The last movie I watched was...

[NemesisDesign]

Dakota Fanning has and will always look like a little blonde alien.

[NemesisDesign]

Last night I saw Brother, some Russian mafia movie. Whoever did the writeup for it on Netflix and compared it to a Tarantino film should lose their job. Pretty terrible.

Today I saw Thirst, a Korean film from the acclaimed director Park Chan Wook (Oldboy, Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance). As usual, the film looked gorgeous, but I don't think the story was as strong as his other film. Fair warning: its a vampire movie and its Korean. That means that you have to go into it and try not to bring in any anti-vampire bias from all the shitty vampire lore lately. As for the Korean part, that means you need to be prepared to have a blank stare on your face for half of it and expect some really weird sexuality in the movie. Anything this guy makes is worth watching in my opinion, but this is probably the weakest of his films (and was still pretty good IMO).

Oh, and Thirst gets billed as a horror film. I would disagree. Nothing is really very scary (though it is plenty gory). I'd put it somewhere between a love triangle story with some dark comedy sprinkled in.

[tvmanismadformad]

I saw Dinner for Schmuck's last night. I have to say it was pretty mediocre. A few funny moments like anything with Steve Carell's Berry and Zach Galafanakis Therman, and the dinner was funny, but things like the confrontation between Barry, Tim, and his one night stand Darla, and the brunch with the Swiss business couple ultimately fell flat for me.

[tvmanismadformad]

So I was watching Tosh.0 on Thursday for some reason (I think there was nothing on) and he mentioned a movie called The Human Centipede. He was doing it for a segment called Spoiler Alert, in which he spoils the movie by listing every scene. The scene was cut to 2 minutes of the 24 minute explanation, but I found the cuts pretty entertaining, and since it wasn't up fully on my Canadian Comedy Network, I decided to wait it out by finding the movie on the internet and watching it so that maybe I could get the jokes better, and I can honestly say that this is a terrible, fucked up movie in more ways than one, and I can tell you that it's a two tragedy movie. Tragedy for the main protagonists, and a tragedy for me wasting my time watching this fucked up piece of shit.

The plot is simple. A mad scientist (German of course) captures a Japanese man, and two American women who accidentally found there way on to his property (notice something) and plans on filling out his dream of creating a Siamese human connected by the gastric system. That's right, ass to mouths (and I'll answer the obvious question, yes there is a shitting scene).

Besides the plot, which is disturbing enough, the film is really terrible. There are only two good scenes in the whole movie. The water rape drug part which is unintentionally hilarious, and the first 10 minutes after the surgery as you watch this sad circumstance first come to life (Or basically between when they wake up and the shitting scene.I thought about spoiling this, but as I thought about it and I realized that when you have a movie titled The Human Centipede, it's not going to end without the thing happening). The rest of the movie is riddled in plot problems and just unappealing images. One that really got me was the girls crying which went from unnoticably shocking, to sad, to a little annoying, and then to sad again.

So my summary of this film. There's a reason why Roger Ebert thought this film was so fucked up that he didn't even give it a star rating, not because he wanted to give them 0 stars, but because he felt that this was a movie that he just could not place in a star category. This film is bad. The only reason I would suggest watching it, is if you plan on watching the Tosh.0 Spoiler Alert segment on Comedy Central (Comedy Network in Canada), because if you do, you'll find it hilarious. I'm saying that and I'm not even a fan of Daniel Tosh.

Sorry this is so long, this film just really got to me because not only is it brutal, it's apart of the worst horror film genre of all time. The "this could give someone ideas" kind, and worse, because unlike the Saw films and Hostel, this one would probably be the easiest to pull off, and I think just the fact that there is someone out there who might be crazy enough to do this makes me a little angry that this film was made.

[PitaPockets]

Originally Posted by tvmanismadformad

So I was watching Tosh.0 on Thursday for some reason (I think there was nothing on) and he mentioned a movie called The Human Centipede.

Yeah. THC was pretty redic as a movie.
Like I mentioned a few pages back, I watched it because everyone was talking about it.

I don't even know if I agree with the whole "THIS COULD HAPPEN YOU GUYS!" but the fact that someone came up with this concept just fucking flabbergasts me. To the point I consider using "flabbergast."

It was really bad. I think most people watch it waiting for the one scene...
and that was kinda.. meh.

I honestly don't have much to say about it. It was unremarkably bad.

[tvmanismadformad]

Originally Posted by PitaPockets

I don't even know if I agree with the whole "THIS COULD HAPPEN YOU GUYS!" but the fact that someone came up with this concept just fucking flabbergasts me. To the point I consider using "flabbergast."

It was really bad. I think most people watch it waiting for the one scene...
and that was kinda.. meh.

I actually read up on that. Appearently, the director and writer Tom Six was told a joke by his friend that he thought all child molesters should be sewn to the butts of fat truckers, and Six expanded on it. Now I don't see how that's fair for the trucker, but it does teaches us all a lesson. If you have a bad joke, don't tell it to a sick writer/director, he will make a movie out of it.

I agree too that that "scene" was meh. Except for the words by the doctor and the Japanese guy, and her hand moves on the bandages, I don't think I would have noticed anything different about that scene.

[cartman2002]

I went to see "The Other GUys" last night and I thought it was a funny film but its not as funny as "Anchorman"

[Scorpiogrrl4405]

Just saw "Vampires Suck" hella funny stuff.....i laughed a lot more than I thought I would plus it had anneliese in it so.......yknow titties bonus

[tvmanismadformad]

But you already saw it on the internet through the leak. Why would you see, and worse now pay to see it.

[Scorpiogrrl4405]

Originally Posted by tvmanismadformad

But you already saw it on the internet through the leak. Why would you see, and worse now pay to see it.

because there was stuff in the theater release that was not in the leaked version and there were changes that were made from the leaked version to the theater release.

[tvmanismadformad]

Like what? Anything big? Specifically with Anneliese Van Der Pol?

[Scorpiogrrl4405]

Originally Posted by tvmanismadformad

Like what? Anything big? Specifically with Anneliese Van Der Pol?

There's a scene after she talks about Edward Sullen not accepting her on Facebook and before Becca and Edward do that long stare thing, where she voice narrates herself reading a Dear John letter, and in the letter she talks about how much she misses him and how she enjoys the things he does to her when they're together that no other man has ever done to her before, then mentions that she still is unable to ride a bike.


Then at the end when they announce the prom queen and king, she and her boyfriend end up winning but then get disqualified when its discovered they cheated by submitting thousands of votes and their class is only 300 people. So she gets mad and yells at her boyfriend "you asswipe my life is ruined!" before violently headbutting him and leaving

[tvmanismadformad]

Those were both in the workprint. The first scene you mentioned was a little sketchy but I distinctly remember the second one.

[Scorpiogrrl4405]

Originally Posted by tvmanismadformad

Those were both in the workprint. The first scene you mentioned was a little sketchy but I distinctly remember the second one.

The dear john part wasn't in the workprint. That scene went from her talking about his Facebook to them staring each other down afterwards, the letter reading wasn't there in the WP. I mustve missed the second one.....oh well. There were a few other minor changes and what not that I didn't remember, like when she pulls out her lunch in the WP its saurkraut and in the theater release its tuna...and the werewolf dance sequence seemed to be a bit longer.

[NemesisDesign]

Totally regretting not seeing this clearly stellar film.

[tvmanismadformad]

If the werewolf dancing scene is longer I definately don't want to see it. That was one of the worst part of the movie. It was really one of those immature thing that if they didn't have it in there, the movie actually could have been a tame, funny, and accurate parody movie, and therefore much better than it was.

[Scorpiogrrl4405]

LOL......i didn't like that part much either. too much man parts for my liking.

[Scorpiogrrl4405]

Originally Posted by NemesisDesign

Totally regretting not seeing this clearly stellar film.

Anneliese soaking wet in a low plunging dress..........that is all

[NemesisDesign]

Retort: internet pornography. Checkmate?

[PitaPockets]

Great, now that the Vampire movie's been ruined for me, I have to go see Eat, Pray, Love this weekend.

lulz