Go Back   Planet MADtv > Our Database > MADtv Repository > MADtv Transcripts
Register Members List Mark Forums Read

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 06/16/2004, 9:27 PM
funny_guy's Avatar
funny_guy Male funny_guy is offline
26/07/16!!
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,441
Default Cold Angry Bed (#425)

Frank Caydel- Michael McDonald
Susan Caydel- Nicole Sullivan
Joan Embree- Mo Collins
Kenny G- Andrew Bowen


Voiceover: Welcome to Cold Angry Bed with your hosts Frank and Susan Caydel.

Frank Caydel: Good evening friends, welcome to our cold angry bed. Im Frank Caydel..

Susan Caydel: And im Susan Caydel, for now.

Frank Caydel: Promises, promises honey.

Susan Caydel: This is a unique late night talk show that we bring to you live, from our cold and angry bed.

Frank Caydel: Where we are night, after night...

Susan Caydel: After night. Frank when your mother was pregnant with you, why didnt she just throw herself down a flight of stairs?

Frank Caydel: Well honey, if i knew what was in store for me, i would have aborted myself.

Susan Caydel: Your a class act Frank.

Frank Caydel: Thanks honey. Someday i wanna marry somebody like you......but pretty. Our first guest is no stranger to our cold and angry bed.

Susan Caydel: What is it, the wind of revolsion?

Frank Caydel: No, its Joan Embree from the San Diego Zoo.

Joan Embree: (Enters holding a cage with a spider in it) Hi guys.

Frank Caydel: Hi Joan.

Joan Embree: Thanks for having me back.

Frank Caydel: Sure, come on in. You always show us such interesting things.

Susan Caydel: God knows i havent seen an interesting thing in ten years. I wish i had your job.

Frank Caydel: Oh come on honey your already so busy with both your jobs; part time bitch, full time bitch.

Joan Embree: Could i continue please?

Susan Caydel: Of course, ignore him. What do you have in the box there?

Joan Embree: (Holds up cage with spider in it) Let me tell ya this is an extremely venomous creature here.

Frank Caydel: She sure is, but whats in the box?

Susan Caydel: Ha... Ho...

Joan Embree: Now shes so lethal that im just gonna keep her in her cage here.

Frank Caydel: Lethal huh? Hey honey why dont you stick your finger in there and give it a good poke.

Susan Caydel: A good poke what is that exactly?

Joan Embree: 'Kay thats it! You know what? Im not doing your show anymore! You two need to either get therapy or a divorce (walks out).

Frank Caydel: Joan, im sorry.

Susan Caydel: Well thanks for bringing the spider, thank you for coming...

Frank Caydel: Your the only one who has...

Susan Caydel: Ok our next guest is an international recording artist Kenny G. (Kenny enters, kisses Susan and shakes Frank's hand) Mmmmm i almost forgot what it was like to have a real man kiss me.

Frank Caydel: Vindictive party of one your tables ready.

Susan Caydel: Ya know Kenny you are so romantic, what is your secret?

Kenny G: Well i think its about being passionate, never let the passion for each other die.

Frank Caydel: Well our passion is not only dead, its wrapped in gauze and mummified.

Kenny G: Maybe i should just play?

Susan Caydel: Yes that would be nice, thank you.

Kenny G: (Plays a romantic tune on his clarinet) Ya know, im just not gonna stop playing until you two start getting romantic (starts playing again).

Susan Caydel: I cant take it anymore.

Frank Caydel: Me neither.

Susan Caydel: Come here!

(Frank and Susan start kissing)

Kenny G: My work here is done (leaves as he continues to play his clarinet).

Frank Caydel: (Stops kissing) Hes gone.

Susan Caydel: Oh, get off of me. God, i need a shower.

Frank Caydel: You are the worst kisser i have ever kissed.

Susan Caydel: Maybe you could brush your tongue once this year!

Frank Caydel: Yaaah!

(Both exit)

Voiceover: This has been Cold Angry Bed.

__________________
-------"The real funny beneath the funny"-------
Reply With Quote




Reply




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump
 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
[MADtv] Cold Case (#918) funny_guy MADtv Transcripts 13 09/14/2010 11:53 AM
[MADtv] This Cold House #1-3 (#607) Nic-N-Mike_Fan MADtv Transcripts 1 11/03/2005 2:08 PM
[MADtv] Phil LaMarr on "Cold Case" this Sunday! MysterE Front Page News 5 12/20/2004 1:16 AM

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 5:30 AM.