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View Poll Results: What was your Favourite Sketch of 1407?
Opening: Soup Kitchen Nightmares #1-2 8 34.78%
New Music 4 17.39%
Nacho Buys Rock Solid Bank #1-2 3 13.04%
Lap Dancing with the Stars #1-3 1 4.35%
Black Racket 0 0%
Too into Guitar Hero 3 13.04%
Bae Sung: Superbowl Halftime Show 2 8.70%
A Brittle Brit British 1 4.35%
Closing: Crista and Cast 1 4.35%
Voters: 23. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 10/25/2008, 5:43 PM
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Default Episode S14E07 (Aired 2008-11-15)

Soup Kitchen Nightmares #1
Gordon Ramsey (Eric Price) comes into a charity soup kitchen and is disgusted by how it is being run. When discussing the menu to the nun running the kitchen (Nicole Parker), he questions if the kitchen is in a concentration camp, and calls on pastor Tim (Bobby Lee) to get some items from the market like tomato's and 5 whole chickens. The scene switches to Ramsey tasting some soup that the nun has made up from a recipe he gave her. He gets angry when he finds out that there is no veal in it. When she tells him that it was too expensive, he threatens to smack the wholly sprit out of her. As he smacks the pot off the stove she does a prayer for God to help her and help Ramsey. When he finds her and the pastor praying for him he gets down on his knees and prays to the "invisible man in the sky" to strike the nun down with lightening. The next scene shows the restaurant changed into a high class dining facility with the homeless looking through the window and the nun and Pastor Tim dressed in much more revealing clothing. When the cameraman asks her if she hates Gordon, she says no because she takes solace in the fact that he will burn in Hell. The scene then switches to Gordon, angry that she is now getting rid of the high class for the poor, and tells her that she will wish that she was never born, and tells the viewers to tune in the next week.

Credits: Nicole Parker (Nun), Skoti Collins (Homeless Man #1) Eric Price (Gordon Ramsay), Bobby Lee (Tim), Andray Johnson (Homeless Man #2)

New Music
Keegan welcomes a guest to the show Lisa Gerard (Nicole Parker), a singer who does the dramatic hymns to the movies for death and roman fighting scenes among others. She has the ability to make any scene look dramatic. The reason why she is on the show is because since she has done music for so many hit shows and movies, they asked her to do a soundtrack for MADtv so that the show will be taken more seriously, and because the show really need an award. A complication of MADtv sketches are then shown with the music over it. Keegan then pleads to anybody giving out awards to please give one to MADtv. As he begins to speak Lisa starts singing, and Keegan mentions things like they have been on for 14 years, and begins to get on his knees. He says that they have worked as hard as they can, and that there crap is at their premium. He then pretends to be shot at, and falls to the stage.

Credits: Keegan-Michael Key (Himself), Nicole Parker (Lisa Gerard)

Soup Kitchen Nightmares #2
Gordon returns to get his bag and is swarmed by the homeless men sent by the nun. She then tells them all to eat him as she looks pleasantly on as the homeless men devour him.

Credits: Eric Price (Gordon Ramsay), Nicole Parker (Nun), Andray Johnson (Homeless Man #2)

Nacho Buys Rock Solid Bank #1
News reporter Janice McCallister (Erica Ash) reports from outside Rock Solid Bank which after being bought out by countless of other banks, which also folded and were bought by other banks. Janice is reporting on the lines of bank customers waiting at the banks. A person she asks to talk to is Nacho Hernandez (Johnny Sanchez). He talks about how people call him Lil' Joker, due to the joker tattoo on his neck and how cool it is that he is on TV again, he gives dedications to his parents and dealer, which he was just joking about because he is a dealer, which he was also joking about. He then gives a real shout out to Selma Hyack. When Janice asks him how he feels about the US government’s $750,000,000,000 bailout, he says that all you really need is a quarter to call your buddies from prison when you need bailing you out. When she asks him if his friends are afraid of losing their homes, he says that they have already lost a lot of homes this year due to drive by shootings, which was just a joke. He then introduces his crew. Piggy Bank because he has a scar on his head, Coffee Mug because he only has one ear, Clock because one of his hands is shorter than the other, and Big Puppet because during a cavity search at the border, the officer got his hand stuck up his butt. When she asks him if he is here to close out an account, he responds with that he is there to buy the building and change it into an auto mechanic, upholstery, and taqueria. It will also have a tunnel to Mexico to get special packages and relatives, which was again just a joke. Janice has finally had enough of Nacho's jokes, and tells him that people are seriously losing their livelihoods. Nacho then gets serious and says that the nation is in a depression, but the nation he is referring to is Raider nation of the Oakland Raiders football team. Nacho then feels that Janice is trying to hold in her laughter, and compares her to a Jack-in-the-Box, because on the outside she's a square but on the inside she wants to come out and be silly. She then admits that maybe there is room for jokes in these rough times.

Credits: Erica Ash (Janice McCallister), Johnny Sanchez (Nacho "Lil Joker" Hernandez)

Lap Dancing with the Stars #1
Tom Bergeron (Matt Braunger), and Samantha Harris (Nicole Parker) introduce Lap Dancing with the Stars. They introduce the first couple. A lap dance expert and Japanese business man Koyoshi Foganashi (Bobby Lee), and Jo (Lauren Pritchard) from Super Nanny. The lap dance they perform is the Vietnamese Pump and Grind, which involves Jo grinding around Koyoshi and blowing his nose. Judge Bruno Tonioli (Johnny Sanchez) gives them a 4 because she wasn't nasty in a boner making way. Jo thinks that this is not acceptable. And Len Goodman (Eric Price) gave it a 1 due to Jo's boobs not being close enough to Koyoshi's face, and because there was no fake phlashio on Jo's part. The next contestant is a pregnant Jamie Lynn Spears (Arden Myrin) and her frat brother Todd Stoop who do the Quick Step Ball Sack Boogie. Which involves Jamie crawling around and doing the worm. Len loved how Jamie shacked her mess. When Jamie's mucus plug breaks Tom decide that that is as good a time as any to take a commercial.

Credits: Nicole Parker (Samantha Harris), Matt Braunger (Tom Bergeron), Bobby Lee (Koyoshi Foganashi), Lauren Pritchard (Jo Frost), Johnny Sanchez (Bruno Tonioli), Eric Price (Len Goodman), Arden Myrin (Jamie Lynn Spears)

Black Racket
Serena Williams is practicing when she gets a call from Barack Obama (Keegan-Michael Key) that the Russians are developing nuclear weapons again, and that they have stolen his Ballistic and Laser Launching Satellite codenamed B.A.L.L.S. He asks Serena to please get his balls back in his hands because the plans are being held by Alisa Karbelnikov (Nicole Parker) her arch rival in tennis. She then transforms into Black Racket, along with her ball boy Ping Pong (Bobby Lee). They get on a racket hovercraft and fly to Russia. They then go to Alisa's headquarters where after Serena and Alisa trade tennis oriented insults at each other, they challenge each other to a tennis match for B.A.L.L.S. When Serena arrives at the court she finds out that she is not facing Alisa, but her student Amelene Malenslo (Matt Braunger). Who is so strong that she can crush a tennis ball between her legs. Serena is dominating the match when Alisa gives Amelene a grenade tennis ball. Amelena pulls the pin and serves it, but Serena just hits it right back and blows a hole through Amelene stomach. Alisa turns over the plans, and Ping Pong and Serena return to America.

Credits: Serena Williams (Herself/Black Racket), Bobby Lee (Himself/Ping Pong), Nicole Parker (Alisa Karbelnikov), Matt Braunger (Amelena Malenslo)

Lap Dancing with the Stars #2
The last couple of the night is Gilbert Godfred (Crista Flanagan) and his dance partner bachelorette Iesha Washington (Erica Ash), performing the Chattanooga Dry Hump. Gilbert opens by saying that he has no business being there and starts his routine which involves crawling around, dry humping Iesha, and liking her arm. Bruno loves it and would pay $3,000,000 for a lap dance by Gilbert. He then proclaims Gilbert the winner. Len agrees, and Gilbert wins.

Credits: Nicole Parker (Samantha Harris), Matt Braunger (Tom Bergeron), Crista Flanagan (Gilbert Godfred), Erica Ash (Iesha Washington), Johnny Sanchez (Bruno Tonioti), Eric Price (Len Goodman)

Nacho Buys Rock Solid Bank #2
Nacho buys the bank and changes it to Lil' Joker's Custom Auto Paint, Upholstery and Taqueria. They got fake Id's, carpets, tacos, clean license plates, car trade ins, and custom body work, on cars, trucks and ladies, but he is just kidding. He uses Clock to show his time of day which is from 9:00A.M, to 6:00 P.M. With Clocks smaller hand at the 6 position it looks like he could be playing with himself.

Credits: Johnny Sanchez (Nacho "Lil Joker" Hernandez)

Too into Guitar Hero
The scene is set at a party when a man comes in asking if anyone is ready to rock. One of the party goers (Eric Price) says that it is his buddy Dom from work who has come over to teach everyone how to play Guitar Hero. He then picks someone to play the guitar (Keegan-Michael Key), and someone to play the drums (Erica Ash). When they fail as many people do on their first time playing the game, Dom is mad, and replaces the man on guitar with another party goer (Crista Flanagan) after she insults him on his penis size which he takes as moxie. She assumes the guitar position but also fails. When she is replaced and says that Guitar Hero is just a game Dom goes crazy. When he friend who brought him to the party says that he thinks that Dom is taking the game a little too seriously, Dom thinks he is taking it way to seriously. He then insults the drummer for eating cake instead of playing. Then a party goer named Brad (Johnny Sanchez) who left the room for a second returns saying that he is 4th on the world leader board, and that his name is Captain Dope. This is who Dom has been waiting to play with. They start to play when his wife who was the drummer tells Brad that it is time to go. This starts a chain of everyone else wanting to leave. He then leaves saying that he is going to go solo, leaving his Guitar Hero game behind. The second he is gone they all grab the system and begin playing as it turns out that there terrible playing was all an act.

Credits: Eric Price (Man #1), Erica Ash (Lady #1), Crista Flanagan (Lady #2), Johnny Sanchez (Brad), Keegan-Michael Key (Man #2), Matt Braunger (Dom)

Bae Sung: Super Bowl Halftime Show
A man named Mr. Bolt (Keegan-Michael Key) from the Tampa Bay Chamber of Comers comes is meeting with a man named Mr. Ye Mao who produced the opening ceremonies for the 2008 Summer Olympics in China. Mr. Bolt is about to ask Mr Mao to produce the Super Bowl XXXXIII when the translator begins to choke and has to be sent to the hospital. Mr Bolt's pleads if anyone in the restaurant is a translator that can speak to Mr. Mao for him. Bae Sung (Bobby Lee) steps in. When Mr. Bolt asks if Mr. Mao can do the Super Bowl halftime show, Bae Sung responds with yes. When Mr. Bolt asks Mr. Mao what his vision is, Bae Sung's translation is confusing as it says that Mr. Mao wants something along the lines of an anchor belt, with the movie The Day the Earth Stood Still, fire milk, butter elk, pie, and a race car tree. As Mr. Bolt tries to understand what he is saying Bae Sung responds with his signature catchphrase uh-oh hot dog. The scene then switches to the Super Bowl where commentator Al Michaels (Matt Braunger) is mystified by the halftime show which involves Fonsey balloons being chased by a belt that formed into anchor, Gort from The Day the Earth Stood Still standing in molten milk being lapped up by butter elk, dancing pies, and tree race cars. The grand finale of the disastrous halftime show is 220 men in hot dog suits coming together to spell UH-OH HOT DOG.

Credits: Keegan-Michael Key (Mr. Bolt), Simon Rhee (Zhang Yimou), Crista Flanagan (Doctor), Erica Ash (Pilot), Johnny Sanchez (Cobbler), Bobby Lee (Bae Sung), Matt Braunger (Al Michaels)

A Brittle Brit British
A video for the British tourism board airs showing how great Britain is with its culture, history, food, clothing, and people. The video has appearances by known British celebrities like Amy Winehouse (Nicole Parker) who is living in a dumpster, Lily Allen (Arden Myrin) who throws up on herself, Gordon Ramsey who is disgusted by the way the food is prepared, and Naomi Campbell (Erica Ash) who beats up Kate Moss (Crista Flanagan) when she interrupts her. The whole video is narrated by Queen Elizabeth II (Lauren Pritchard) who says that everyone has a brittle brit of British in them.

Credits: Lauren Pritchard ("Queen" Elizabeth Mary II), Nicole Parker (Amy Winehouse), Arden Myrin (Lily Allen), Eric Price (Gordon Ramsay), Erica Ash (Naomi Campbell), Crista Flanagan (Kate Moss),

Lap Dancing with the Stars #3
The stage is cleared as Samantha and Tom are told they can go. Tom then opens a box and puts Samantha in it as she says things like "why am I famous?" and "there are words coming out of my mouth". Tom closes the box.

Credits: Matt Braunger (Tom Bergeron), Nicole Parker (Samantha Harris)

Crista Closes
Crista closes.

Credits: Crista Flanagan (Herself), Keegan-Michael Key (Himself), Bobby Lee (Himself), Arden Myrin (Herself), Nicole Parker (Herself), Johnny Sanchez (Himself), Erica Ash (Herself), Matt Braunger (Himself), Eric Price (Himself), Lauren Pritchard (Herself)
---


Starring:
  • Crista Flanagan (3A/2S/0W/0AF)
  • Keegan-Michael Key (3A/2S/0W/0AF)
  • Bobby Lee (4A/1S/0W/0AF)
  • Arden Myrin (4A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Nicole Parker (8A/2S/1W/0AF)
  • Johnny Sanchez (5A/2S/0W/0AF)
---

Featuring:
  • Erica Ash (6A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Matt Braunger (6A/1S/0W/0AF)
  • Eric Price (5A/2S/0W/0AF)
  • Lauren Pritchard (2A/1S/0W/0AF)
---

Guest Starring:
  • Serena Williams (0A/1S/0W/0AF)
---

Special Appearance:
  • Skoti Collins (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Andray Johnson (2A/0S/0W/0AF)
  • Simon Rhee (1A/0S/0W/0AF)
---

Legend:
  • (A)cting Credits
  • (S)tarring Credits
  • (W)riting Credits
  • Non-Speaking Role
  • (A)rchive (F)ootage
---

Last edited by tvmanismadformad; 04/19/2016 at 3:50 AM. Reason: Reformatted
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  #2  
Old 10/25/2008, 6:22 PM
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Ehhh. MADtv's new episodes just sound worser and worserer.

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  #3  
Old 10/26/2008, 2:15 AM
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Serina Williams? What is this, MADtv seeing that SNL put Michael Phelps on in September so it's there way of saying ok SNL we see your 8 this year Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps and we raise you this past Olympics gold medalist Serina Williams?

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Old 10/26/2008, 12:14 PM
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I wonder if she'll suck as bad as Phelps.
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Old 10/26/2008, 12:56 PM
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I wonder if she'll suck as bad as Phelps.
Oh she probably will.

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Old 10/26/2008, 7:48 PM
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Well, on the plus side, she'll only be in one or two sketches.

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Old 10/27/2008, 2:07 AM
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Does anyone else notice how bad the quality of guest stars have gotten now? Remember when they were able to get guests like Seth Green, David Borianez, and Susan Surrandon. Now all they can seem to get is these kind of guest stars like the aformentioned, Audrina Patridge, and Kat Von D. We need more high quality guest stars. I mean MADtv is on Fox here, not a low grade network like Spike TV, or CiniMAX.

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  #8  
Old 10/27/2008, 2:53 AM
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Originally Posted by tvmanismadformad View Post
Does anyone else notice how bad the quality of guest stars have gotten now? Remember when they were able to get guests like Seth Green, David Borianez, and Susan Surrandon. Now all they can seem to get is these kind of guest stars like the aformentioned, Audrina Patridge, and Kat Von D. We need more high quality guest stars. I mean MADtv is on Fox here, not a low grade network like Spike TV, or CiniMAX.
Well to your statement, MADtv has always had GUEST STARS until Season 13.

Season 14 had Audrina who is like the 3rd famous girl on THE HILLS lol

They will be having NE-YO which is a shocker lol because i expect him on SNL, but MAD series needs to let him Perform and change the format for the musical guest.

Lets Just Hope Viewership Maintains at a FOX Level lol
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Old 10/27/2008, 8:44 AM
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get Gordon Ramsay on here and have him do a Hell's Kitchen knockoff.
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Old 10/28/2008, 2:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tvmanismadformad View Post
Does anyone else notice how bad the quality of guest stars have gotten now? Remember when they were able to get guests like Seth Green, David Borianez, and Susan Surrandon. Now all they can seem to get is these kind of guest stars like the aformentioned, Audrina Patridge, and Kat Von D. We need more high quality guest stars. I mean MADtv is on Fox here, not a low grade network like Spike TV, or CiniMAX.
LOL. MADtv is barely a b-grade show. While it may be on FOX, it isn't a show that gets much support from the network, although they do get the occassional FOX star to appear. They don't pay their guest stars anything, and they won't get any great publicity from the appearance, so why should they appear??

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Old 10/28/2008, 10:40 AM
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Who on Earth is this athlete? I have no clue. The guests are getting more and more obscure.

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Old 10/29/2008, 7:48 PM
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Who on Earth is this athlete? I have no clue. The guests are getting more and more obscure.
She is a kick-ass tennis player. I am a huge fan of her tennisness, but I doubt she has any comedic value whatsoever.

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Old 10/29/2008, 8:01 PM
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Who on Earth is this athlete? I have no clue. The guests are getting more and more obscure.
You know edk, I often think that you were born on a deserted island and you only got off it this year, because when you say that you don't know someone or something I am always a bit shocked. Like when you said you didn't know what I Love Lucy was. What did they teach you in school? I know History, and Language Arts are important, but American Television trumps all those!

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Old 10/30/2008, 3:09 AM
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Ms WIlliams is actually really famous...

...though i would prefer to see actors guest starring (actually, i would most love ex-cast members guest starring - that would be sure to get the show some ratings...pity they only seem to be interested in bringing them back every 100 episodes (like as if the show will last another 100 eps!)
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Old 10/30/2008, 4:11 AM
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Heh wadda ya expect my man? I am born on a island, but not a deserted one. Sadly.

Anyway, I grew up not being exposed to all these things. Plus they don't teach American Television in school

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Old 11/02/2008, 2:30 PM
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I pretty sure Serena Williams was set to appear last year as a guest, so this is definetly not an answer to Michael Phelps on SNL; maybe just reschedule.

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Old 11/09/2008, 12:29 AM
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Ok, episode #1406 is done so let's talk about the preview for this episode. I am very suspicious of it. 1 because the Robert DeNiro, and Al Pacino were already in my mind perfected by Will, and Frank Cal. and 2 because who ever was playing who sucked. Eric and Johnny don't look anything like Pacino and DeNiro. I don't have high, make that any hopes for this sketch.

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Old 11/10/2008, 2:49 AM
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Hm. Have you ever seen Al Pacino, or hear him speak? Then you should know that 1) Frank Caliendo looks nothing like him, and 2) Frank Caliendo sounds nothing like him. That impression blew major chunks. He does have big eyes, so I guess thats one thing Frank got right. But he doesn't chew gum constantly either. Johnny already has the husky voice, and looks alot more like him than Frank WITHOUT makeup. Although, considering their pathetic attempt to make Arden look like Goldie Hawn, I wouldn't be surprised if all they gave Johnny was a goatee.

Both guys did a great DeNiro, though. But who cares, it's just an impression. I'm surprised if its true that Eric is doing DeNiro - i'd expect it more from Matt.

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Old 11/10/2008, 2:23 PM
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This episode better be REALLY good. They NEED to capitalize on the promo that aired last night because, let's face it--it'll probably be the last time FOX EVER gives MADtv decent promotion like that, at least for a very long time.

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Old 11/11/2008, 3:15 AM
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Well I'm not really sure if the promo will bring in anybody...

Here's hoping!

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