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  #1  
Old 04/02/2005, 10:36 PM
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Dartanian Male Dartanian is offline
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Default Shopping for a Prom Dress at TJ Maxx (#820)

Starring:
Stephnie Weir: Mrs. Sanchez
Jill Michele Melean: Shalya Jasmine Sanchez


(Mrs. Sanchez is sitting in the waiting area of a TJ Maxx changing room, while her daughter is trying on a prom dress)

Mrs. Sanchez: Which one are you trying on first?

Shayla: The red one.

Mrs. Sanchez: I don't remember a red one!

Shayla: You know, the popular one Britney Spears wore to the Grammy Awards. (Shayla comes out of the dressing room and starts posing in front of the mirror) This is awesome!

Mrs. Sanchez: Shayla! That is not a prom dress. Honey, that is a whore's dress! And your father would agree with me if he wasn't too busy with his other family.

Shayla: I hate you so much right now. This is the first dress that I ever felt pretty in!

Mrs. Sanchez: You do look pretty; pretty much like a whore.

Shayla: Fine! I'll try on that stupid retarded dress YOU want me to wear. (storms off into changing room)

Mrs. Sanchez: Don't say retarded! Your cousin Victor is retarded... he has to sit on the toilet with a helmet! You want some kettle corn Shayla? Kettle corn makes it all better.

Shayla: No! I want the red dress!

Mrs. Sanchez: Don't push me Shayla! Don't push me, I'm not in the mood! Just try on the dress that I liked.

Shayla: It's ugly! 'm not coming out and humiliating myself in front of everyone.

Mrs. Sanchez (sarcastically): Attention TJ Maxx shoppers, Shayla Jasmine Sanchez is throwing a little tantrum in dressing room number 3.

Shayla: Mother, please!

Mrs. Sanchez: Well then, stop it and get out here.

(Shayla comes out in a puffy white dress with purple frills, looking upset)

Mrs. Sanchez: Oh baby, look at my baby! Shayla! Look at you, you look like you just stepped out of a dream!

Shayla: I look like I just stepped out of a pile of shi-

Mrs. Sanchez: Hey, hey! Don't say that.

Shayla: What? I didn't curse!

Mrs. Sanchez: You were going to.

Shaya: B.F.D.

Mrs. Sanchez: Shayla!

Shayla: What? They're initials!

Mrs. Sanchez: Right, but I- I know they stand for, and it's not Big Fart Disease like you told me.

Shayla: Mom, seriously, I can't wear this. Look, there's one more dress, can I please try it on?

Mrs. Sanchez: Oh, alright. But hurry up, I've gotta go to Sears and buy some tyres and some perfume. Sure you don't want some kettle corn, Shayla?

Shayla: No! (Shayla comes out of the dressing room in a tattered black shirt, a boob tube and a white hat and starts posing in the mirror again)

Mrs. Sanchez: Where did you get that?

Shayla: In the teen section. It's what Christina Aguilera wore to the Music Video Awards.

Mrs. Sanchez: Take it off before you get hepatitis!

Shayla: Mom!

Mrs. Sanchez: I am dead serious! That belongs in a porn store, next to rubber genetalia. I mean it! You'd get that outfit outta that store, the store behind Shoney's where I used to buy... nevermind. Just get it off. I'd rather buy you that red thing!

Shayla: Really? So you'd buy it for me, really?

Mrs. Sanchez: Oh... alright.

Shayla: Aaaaaaah! (hugging her Mom) I love you, I love you so much! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Mrs. Sanchez: You know, I wore a red dress to prom once. I hiked it up in the back of a Trans Am and I got pregnant with you. Ok, let's go to sears so we can buy you a panty girdle.

Shayla: I want a thong.

Mrs. Sanchez: You're not getting a thong.

Shayla: Why?

Mrs. Sanchez: 'Cause that's butt-floss. You're not wearing butt-floss.

Shayla: But I want one!

Mrs. Sanchez: Don't push me Shayla!
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  #2  
Old 04/02/2005, 11:47 PM
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i thought at one point durin the sketch she said like.."..kettle corn makes it all better" or something..I might just be blind and I missed it or something. but I dont think its in there.

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Old 04/03/2005, 6:08 AM
elscorcho Male elscorcho is offline
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yay...second best to finally seeing this sketch again is reading the transcript! oh well it airs in two weeks here
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Old 04/03/2005, 3:11 PM
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Thanks Nik I missed that part.

And elscorcho... nice avatar.

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  #5  
Old 04/03/2005, 3:13 PM
elscorcho Male elscorcho is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jim_Cockhurtz
And elscorcho... nice avatar.
Thanks Kurt!
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  #6  
Old 04/03/2005, 3:14 PM
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How... unoriginal of you.

Anyway, Jan > Marsha.

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  #7  
Old 04/03/2005, 3:15 PM
elscorcho Male elscorcho is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jim_Cockhurtz
How... unoriginal of you.

Anyway, Jan > Marsha.
Ya know...I do like Jan better than Marsha, but would two Jan avatars be a good idea?
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  #8  
Old 04/03/2005, 3:16 PM
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NO!... but two Alice avatars would make me laugh.

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