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Old 08/02/2011, 5:08 AM
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tarzapam Female tarzapam is offline
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trust me,its pulling at my heart strings too.
It wasn't just her moving on but i was indirectly led to believe that at some point there could be a reunion between us so i've never tried to get over her...instead just waiting for her to be ready to be with me again.In the space of a week it went from her being confused about feelings(its someone she works with...go figure) to her being in a relationship with this person.
i don't even know who she is anymore cause this seems so out of character and her behaviour towards me(how i found out,her seemingly nonchalance since) have really gotten under my skin.She does not seem like the person i just spent 6 years of my life with.
She took me off facebook/twitter as well as my family a few days ago and i was offended by this but considering i don't want her in my life right now,its obviously for the best.
I have actually considered going to see someone to talk about it cause i just don't know what to do next or where to go from here.i never thought this would happen and i've been very ill prepared.
I felt like after i had talked to her and gotten everything off my chest that i was on the way up but i had a set back today and felt like i was at square one.ive been told though i can expect these mood turn arounds for a while yet on my road to recovery.
oh joy

Sorry for boring you guys with my sap story...this is just consuming my life right now.


And yes..u don't want to be known as the guy thats prowling on all the girls at work.you'd just come off as a jerk..there are girls out there that like nice guys that aren't so aggressive in that sense
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Old 08/02/2011, 3:24 AM
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Jeez tarza, even though I don't know you outside of here, and I have never experience this myself (or likely ever will), this is really pulling at my heart strings. She really should have had a talk with you about how your lives were going to be if either of you found someone else before she started considering other people.
I really hope for the best for you, and if I can give you any advice, I would say that you might want to go to a support group to talk with other people who are going through some similar things. If you think that just sounds lame, then maybe just consider seeing a therapist for private sessions. That's the best idea I got.

As for your comment about my situation, it's actually very accurate, because there is this guy who has started working in my section that keeps saying that he's going out with every woman in the place and getting their numbers that is getting a lot of rumours talked about him due to his prowlness (if that's a word. (It's not)). I look at him and I see how he is and I realize that that is definitely not the type of person I want to be. So I have come to the conclusion of not dating co-workers, and just trying to figure out the best place to meet women. Again, if anyone has any suggestions just post.

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Old 08/01/2011, 6:06 PM
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Is it really worth the awkwardness if ur misreading the signals???

As for me my situation went from bad to worse.
Even tho we had broken up we were still being intimate and talked every day.
Things started changing about 2 weeks ago and I found out she had just met someone else.I was totally devastated,still am,but obviously while I'm still in love with her,she is not with me.with that on the weekend we had the last phone call we'll have...probably for a really long time.I poured all my anger and pain out in a 40min space and after being in each others life daily for over 6yrs I made the decision for my own emotional/mental state that I had to remove her from my life for now if we were ever going to be friends again.one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and I am still struggling with it all but I want to get over her properly

Love sucks :-(
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Old 07/23/2011, 1:05 AM
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Originally Posted by tarzapam View Post
Tvman,the thing that stood out for me in ur postings is that ur only interested in meeting hot chicks.that's probably ur first mistake.just cause someone is hot doesn't mean they'll have any personality to back that up.obviously u need to be attracted to someone physically but don't base ur choices soley on that.make friends with these girls first but proceed with caution seeing u work with them.not worth tuning ur work environment for
Well, the thing is of the girls I talk to they are mostly hot. The ones that aren't really keep more to themselves in my place. I like to try and talk to everyone and that's why this dating thought has creeped in. I just worry that potential might be there and if I don't go for it who knows what I could be missing. Right now I'm looking at multiple window girls but the cracks aren't big enough to get through and I worry about them shutting.

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Old 07/23/2011, 12:23 AM
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We did long distance for 18months and she just couldn't hack it anymore.we've been broken up since the start of the year and we remain friends but it's getting to the stage now that I think that's all we'll truly be now and she's making new friends and I feel like ive stalled in that area.I spend a lot of time alone so I have too much time to think about what could have been.I'm trying to not do that so much though.

Tvman,the thing that stood out for me in ur postings is that ur only interested in meeting hot chicks.that's probably ur first mistake.just cause someone is hot doesn't mean they'll have any personality to back that up.obviously u need to be attracted to someone physically but don't base ur choices soley on that.make friends with these girls first but proceed with caution seeing u work with them.not worth tuning ur work environment for
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Old 07/18/2011, 1:19 AM
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The "friend zone" area is the problem I do have. I worry that if I ask them and they say no that then they will always look at me as the "guy who was trying to get some ass from me all this time", but I worry that if I wait, I'll fall into the zone.

It's tough, and it gets even tougher because one of the people who I talk to a bit and see an opertunity with is actually a part time model. Do you know how hard it is not to be tempted by that! I didn't put a question mark at the end of that last sentence because really does it need to be asked?

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Old 07/17/2011, 2:26 PM
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I'd be tempted to say don't shit where you eat because I'd fear the same awkwardness (or worse if they decide to go to management and be assholes about it). There *will* be awkwardness about it if they turn you down. I guess what you can do is pick one out that you're interested in, get to know her better, and leave her be if she turns out to be a tool. If you build up a rapport with her, there would be more context behind asking her out, which would make it less creepy and maybe less awkward after if she says no. The only tricky part is to not build up *too* much of a rapport because then you'll get friend zoned and you'll get the "you're like a brother to me" runaround.

I play a very conservative game when it comes to asking girls out on dates. Conservative is a kind word. If I didn't trip into the relationship I am enjoying right now, I'd undoubtedly be single because I'm pretty risk-averse. Good luck to you.

Tarz: that's a heartbreaker. I never knew the conditions of your break up. You may have quite a bit of wallowing ahead of you, but it won't be forever.

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Old 07/17/2011, 2:14 AM
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Originally Posted by tarzapam View Post
we were together for 6 years.
We only broke up cause shes from one side of the country and I'm from the other and we lived together for about 3.5yrs in my home side then she moved back to be with her family after some deaths in her family...and then yeah...She decided she didn't want to feel torn about moving back anymore and didn't want me to move cause of how close i am to my family.
I think its been harder cause the break up wasn't due to cheating or not loving each other.
That does sound like a hard break up. That's a real shame. I don't know how close you are to your family, or how long this has been since the break up, but if you feel that you really love this girl you sould consider moving to be with her. Again, I don't know your situation and I am by far not the best person to ask this since my dating experience exists souly on what I know from television, but you seem to have a real connection to this girl, and if you are still wallowing after 6 months to a year, you might want to put moving into consideration.

Since we are talking about relationships, I guess this would be a good place to come to you all with some dating problems I have now. So my job at the crappy movie theatre (yes I am still working there) has been hiring a lot of women lightly, and a lot of them are really hot. The problem though is that I am worried about asking any of these women out because if they do say no, it could cause some friction because after that they may only look at me as "that loser who tried to ask me out". I also know the problem with dating someone who you work with. It's getting really hard for me though to hold my tongue because these are some really hot women. One of them who I frequently talk to is even trying to become a professional model and actually does modeling! I feel really conflicted here and I could really use some help.

If you all don't think it's a good idea to date someone I work with, could you instead give me some areas where I can meet women (particularly hot women)? The reason why I am feeling stuck right now is because the only women I know are women at work.

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Old 07/16/2011, 7:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tarzapam View Post
we were together for 6 years.
We only broke up cause shes from one side of the country and i'm from the other and we lived together for about 3.5yrs in my home side then she moved back to be with her family after some deaths in her family...and then yeah...She decided she didn't want to feel torn about moving back anymore and didn't want me to move cause of how close i am to my family.
I think its been harder cause the break up wasn't due to cheating or not loving each other.

Btw...sucks about ur situation.but u don't need to waste ur time on someone like that who is only in it to boost their own ego.Not fair


Wow, that would make it hard...maybe you can try the long distance thing??

As for me, I'm done with her. If she's not going to actually give me some sort of chance, I'm not going to stick around to be her never ending compliment board.

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Old 07/16/2011, 7:08 PM
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we were together for 6 years.
We only broke up cause shes from one side of the country and i'm from the other and we lived together for about 3.5yrs in my home side then she moved back to be with her family after some deaths in her family...and then yeah...She decided she didn't want to feel torn about moving back anymore and didn't want me to move cause of how close i am to my family.
I think its been harder cause the break up wasn't due to cheating or not loving each other.

Btw...sucks about ur situation.but u don't need to waste ur time on someone like that who is only in it to boost their own ego.Not fair
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Old 07/16/2011, 4:49 PM
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she sounds like a big cock tease.
She either does or does not like you in that way or shes just doing it it to feel good about herself
eg: oh yaah someone loves me and thinks i;m hot,i'll keep feeding photos so i feel wanted.

WHO KNOWS.without directly asking u probably won't

ps i'm still wallowing in my break up.How long are u suppose to wallow? i'm not really sure.


You hit it on the nail, we had it out today over the whole situation, and im beginning to realize she's only doing it to make herself feel good instead of making me feel good...


as far as wallowing, it depends on how long you were together. The longer you were together, the longer its gonna take to get over her

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Old 07/15/2011, 5:49 PM
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she sounds like a big cock tease.
She either does or does not like you in that way or shes just doing it it to feel good about herself
eg: oh yaah someone loves me and thinks i;m hot,i'll keep feeding photos so i feel wanted.

WHO KNOWS.without directly asking u probably won't

ps i'm still wallowing in my break up.How long are u suppose to wallow? i'm not really sure.
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Old 06/07/2011, 9:06 PM
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Old 06/07/2011, 8:51 AM
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Give it a try and see how it works, but I am interested in knowing what these fantasies are. Are they of the female female variety?


they're more of the bisexual variety, but mostly of the female female variety

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Old 06/06/2011, 11:28 PM
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I think were going to need to see some of these pictures in order to get a better idea of your situation.

But seriously, I do have a way you can handle this. If she has this boyfriend why don't you try sitting down with her one day and asking her how things are going in that relationship. If she says that every things going good and she likes him, then I think she just has a weird personality and just thinks the pixts are funny, but if she says that it's not, that could lead her to expose her venerability, and as she goes on about it she might just blurt out that she really likes you.

Give it a try and see how it works, but I am interested in knowing what these fantasies are. Are they of the female female variety?

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Old 06/06/2011, 5:00 PM
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So I have a bit of a dilemma. Maybe its something that is simply and can easily be taken care of, but I've never found myself in this type of situation and I'm probably being naive, but anyway...


So I've got this friend, she's 19 and straight. She's got a bf, but yet she's always sending me semi-sexually explicit photos of herself, writes me sexual fantasy stories, and we engage in a lot of heavy duty flirting....today we were talking about fantasies.....she's practically begging me to tell her my fantasies and to let her help me fulfill them...


So she's got to be into me right? The whole straight thing could possibly be a lie, or maybe she's bicurious. Either way, this happened to us before, but we got into a fight over it because she felt uncomfortable with the idea. So I told her not to send me pics anymore etc etc. (Not that I mind them cuz she's hot). So for about 2 weeks she didn't, and now she's been sending them again non-stop w/o me asking for them.....




Any Ideas???

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Old 04/26/2011, 2:54 AM
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I've been single for almost 20 years now. I'm sure I can give you some helpful tips.

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Old 04/25/2011, 7:13 PM
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sad indeed......and this is why I stopped bothering to be in relationships......too old for all the drama

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Old 04/25/2011, 6:50 PM
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Wtf. Sad

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Old 04/25/2011, 5:36 PM
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i'm single for the first time in like 7 years...it sucks.i'm too old for this shit
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