[MADtv] Closing: Red Carpet (#903)

[newt007]

Mo
Paul
Patricia Heaton
Wanda Sykes
Simon Cowell


(Setting: On the Red Carpet)

Mo: You know, I’m a wife and mother, too.

Patricia: Yeah, did you read my book?

Mo: You have a book out?

Patricia: Yeah…

Mo: As a wife and mother, I don’t have time to read your book.


Patricia: (laughs) It’s a bathroom book. You can sit on the john for a few minutes and get through a chapter.

Mo: I’m in and out of there in 5 seconds as it is.—

Mo: (speaking to Wanda Sykes) Hey, you gonna miss the lap dance?

Wanda: I’m gonna go to Canada, get all my lap dances.

Paul: I’ll give you a lap dance now. (rubs against Wanda)


Wanda: ‘Cause they lap dance totally naked.

Mo: Yeah, they get a big moose to come and land on you.

Wanda: I don’t have a lap for you to dance on me.

Paul: I got enough lap for all of us!

(Credits roll and music plays)

Wanda: I’m would have to import some lap. –

Mo: (interviewing Simon Cowell) Are you up for something? What are you up for?

Simon: Something. I don’t know what.

Mo: What, do you care?


Simon: Honestly, I couldn’t care less.

Mo: Really?

Simon: No.

Mo: You son of a bitch. We’d give anything to be in there.

Simon: Would you?

Mo: Just about.

Simon: Come on in.

Mo: I’m getting- I’m getting in. (hands over microphone to Paul)

Paul: Oh, bye. Bye. See you later, Simon.

(Mo walks away with Simon)

(Rest of the end credits roll)