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Old 05/06/2006, 12:01 AM
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Default Never-Ending Conga Line (#1117)

Never-Ending Conga Line (#1117)

Nicole Parker..................…..Bride/Cindy
Ike Barinholtz..................….Groom
Frank Caliendo....................DJ Funky Fresh/Moon Realtor
Crista Flanagan...................Bridesmaid
Bobby Lee..........................Photographer
Michael McDonald.................(no name) referred to as Michael
Nicole Randal Johnson.........(no name) referred to as Nicole RJ
Keegan-Michael Key............(no name) referred to as Keegan
Arden Myrin.......................(no name) referred to as Arden
Jordan Peele......................(no name) referred to as Jordan
Daniele Gaither...................(no name) referred to as Daniele



A wedding reception is going on and the guests are dancing and clapping to “Hey Mad” (the musical parody of the Outkast song “Hey Yeah” featured in episode #200)

DJ Funky Fresh: Hey, Yo! Ready to raise the roof at the hard-down Best Western Banquet Hall?!

Everyone cheers.

DJ Funky Fresh: Here’s the banana hat, hard knock wedding party ready to bust… a… move?!

Everyone cheers again.

DJ Funky Fresh: Yo, yo, yo, yo! I’m checkin’ out my watch, and you know what time it is?

Everyone: What?

DJ Funky Fresh: It’s conga time!

Everyone cheers.

Bride: Go, go, go, go, go!

Everyone starts up the conga line.

Groom: Father McPhely, get over here! Come on!

The groom mentions the Father to join them, which he does.

Arden: Where are we going?

Jordan: Hah, I don’t know! Not the terrace, this is crazy! (laughs)

The conga line enters a men’s bathroom, and Michael is seen at a urinal.

Michael: What? What the hell?

Groom: Hey, zip up and join us!

Bride: Yeah! Come on!

Michael joins the conga line and the line exits the Banquet Hall.

Bride: Where are we going to go?

Jordan: Hey, who’s in charge here?

Bridesmaid: I don’t have my coat on!

The conga line is seen walking on the sit walk, chanting “Hey!” rhythmically.

Daniele: Seriously, where are we going?

Photographer: Yeah, I don’t see the hotel anymore!

Keegan: This neighborhood looks a little dicey!

Nicole RJ: I’m not getting any cell reception!

Michael: The street signs aren’t in English anymore!

Cuts to shot of signs in foreign language and then fades into a non-specified time later on.

Nicole RJ: I can’t see the front of the line… or the back of the line! I’m so tired. I think I’m gonna let go.

Michael: No! You can’t let go! You let go of the conga line now and it’ll break apart and what’ll happen to me, huh? What’ll happen to me, damnit?!

Keegan: Everybody relax, okay! Have some faith, the front of the line knows where we’re going!

Michael: You don’t know that! They could be leading us into a volcano or a wood chipper!

Keegan: Stop scaring everybody!

Michael: They need to be scared! This isn’t the same line we started with; there’s a homeless guy and a mailman behind me!

Keegan: We’re going to get back okay, alright? The groom is leading the line!

Groom: No I’m not!

Keegan: What? Wait a minute! Oh my God, if you’re back there… then who’s in charge of this conga line?

Groom: I don’t know! We got all crazy when we cross that bridge!

Keegan: (crying) Oh my God, we’re going to die!!

Cuts to conga line crossing the street.

Cuts to Bride and Groom

Bride: Listen to me, I have a plan. I think you and I should try and electric slide out of this conga line.

The grooms tried to look back at the bride.

Bride: Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t look around.

Groom: (through gritted teeth) What are you, talking crazy? The conga line ends when we get back to the banquet hall. We are all in this together.

Bride: Well, okay! So it’s this conga line over your new bride? Thank God I found out about this now. So long, baby!

The bride electric slides out of line.

Groom: No wait, Cindy! Cindy! Cindy, no! Cindy, come back…

Arden: Where’s she going?

Groom: (crying) …and conga with your husband!

Out of nowhere, two dogs come running at the bride.

Bride: Oh my god! Oh!

The bride screams as the two dogs jump onto her, knocking her down and tear at her dress.

Arden: Isn’t anybody going to help her?

The dogs continue ripping the bride’s dress up and biting at her.

Groom: (crying) Cindy!!

Arden: Anybody help her?!

One of the dogs runs off with the bride’s hand in its mouth.

Cuts to scene of man talking in a conference, with a sign reading “Welcome Moon Realtors” in the background. On the screen, it reads “30 Years Later.

Moon Realtor: First off, I’d like to congratulate Bill Phillips for breaking the sales record on the north crater. This guy could sell property on the dark side of the moon, but I don’t know about his golf swing! (laughs)

In through the door bursts the conga line with only four people remaining. The groom falls to his knees screaming, with the rest of the line struggling to stay standing.

Moon Realtor: Can I, help you folks?

Groom: Is this… the banquet hall of the Best Western?

Moon Realtor: I suppose it was a best Western thirty years ago. Oh! I used to DJ weddings here.

Groom: DJ… Funky Fresh?

Moon Realtor/DJ Funky Fresh: Why yes… it’s been a long time, but I’m a moon realtor now.

Groom: We’re the conga line you started.

Moon Realtor/DJ Funky Fresh: My God… is this all that’s left of you?

Groom: Yes. We lost a lot of great people out there. All that’s left is me, this bridesmaid, my father-in-law, and the mailman! (breaks down in tears)

Moon Realtor/DJ Funky Fresh: Welcome home. Come, there is much to tell you.

Moon Realtor/DJ Funky Fresh leads the remaining line off, encouraging them, as they struggle to walk.)

Groom: (to Crista:) Hold my hips!

A voiceover narrates the text on screen.

Voiceover: Over 700,000 people die every year in conga lines. Talk to your kids about the dangers of conga lining.

The More You Now NBC logo passes by.

Last edited by nick; 01/21/2007 at 8:05 PM. Reason: broken picture links
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