[MADtv] Juno II (#1312)

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Cast

Announcer (never scene): Jordan Peele
Juno MacGuff (Ellen Page): Crista Flanagan
Singer(s) (never seen): Unknown (might be Jordan Peele. The song is often blocked by the dialogue of the sketch so whenever it is on this icon will be used. When the music is gone another icon of the same will follow)
Mac MacGuff (J.K. Simmons): Michael McDonald
Bren MacGuff (Allison Janney): Nicole Parker
Leah (Olivia Thirlby): Arden Myrin
Dead Hobo: Unknown (not important)
Rollo (Rainn Wilson): Johnny A. Sanchez
Paulie Bleeker (Michael Cera): Dan Oster
Mable Rose: Dahali Hall
Officer Mitchell: Unknown (If someone knows who this is, please post who at the bottom)

Signs

When this icon is used, that means that the line or lines are being done in a musical tone.

Explained above.

(When something is in italic and in brackets, that means that I am describing something).

Sketch

(Juno is walking down a sidewalk, drinking something out of a carton).

Announcer: From the irritatingly quirky mind of Oscar Award winner Diablo Cody comes the sequel half the country has been violently waiting for (Juno is now drinking Jack Daniels from the bottle). Juno II (title shown).

(The scene shifts to Juno's house with her standing near the door with Leah and her parents are sitting in the living room)

Singer(s):

Leah: Just tell um dude

Juno MacGuff: Mom, dad. Remember the jimmidy jam before?

Mac MacGuff: You mean the baby you so charmingly gave away?

Juno MacGuff: Rightatoui, but this jam is the sweet side of a turd sandwich.

Leah: Dude, just spit it out dude.

Juno MacGuff: Mom, dad. I shot a homeless man.

Bren MacGuff: Oh thank goodness Juneball. I thought you took a dollar from my pocket book.

Mac MacGuff: Or forgot to make your bed.

Bren MacGuff: Or watch TV.

Mac MacGuff: Or darned a sock.

Bren MacGuff: Or lost a penny.

Mac MacGuff: Or some other random thing that's not really important.

(Scene shifts to the ally where the hobo body is dead with Juno and Rollo on the scene)

Rollo: That's one stiff that can't be unstuffed, biscuits and gravy.

Juno MacGuff: What?

Rollo: That's one knick knack that's not going to be unknocked, chicken and waffles.

Juno MacGuff: Huh?

Rollo: That's one pillow tag, if ya cut it off it can't be reattached, apartment hibachi. Sorry Juno, I don't remember what we were talking about.

(Scene then shifts to Paulie yard where a kitchen at the front of his house is set up. Paulie walks out in his track uniform).

Juno MacGuff: Hey Bleeker.



Paulie Bleeker: Your not pregnant again are you? Because we used the rythem method.

Juno MacGuff: Nah, this oven's bun free. Sit down Mable Rose made eggs and grits.

Mabel Rose: Hi ya Mr. Paulie, you sure are hanging low today.

(Paulie's crotch is blurred to imply that he is wearing no underwear).

Juno MacGuff: Listen Bleeker, I've committed hobocide, and instead of calling the 5-0 and pullin a Weekend at Buries I've decided to pluck his people parts and Robin Hood him to a terminal teen I found in the Penny Saver.

Announcer: So realistic, you'll swear it's a documentary.



(Scene shifts to Juno and Paulie sitting on a step singing and playing instruments).

Paulie Bleeker: You’re a free spirit, you do what you feel, use crazy slang that isn't really real, the fact that this film was made has me amazed.

(Scene shifts to Juno and Paulie walking down the sidewalk).

Juno MacGuff: Your little cop friend is giving me the stink eye.

Paulie Bleeker: Officer Mitchell is, is not my friend, and and I, I doubt he giving you the stink eye (scene shows Officer Mitchell giving Juno the stink eye earlier) alright, it's just his face, and his face does that it it does a fa, fa, face thing. With with with his face, and so.

Juno MacGuff: Didn't like that stink eye I got from that hobo. I filled him with holes till he looked like an oboe. Put this on the list of things that have me unfazed.

(Scene then shifts to Juno and Paulie removing the organs from the body, putting the body parts in bags, and filling them with blue slushy to keep them cold, and giving them to the woman from the penny saver ad. The scene then shifts to Juno trying to decipher which hamburgers in her room are hamburgers, and which one is her hamburger phone. This tune underneath is playing throughout)

Juno MacGuff & Paulie Bleeker: ba, ba, ba, da, dabba, dabba, ba, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, dap, dabby, doink, da, duck, duky, duky, fluke, florgie, florg, fla, fla, floopy, la, la, le, la, dabby, dab, ba, ba, babby, da, babby, da, babby, da, ba, na, na, na, na, rooie, roo, la, la.

Mabel Rose: Ms. Juno, I sure do like hangin out with you in this fake kitchen, but aren't your parents going to be worried about you?

Juno MacGuff: Mable Rose, I killed a drifter and harvested his spleen. What other shenanigans could I get into?

(Scene shifts back to Juno and Paulie on the steps with their words becoming incoherent. Scene shifts to the title).

Announcer: Juno II

So precious, you'll punch your date in the face!

(Scene then goes to Juno walking down the street drunk).

Juno MacGuff: (To a speeding car). Hey slow down!

(Sketch ends).

[Pip2010]

You know that Crista Flanagan also played Juno in Disaster Movie.