[MADtv] Monologue: Nicole Sullivan's First (#101)

[newt007]

Nicole Sullivan- Herself


(Setting: On the main stage)

Nicole: Hi. My name is Nicole Sullivan.

[Applause]

Nicole: Um...I just-- I want to tell you about the first time I read mad magazine. I was 8 years old, and it was in the waiting room of the child psychology department at the free clinic. It was, uh... shortly after my father's, um... accident. Uh... social services told my mom you know, that maybe I should you know, talk to someone, and I told the puppets that... I--I told them that my brother didn't know The gun was loaded. And I remember I was-- I was sitting in the waiting room, and all the other kids were reading Spy vs. Spy and laughing and ha ha laughing, all I could think was, “Run, daddy! Run! No, Billy! Please! Oh, god! Oh, god!” I don't think I can do this. “Oh, gee, Nicole, come be on our show. It'll be fun-- Spy vs. Spy.” “Run, daddy! Run!” I don't want to be here. I want to be on Friends. No, no, no, really. Watch, watch, watch, watch, watch. I can do this. “Oh, gee, Rachel, I would love some more coffee. Ha ha ha. Chandler, you're so funny.” See? See? I can do this. I can do this. I want cute outfits and maybe a guitar... Like phoebe. (whispers) I don't feel safe here. I don't want to drink cappuccino with Phil or Artie or any of these people. But here I am. Let's go, MADtv! Right? I mean... Right?