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  #1  
Old 01/03/2003, 12:50 PM
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Default Vancome- MADtv Misadventure (#425)

Vancome Lady: Nicole Sullivan
Girl Scout Leader: Mo Collins
Marvin Tikvah: Michael McDonald
Kevin Spicey: Extra
Mexican Girl: Extra

Mo: Okay scouts, who's ready to make bird houses?

Scouts: Me, me, me!!!

Mo: Alright but first we need our craftslady Kathy to come and show us how.

VL: (Enters through door) Hold onto your cookies scouts...hold onto the cookies scouts cause the world's greatest tool handler has just arrived.

Mo: Thank goodness, we were beginning to think you would never come.

VL: Never come, who have you been talking to? A girl just needs a little foreplay.

Mo: Okay well before we get started on those houses lets remember girls: safety first.

VL: That's right, you don't want to wind up making a mistake that you'll be stuck with for the rest of your life: you know like this girl's parents.

Girl: I want to go home now.

VL: Okay Maria, we'll just lowride you right back over the border.

Girl: You can't talk to me that way.

VL: Why, no ah-blah-English?

Girl: Do you know who my father is?

VL: No, you know what sweety, I don't know who your father is but ttcha you know what? Neither does your mother.

Mo: Well now, you don't really think I'm going to...ah shoot dammit, sorry, screwed a line.

Voice: Okay cut. (Girls leave set)

VL: It's a lot easier to act when you're sober Mo.

Mo: Uh David, where do you want us to take it from?

VL: How 'bout we take it from when someone told Mo she was funny. Oh wait, wait that never happened. I've seen premature ejaculators with better timing.

Mo: You know, do you think you can just you know shut up just for a few minutes 'til we get through this cause I would really like to get out of here, yeah.

VL: Wow, wow, okay, okay Mo whatever you say. Afterall, you are the star of MADtv. Then again: you are the star of MADtv.

Mo: We'll just take like five minutes you know just buckle everything up and...

VL: Okay Mo your voice is really annoying like that, I can't hear you. Okay Mo just...Lalala Lalala Lalala. And clear the set.

Mo: Alright that's it forget it. Can we get somebody else to do this scene. Maybe get Nicole, she'll do anything. (Leaves set)

VL: Wow, look at her go man if her ass jiggled anymore, Bill Cosby would stick a spoon in it.

Mo: I heard that! Hello, I heard that!

VL: You heard that alright Mo lighten up it was a jello joke for god sakes ahhh. Boot on a cracker, you can smell the IQ coming off this bunch. Hi boys.

Kevin: (Enters set) Excuse me Kathy.

VL: Oh gosh don't shoot, you can have my diamonds.

Kevin: No, I'm Kevin Spicey, Fox exect. Look it, when we start this again, you're going to have to lose some of the rascist jokes.

VL: Sure thing Sachmo and don't steal my TV.

Marvin: (Enters set) Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Why aren't we shooting?

Kevin: Talk to her. (Leaves set)

VL: Okay, who are you?

Marvin: I'm the executive producer of MADtv. I run the show.

VL: From the size of you, looks like you ate the show.

Marvin: You better back off lady cause I pay your salary. You know what I'm saying?

VL: Point taken Shamou. Okay you're the executive producer of MADtv?

Marvin: Yes.

VL: Let me ask you one question. What are you thinking? Okay, you got a whole bunch of corny old fart jokes and that's just the cast. Like ah, what's her name? The one with the, with the cornrolls you know and the jugs?

Marvin: That's Debbie Wilson and she's a huge talent.

VL: Huge is right: thanks to her plastic surgeon.

Marvin: You ain't kidding, she's got a real couple of fun bags. Speaking of which, i have to make an appointment with Nicole Sullivan. The set designers are starting to use her chest as a level.

VL: And what's up with that black character? You know that one who, who moves around real fast and loves his job?

Marvin: The UBS Guy

VL: Yeah, yeah.

Marvin: What's wrong with him?

VL: Maybe you didn't hear me so good. I said: a black guy, who moves fast and loves his job. Who are they kidding?

Marvin: Okay, okay.

VL: Okay the only thing this show has going for them is that Ms. Swan lady. Finally, finally on television we have an accurate portrayel of the Icelandic peoples.

Marvin: Alright, I'll tell you what Vancome Lady, I've got a proposition for you. Have you ever had any experience as a network executive?

VL: No sirree and I've lost every job I've ever had.

Marvin: Then you'll be perfect at FOX. (Walk into the sunset together)

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Last edited by newt007; 02/09/2005 at 7:55 PM.
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  #2  
Old 01/03/2003, 2:30 PM
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Me too, vidcap is coming too... That one was awesome.

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  #3  
Old 01/03/2003, 2:45 PM
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Is this the one where Kathy becomes a MADtv cast member? If so, I missed this sketch because of a power outage...
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  #4  
Old 01/03/2003, 8:54 PM
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Mo is a Girl Scouts Leader prepping the girl scouts for making bird houses. Kathy, the Crafts Lady walks in and insults a Mexican girl, then Mo after she screws up a line and the shoot is cut. A black producer approaches her and Kathy insults him. Marvin, the executive of MADtv walks up to her and the other guy takes off. Kathy insults Marvin's weight and then they get on to talking about other cast and their characters including Debra Wilson, Nicole Sullivan, the UBS Guy but complements Swan "finally an accurate portayel of the Icelandic peoples". Marvin then hires her as a producer of the show saying she's perfect for FOX and they walk into the sunset together.

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  #5  
Old 01/03/2003, 9:00 PM
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I'm just DYING to see the transcript. WHY DID I MISS THIS PARTICULAR SKETCH?!!!!
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  #6  
Old 01/04/2003, 5:19 AM
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That one was great, wasn't it?



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Someone left the cake out in the [COLOR=sky blue]rain[/COLOR]...
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  #7  
Old 01/04/2003, 1:48 PM
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Quote:
That one was great, wasn't it?
Oh come on, don't make me even more disappointed...
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  #8  
Old 01/06/2003, 4:36 PM
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I have both Vancome Halloween and Vancome- Girl Scouts (MADtv Misadventure) written down but they're long so I have to get time later this week to type them up.

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  #9  
Old 01/07/2003, 3:35 PM
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Default Vancome- MADtv Misadventure (#425)

<post moved to top>

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Last edited by Mad Dog; 01/08/2003 at 1:40 PM.
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  #10  
Old 01/08/2003, 4:10 AM
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One small correction: premature jack-o-lanterns is meant to be premature ejaculators.


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  #11  
Old 01/08/2003, 1:34 PM
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That's what I thought but it sounded like jack-o-lanterns on the TV and I listened to it about 300 times so I gave up and put the wrong thing.

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  #12  
Old 01/11/2003, 5:59 PM
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I will upload a vidcap of this awesome episode later today... I'm still in the process of encoding. I have a bunch of new vidcaps. I will post the list later as well.

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  #13  
Old 01/11/2003, 10:04 PM
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The video has been moved to the new section, sketch of the week.

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Last edited by HiVolt; 01/14/2003 at 8:35 PM.
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  #14  
Old 03/14/2003, 4:33 AM
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Good job, Mad Dog. I love that sketch!

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  #15  
Old 03/14/2003, 1:35 PM
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I've never seen that sketch but it sounds hella funny. They have the reruns on TNN but they went from episode #424 straight to episode #501. Completely left out #425.

I'd love a copy if someone has it on tape to add to my collection.
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  #16  
Old 02/03/2005, 1:17 PM
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Default Re: Vancome- MADtv Misadventure (#425)

Quote:
Originally posted by Mad Dog

Mo: Alright but first we need our craftslady Cathy to come and show us how.
Isn't it Kathy?

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  #17  
Old 02/09/2005, 7:31 PM
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Default Re: Re: Vancome- MADtv Misadventure (#425)

Quote:
Originally posted by ef_7

Isn't it Kathy?
Yes, Kathy Wajanowski.

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As always, please look over the most recent episode guide here and let us know of any additions or corrections. Thank you.
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  #18  
Old 03/03/2005, 11:49 AM
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Wow, just saw this skit--unbelievably funny!
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  #19  
Old 06/29/2005, 11:37 AM
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i saw this sketch on tv it was really funny to have the Vancome Lady and Marvin Tikvah meet
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