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View Poll Results: What was your favorite sketch of #1314?
The Pussycat Dolls: Girlicious 6 20.69%
Political Smear Ad: John McCain 0 0%
Political Smear Ad: Barack & Hillary 0 0%
Kim Jong-Il & Friends: "Yes, I Can" 1 3.45%
Mannequin vs. Mannequin 3 10.34%
Moment of Truth: Maury & Connie 5 17.24%
Fun with Still Images: VCR Repair Shop #1 1 3.45%
Fun with Still Images: VCR Repair Shop #2 0 0%
Melvin Dufrane: Police Report #1 7 24.14%
The Rude Jew Mattress Store 1 3.45%
Fashion Surprise! 4 13.79%
Eat Less, Move More 1 3.45%
Melvin Dufrane: Police Report #2 0 0%
Fun with Still Images: VCR Repair Shop #3 0 0%
Voters: 29. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04/21/2008, 10:59 PM
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I just caught this episode on Hulu, and it was a definite come back from the last suck balls of episodes we've been subjected to.

I honestly can say nothing horrible about any of the sketches that were in this episode. The VHS sketches were bad, yes, but I still got a little kick out of them. They're miles above any Larry King bit, better than those "house stock footage" shots, but not as good the Fun With Clip Art.

Giricious was great. Great characters, Keegan in a dress, good use of the stage, and Arden in that red bikini. Sketch of the year!!! MORE ARDKINIS!

The Political Smear Ads were great, "Yes, I Can," also incredibly well done and way better than the Kim Jong-Il "Crazy" parody. Eat less, Move More, Fashion Surprise, all great.

Honestly, everything was great, except Moment of Truth was eh, and Melvin Dufrane didn't do much for me. There was a lot of win in this episode.

But I think Oster is my least favorite member of the cast as of now. Johnny Sanchez is not highly tolerable. WAY TO GO MADTV!!!
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Old 04/22/2008, 2:34 PM
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nick, you liked the Kim Jong-Il video and disliked the Moment of Truth sketch??? Kim Jong-Il doing duets with the other people was awful, I couldn't hear what was being said, just a bunch of Kim's yelling. No disrespect to you, I'm just curious is all.
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Old 04/25/2008, 8:12 PM
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Post bw's Review of #1314

The Pussycat Dolls: Girlicious: I suppose I could simply defer to my Kardashians review here, but you came for the show, didn't you? In the spirit of staying fresh, then, let me just begin by saying, am I the only one who was enraged by the lack of bikini on Crista? See what I did there? "Enraged" instead of "infuriated"? That's one for you, the loyal reader. Enjoy it. Anyway, because this sketch was comprised of three distinct parts, I'm going to break it down as such. The introduction? Well, if "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" was like shooting fish in a barrel, this was like hiring someone to shoot the fish for you; still, I can't recall the show parodying anything like this before, and besides, if there's a more deserving target available, I, for one, can't think of it. Way to take 'em down a peg or two, Nicole! The "amazing stories"? This portion was largely forgettable, but as anyone with taste might expect, Crista steals the show here with two of the sketch's three laugh-out-loud moments -- the flashback dance and the initial shot of those epic hulahoops. Easy gags, but good stuff nonetheless. As for the performance, while it contained only a single laugh-out-loud moment ("...but respect me!"), for some reason, I found myself oddly captivated by the lyrics. Just name the time and place, ladies! Regrettably, though, as a whole, it failed to meet my standards of girliciousness. Nicole? Possibly the best she's ever looked. Arden? Possibly the best she's ever looked. Crista? Well, we certainly won't be awarding any bonus points *this* week, will we? I mean, the yellow eyeliner? The Amanda Overmyer hairdo? The professional-wrestler-meets-cross-dresser-looking negligee? Why is it, again, that with at least three other female cast members available at any given time, Crista's the one who always gets stuck playing the horrible freaks? This brings me great rage. Furthermore, Arden's girdle? Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose? If you're going to splurge on a red leather bikini, only to cover up the exact portion of skin the bikini was meant to expose, you might as well save a few bucks, grab someone's winter parka, roll up the sleeves, and toss her in that instead. Note to Ms. Benbrook, the show's costume designer: When in doubt, ALWAYS add more midriff. Think you've added enough to a particular episode? Well, you're wrong, so add more. And, uh, preferably not Dan's. Love ya, Dan, but in the words of Tank (whom we'll surely be seeing in the weeks to come ), PASS! To summarize, then, base score of 5,000,000 for the mental image the song conjures up, minus 4,999,996 for the lack of Crista's midriff, and minus 0.5 for the lack of Arden's midriff. Yes, this is just another one of my cutesy ways of making a point, and yes, if you haven't figured it out by now, I'm FURIOUS!

Political Smear Ad: John McCain: Since it's only fitting that I follow-up my longest review to date with my shortest, feast your eyes upon *this* wordfest: Thumbs up!

Political Smear Ad: Barack & Hillary: Somehow, I knew this was coming, and somehow, I knew it wouldn't live up to its predecessor. Why must I always be right? The joke was told, the point was made, and yet, you guys just *had* to come back for seconds, didn't you? Well, for following the exact same formula, not introducing anything new, and failing to provide as many laughs as the original, here's the best I can offer:

Kim Jong-Il & Friends: "Yes, I Can": So, I spent a good portion of time trying to figure out the crux of the joke here so I could tear it apart in my review, but, uh... there doesn't appear to be one. Unless this baby required prior knowledge of the original video to truly hit home, in essence, all we have here is Kim Jong-Il yelling over a laundry list of actors and musicians in a barely coherent and rarely amusing fashion. I know you guys are trying to get as much mileage out of Bobby as possible before his departure, but this just felt shameless. I mean, what's to like here? "I can sing just like American Idol's Paula Abdul"? Hey, good for you, old bean! "Yes, I do have a George Foreman cooker"? Oh, I get it -- it's funny because it rhymes! As long as we're making pointless bullet lists, let it be known that I can eat while watching TV, brush my teeth to the beat of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star", and masturbate in the shower. Yes, I can! The primary difference? I'm guessing at least one of you cracked a smile over *my* list. If there's a saving grace here, it's that Michael's Barry Gibb is always good for a chuckle or two, but then, I suppose it's hard to mess up an impression of Barry Gibb, isn't it? Beyond that? Well, it didn't add anything to the overall effort, but since I passed on mentioning this the first time around in #1312, I'd just like to point out that Crista's soft singing voice is oddly soothing. Certainly a lot more so than one would expect, at least. I'm impressed! And, uh... I guess that's everything. Even what I'm about to award here feels too high, but let's go with a base score of 0.5, plus 0.5 for all seven seconds of Barry Gibb. Yes, I can also piss all over worthless dreck like this with my lowest music video rating to date!

Mannequin vs. Mannequin: Initially, I was going to concede that this was, in fact, an acceptable premise, but then King of Kings pointed out this sketch's striking similarity to the original Mannequin Manslaughter. That raises a bit of a problem for me. See, my mind has apparently blocked out most of McDonald's back-catalog of work (insert your favorite Catholic priest/pedophilia/repressed memories joke here), so it appears I have no choice but to judge this installment solely on its own merits. With that in mind, let's begin by taking a moment to examine the various jokes the man has written for our amusement this time around. First off, Crista's "I was just hoping it would explain some things" line? That was a decent one. Nicole's cult line? Two for two! And how about the one where, uh... the girl says... no, wait. It was the one with... hmm. Oh! Okay, so Crista and Jordan shoot the good mannequin, and then... ah, who am I kidding -- this was a cut-and-dry case of four minutes, two jokes. Now, I appreciate a good sight gag as much as the next person, but a sketch comprised of nothing *but* sight gags? Sorry, that's not gonna do it for me. On the bright side, Michael *was* thoughtful enough to leave the door open for yet another sequel, so perhaps he'll squeeze a third joke in next time around. It's a shame none of the characters here were born with peripheral vision, because it seems to me that such a travesty could've easily been avoided. In any event, this was about as entertaining as it could've possibly been in light of the elements that comprised it, so... congratulations?

Moment of Truth: Maury & Connie: "That's the way that FOX turns five minutes of material into an hour-long program." So... should I even bother with this one? Or should I hire someone to shoot the fish for me? Well, I'll give the writers this much -- as much as I hate Maury & Connie, tossing them into a "Moment of Truth" parody, thereby making them the lesser of all other available evils, is certainly one way of softening the blow. Hey, when life gives you lemons, right? In the very same spirit, let's see if I can find something positive to say here, shall we? Parody-wise, there's precious little that can be done with a show that's already, in essence, a parody of itself, so no luck on that front. Set-wise? Well, I'm tempted to complain about the uninspired use of the stage, but what's the alternative? Shooting in someone's house? Heading out to another one of those dazzling open fields? Ooh, I've got it! Quick, someone grab the green screen and a tank of dry ice -- I think I just had another one of my brilliant ideas! I mean, what's the point? Talk about fish in a barrel! Performance-wise, then? Bobby's Connie, as usual, did absolutely nothing for me here, but Maury's obsession with the "Moment of Truth" tagline (complete with camera zoom and smarmy follow-up smirk), I'll admit, provided for several amusing, ahem, moments. I guess that's something. Overall, this was about as entertaining as it could've possibly been in light of the elements that comprised it, so... congratulations?

Fun with Still Images: VCR Repair Shop #1: This was good for what it was, but I certainly didn't need to see another three minutes worth throughout the night. Do you have ANY idea how many dances Crista could've performed, celebrities she could've yelled at, and keyboard keys she could've clacked as Michelle Dessler in that time!?

Fun with Still Images: VCR Repair Shop #2: Ah, of course -- here we go again! Why can't you guys just leave well enough alone?

Melvin Dufrane: Police Report #1: "Melvin Dufrane", eh? Gotta say, I still prefer "Crazy Black Guy" myself, but I suppose this'll suffice. Thanks for spelling it out for us, Jordan. Anyway, I had a feeling we hadn't seen the last of this character, and sure enough, he's back in full force this week! When I saw the "coming up" promo, I'll admit, I was pumped -- the prospect of a character sketch I might finally be able to get behind was an exciting one indeed -- but then... it aired. See, I wanted to like this a *lot* more than I did, and that, I think, is what killed it for me. Chief amongst my concerns? I wasn't particularly pleased with the direction in which the character was taken here. It seems that, somewhere along the line between #1305 and #1314, Crazy Black Guy lost a significant portion of his crazy, and now, he's just kind of a dick. This detracts from his likeability, which, in turn, detracts from the sketch's humor potential, which, in turn, detracts from memorability, which, ultimately, makes this nothing more than the latest misfire in Jordan's quest to build a legacy for himself. I continue to pull for you, dude, but despite my hopes that, with your departure looming, this would be the night you'd *finally* make your mark, I can't help but feel like, with a few more tweaks, this could've been something truly special. With all that being said, though, I'm glad ol' Mellow Mel's back, I'm glad he was fleshed out a little further here, and I'm glad to see he's still rockin' his trademark halfro. Even though his second outing fell well short of my expectations, I think I'll go ahead and award a solid four nonetheless; after all, this was -- say it with me, everyone -- about as entertaining as it could've possibly been in light of the elements that comprised it.

The Rude Jew Mattress Store: Michael McDonald, I have but three words for you. Care to venture a guess as to what they might be? If you said "GO #$*%@ YOURSELF!", you'd be absolutely... incorrect. Actually, once again, I don't have any strong feelings one way or the other about this segment. I mean, what's there to say here? For two minutes straight, Michael tells us to go "#$*%@" ourselves, which, I guess, is kind of a funny gag, and then... the next sketch airs. Fantastic. Way to rock our worlds, folks! In return for this timeless piece of Americana, please accept my universal score of indifference:

Fashion Surprise!: As I see it, when presented with such a raging pair of douchebaggerific characters, there can be no middle-ground in terms of audience reaction -- we're either going to love 'em or hate 'em. Personally? If I see Leandro and Toni even once more, I just might shoot myself. Nicole and Jordan both turn in great performances here, but the intro alone was enough to swiftly and permanently kill these characters for me ("SURPRIIIIISE!" ), and in my eyes, at least, the rest of the sketch suffered as a result. The positive? Well, I *did* like the premise, and I *will* concede that it wouldn't have worked nearly as well as it did had the hosts not been so over-the-top in their douchedom; still, there was such an impossibly fine balance that needed to be struck here to make this a truly worthwhile offering, and I'm afraid that balance simply wasn't achieved. On the bright side, this baby *did* contain a few standout moments -- Oster being kicked out of the van, for example, was good for a few hearty (albeit cheap) laughs, as was Crista's cheesy, infomercial-esque plea for help -- but on the whole, with so much extreme douchery dragging it down, I just can't justify giving this anything higher than three stars. As you might expect, I could've gone as high as 3.5-4 had the hosts been less annoying, and similarly, 4-4.5 wouldn't have been out of the question had Crista been the half-naked one in the chair instead. Since I'm sure we'll be seeing this garbage again in the future despite my wishes (), that's something you guys might want to keep in mind. Finally, as long as I'm calling out crew members this week, here's a quick note to the editors: For the love of all that's holy, brush up on your chroma keying technique! If that means taking a week off to read up on current methods, do so; if that means switching to blue-screen, do so; if that means pirating a new, more accurate Premiere plugin, do so. Whatever it takes, in the year 2008, this level of aliasing simply isn't acceptable, and I don't want to see it again.

Eat Less, Move More: Well, as pleased as I was to see yet another one of my wishes granted here (third week in a row, baby!), I have to admit, this isn't quite the Chubby Crista I was hoping for. Anyway, I'm sure this sounded like a good idea on paper and all, but in practice, there just wasn't enough to it to fill the allotted time. Concept over comedy. Again, if you're unable to fully flesh out your concept, it *must* be scrapped. If I hadn't just spent the past five pages ranting about similar wastes of time, boy, would you guys be in for it! As is, though, I'm feeling a little drained, so let's instead take a brief moment of silence for all those who surely put a gun in their mouth and pulled the trigger after being subjected to two entire minutes of Crista's fat woman voice. That fake nose must've been constricting my poor girl's breathing, because good lord, I don't think I've ever heard such a nasally voice outside of an emergency ward. Someone get this girl an extra-strength Claritin, STAT! But, I digress. Getting back to the review, TWAAEAICPBILOTETCI. I'd explain the acronym, but I'm sure you all know the drill by now.

Melvin Dufrane: Police Report #2: I didn't need to see this again in the same episode after being disappointed the first time around, but Melvin's third outing was short enough that I'll begrudgingly stick to the four I awarded above. That said, if this isn't the last we've seen of him, please, BRING BACK THE CRAZY!

Fun with Still Images: VCR Repair Shop #3: The fact that this cut into precious Crista ogling time aside, I suppose it was a solid conclusion to this week's batch of uninspired filler. Again, good for what it was, but Jesus tap-dancing Christ, STOP WASTING OUR TIME.

Overall: I think I had more fun writing my review this week than I did watching the episode, and that pretty much says it all, doesn't it? Just about everything here was middle-of-the-road trash, and even when the worthwhile segments came out to play, they consistently fell short of their potential. Again, this is *NOT* good enough, folks. Scoring average dictates #1314 should receive a 5.5, but I can't in all good conscience rate this episode above #1313, so I'm dropping it down a point to 4.5/10 for being so horribly, horribly underwhelming. The only positive thing I could say here is that, like #1312, cast utilization was excellent this week, but with such piss-poor material, it hardly even matters. Anyway, now that I've torn just about everyone on the cast and crew a new asshole, it's high time I recharged the ol' mental pistons. Don't want to see this again next week? Well, here's a thought -- don't give me such an inexhaustible supply of ammunition.

Episode MVP: Of the four cast members who did anything of note this week -- Nicole, Jordan, Michael, and Bobby -- Nicole is the one I least wanted to smack throughout the night, so I'm making her my MVP of #1314. Part of me wanted to hand this episode to Jordan instead, but because Nicole had a writing credit and was the lesser of the two douches in "Fashion Surprise!", the scale tipped ever so slightly in her favor.

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Old 04/25/2008, 8:18 PM
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Wow, that was epic even by my standards. With all the energy I've expended here, it sure would be nice if the rest of you followed suit with something.

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Old 04/25/2008, 10:42 PM
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That review was massive! I agree %100 with you that the Mad tv writers choose concept over comedy. They think that putting on a sketch like Mannequin or Fashion Surprise is enough to get laughs, but if there are no jokes, no one's going to laugh except the audience at the Music Box Theater. There were more jokes in one of Bunifa's sketches than in the entire season.
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Old 04/30/2008, 6:17 PM
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i've voted for girlicious as my fave sketch from the ep.i think it was cristas gigantic hoops that really did it for me.they were hilarious.

michael & bobby kissing = awkwardness but funnies

everything else was...alright.not too many lols from me

MVP: i was nearly gonna give this one to michael mcdonald,shock and horror.in the end though i'm going with Jordan.
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Old 06/21/2008, 8:49 PM
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This is actually the episode that got me into MADtv so much. Girlilicious is really hilarious, so was Fashion Surprise and the Kim Jong Il video.
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Old 06/23/2008, 11:45 AM
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The Rude Jew Mattress Store
two minutes of "go **** yourself" isn't funny at all.

Moment of Truth: Maury & Connie
bland filler.

Fun with Still Images: VCR Repair Shop #1
there were two funny moments in the whole skit. for one minute of material, that's nowhere close to acceptable.

Fun with Still Images: VCR Repair Shop #3
well, uh, there really wasn't much you could have done with the concept in the first place.

Mannequin vs. Mannequin
lots of repeated gags that really shouldn't be there. the same gimmick just gets annoying after awhile.

Fun with Still Images: VCR Repair Shop #2
not gutbusting, but it's acceptable.

Eat Less, Move More
2/5 plus a bonus point for seeing Crista stuff herself.

Political Smear Ad: John McCain
don't see the point of the Swift Boat gag, but still funny.

Political Smear Ad: Barack & Hillary
i'm going to be remembering this one for a while. the cheap gags are hilarious.

Kim Jong-Il & Friends: "Yes, I Can"
kind of overgimmicked.

The Pussycat Dolls: Girlicious
it's amazing how well this fits the real show. Crista ruled big-time, and Dan was really funny as Mark McGrath. Lik Me Up was hilarious too.

Melvin Dufrane: Police Report #1
nice to see Jordan here.

Fashion Surprise!
i just love what idiots the two hosts are. this was really funny.

Melvin Dufrane: Police Report #2
see report #1.

NUTSHELLED: Some skits nail it, others miss. All in all, it was one of the best episodes of Season 13, however. MADtv needs to work on producing more good skits and less filler. In any case, I'd definitely watch it again.

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Old 09/09/2008, 7:01 PM
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Girlicious - This sketch was pretty dumb. Most notably for the facts that no one has the inability to sneeze AND stay dead for two weeks then come back to life like that! - 1/5

John McCain 1 - This sketch was hilarious. - 4/5

John McCain 2 - Even more hilarious - 4.5/5

Yes I Can - Not as good as the "Crazy" parody - 3/5

Mannequin vs. Mannequin - Kudos for the slow-motion fight scenes. De-kudos for the cute blonde getting knifed. Re-kudos for one of the police officers for actually believing the mannequin myth. - 4.5/5

Moment of Truth - This sketch was all kinds of funny. So funny I can't explain it all. Let's just say Fox's "5 min + suspense buildup = 1 hr" equation calculated by Maury made the sketch funnier. - 5/5

VCR 1 - Meh. - 2.5/5

VCR 2 - Double meh. - 2.5/5

Melvin Dufrane 1 - If this sketch made sense, Dufrane would've avoided arrest if he just said someone stole his weed. But his list of illegal activity and his arrest for it made the sketch so funny, I didn't care what I criticized next. - 5/5

Rude Jew - GO F*CK YOURSELF, RUDE JEW! - 2.5/5

Fashion Surprise - Lane getting payback was what made this sketch what it is. - 3/5

Eat Less Move More - That's really good advice. It was as good as the sketch. And just as funny too. - 4/5

Melvin Dufrane 2 - Worse than the first. - 2/5

VCR 3 - Funnier than the first 2. - 4/5

OVERALL: 9/10. Mainly for the John McCain ads, Connie Chung's Moment of Truth, and Dufrane's illegal explanations.
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Old 09/09/2008, 11:54 PM
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Originally Posted by PokeNirvash View Post
Girlicious - This sketch was pretty dumb. Most notably for the facts that no one has the inability to sneeze AND stay dead for two weeks then come back to life like that! - 1/5
Well, it IS just a sketch...

Gimme Crista or gimme nothing!
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Old 09/13/2008, 6:46 PM
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Originally Posted by edkedkedk View Post
Well, it IS just a sketch...
Yeah, It's supposed to be funny. Mostly because everybody's problems on those types of shows are either INCREDIBLY INSIGNIFICANT or just plain DUMB!

Check out my YouTube.
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