my pleasure to be your gate agent this afternoon....now whatchu want??

C.V.: Well...there's nobody at the ticket counter to check in my bag....the place was emptier than a Bobby Brown concert.....(laughs loud and obnoxiously)

Cloret: (mocks her with exaggerated fake laughter)

C.V.: So you can check me in here? I'm supposed to be on that plane.

Cloret: And i'm supposed to be on Wellbutrin, but those psychological stabilizers made me too aggessive with my kids...

C.V.: So what are you takin now? Xanax, Valium, and horse tranquillizers??

Cloret: No...i had some coffee....and some red bull cuz it gives you wings...(flaps her arms like wings)

C.V. Oh...good to know...good to know...here's my ticket (hands Cloret a plane ticket)

Cloret: (opens ticket and reads) First class to Cleveland? Isn't that an oxy-motrin??

C.V.: I believe the word is oxy-moron.

Cloret: I ain't no moron! shoot....you the moron....payin $4,000 extra for a hot washcloth and Kangaroo Jack!! (continues to read ticket) Who the hell is Countless Va John??

C.V.: Me...and actually it's Countess Vaughn.

Cloret: Why your name sound familiar?

C.V. Oh, honey, i'm an actress, you might have seen me on t.v. or something.

Cloret: No I ain't never seen you on no t.v....

C.V. I'm on The Parkers...it's on UPN.

Cloret: You on UPN?? That's why i ain't never seen you.

C.V. Well you work for United Airlines, that explains why you're not on UPN!!

Cloret: (gives a long angry stare and yells into the microphone) PLEASE PROCEED TO SECURITY!!!!!

C.V.: (moves her bag from the counter to the table next to the counter)

Cloret: (clips a nametag to her vest and yells into the microphone) OWWWW MY NIPPLE!!!! (walks to the table where C.V.'s bag is sitting) Could you open your bag please!!

(C.V. opens her bag and Cloret begins to go through it and picks out an article of clothing)

Cloret: Where you get that from? Mervyn's??? (C.V. makes a face) You're free to go over to gate 5.

(C.V. walks towards gate 5 and Cloret walks in front of her in the same direction)

C.V.: Oh please don't tell me you're gonna fly the plane now!!

Cloret: (puts on a captain's hat) Well i ain't gonna fly the plane now, i need me a couple of cocktails first. (pulls out a flask and takes a drink) Come on girl, let's get our groove on!! (walks out of the scene)

C.V. (to herself) I wonder if my ride is still here...(walks towards the entrance from where she came) QUEEN LATIFAH!!!

Last edited by elscorcho; 11/01/2004 at 11:48 PM.
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Old 11/17/2008, 8:34 PM
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nicoleparkerfan8 Female nicoleparkerfan8 is offline
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