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Old 11/20/2006, 11:15 PM
AngelasBraces Male AngelasBraces is offline
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 51
Default Just Because I'm Black (#1205)

Not really sure what to call this, if anybody has a more proper name, let me know.

Man- Michael McDonald
Woman- Nicole Randall Johnson

Woman: So you not gonna give me the job just because I’m black?

Man: Okay, first of all, you just walked in to the room, so the interview hasn’t started. Second of all, your race has nothing to do with you getting this job. And, uh, third of all, hello! Why don’t you have a seat? Now I’d like to ask you a couple of questions…

Woman: Oh, oh, so you gon’ grill me, just because I’m black.

Man: No, I’m not going to grill you; I’m just going to ask you some questions, since this is an interview. Uh, so I’m gonna start here… Um, under your name, you have written ‘Anonymous’.

Woman: What? A black woman can’t be named ‘Anonymous’?!

Man: Usually, when people use anonymous, they’re trying to hide their name. Unless that, is in fact, your name. Is- is, that your name?

Woman: [angry] No.

Man: Can I have your name?

Woman: I don’t know my name.

[he looks quizzical]

Woman: What? A black woman can’t not know her name?

Man: Okay, uh, we’re not getting anywhere with name, so I’m just gonna move on. Under date of birth, I see you have written ‘H’.

Woman: A black woman can’t be born on H?!

Man: No, she can’t, see, uh, H is not a number, it’s a letter.

Woman: Ohhhh, really, oh, okay. So a black woman can’t be born on a letter.

Man: No. No one can be born on a letter. People are born on dates, and dates have numbers—

[she takes out a box of cereal and pours it on her head]

Man: Okay, what are you doing now? Why are you pouring a box of breakfast cereal over your head?

Woman: What? A black woman can’t pour a box of breakfast cereal on her head?

Man: No, she can, it’s just, I wouldn’t recommend it during a job interview.

[she takes out a sandwich and starts sticking her tongue in it]

Man: Okay, and now you’re kissing a sandwich.

Woman: What? A black woman can’t make out with a sandwich?

Man: This is getting a little out of hand…

Oh, okay, so I’m getting out of hand because I’m black….

Man: This has nothing to do with you being black.

Woman: Because I’m a woman?

Man: No, that’s not it either.

Because I’m Superman?

[she opens her shirt to reveal another shirt with a picture of Robin Williams upside down]

Man: Okay, um, that’s not a Superman shirt, that’s a picture of Robin Williams upside down.

[she pets her shirt]

Woman: Oh oh oh oh, okay, so a black woman can’t have an upside down picture of Robin Williams?

[he looks down and there is a moment of silence]

Man: Oh. Hm. I was hoping my phone would ring. Uh, let’s concentrate on why you should get this job. What skills do you have?

Oh I see. A black woman can’t be skilless.

Man: Skilless?

Woman: Yes, skilless!

Man: That’s… Not a word.

Woman: A skilless! A skilless! A skilless!

Man: No matter how many times you say it, it’s not a word. A skilless?

Woman: A skilless! You know, what you fry eggs in, a skilless!

Man: Okay, a skillet.

Woman: That’s what I said. You not gonna hire a black woman because she’s a skillet.

Man: Okay, I’m not gonna hire a skillet no matter what race she is. Okay? I’m just not.

Woman: Well what if it was a wok? Or a fryin pan?

Man: I am not going to hire anything from a kitchen, Miss Anonymous!

[she is taken back and winds her head around]

Woman: Okay, so you not gonna hire me cause I’m black.

Man: I’m not gonna hire you because you’re out of your mind.

Woman: Damn.

Man: But I am going to hire you because I am federally obligated to hire a black woman. When can you start?

Woman: Well I can start on M.

Man: All right, be here by quarter to penguin.

Woman: Thank you, Mr. Shoelace.
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