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  #1  
Old 08/10/2008, 3:58 PM
mizzimad Male mizzimad is offline
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Post Nicole Sullivan's Seventeen Saturdays of Superheroes

A day without Nicole Sullivan news is like a day without sunshine -- a notion which lends further credence to my theory that I am indeed a human bottle of talcum powder. For this journalistic foray into the golden lady's equally golden world, we will investigate a new animated series, an upcoming film, and another film which somehow eluded my watchful eye the first time around. (And yes, the requisite hairshirt and wooden paddle-inflicted bruises on my skull provide ample evidence of my shame on that last one.) If you can handle the excitement, then you are in the wrong place, my Sullivan-bashing friend. If, on the other hand, the sheer anticipation of this Nicole news finds you with froth on your upper lip, then read on, fellow mad dog. Just be warned that Nicole's future Oscar or Emmy will likely not come her way as a result of any of the following.

First, we look into Nicole's new animated series, "The Secret Saturdays," which is scheduled to premiere this fall on the Cartoon Network. Although Nicole needs another animated series about as badly as she needs toothpicks through her baby blues, we might as well take a peek at her latest dip into the cartoon pool (easily unsnappable bikini top unfortunately not included):
"In the new comedy-action series created by Jay Stephens; Doc, Drew and Zak Saturday are a family of world-saving adventure scientists called The Secret Saturdays. They live in a hidden base and are part of a network of scientists who protect against all of the underlying evil in world. To the Saturdays, ordinary folk-tales aren't just legends, but real-life mysteries and adventures. Traveling from the hot Gobi Desert to the icy Marianas Trench, they explore ancient temples and bottomless caves and tangle with twisted villains, including the masked madman V.V. Argost and his half-human/half-giant spider.

But aside from the adventures that span the globe, at the end of the day the Saturdays, along with their hyper exotic pets Fiskerton Komodo and Zon, are just a warm, loving family getting through everyday growing pains and squabbles."
Fie, V.V. Argost, thou wretched friend, you will not soon get away with your evil arachnid schemes! Nicole's Drew Saturday (the character she voices in "Secret Saturdays") will avenge thee with her righteous Raid and superstitious baloney. While I continue to shake my fists in mock defiance, I will inform you that twenty-six episodes of this fun-filled fantasy fest are slated to air this fall. Even though the ultimate Nicole Sullivan fantasy fest would obviously consist of none of these things, "The Secret Saturdays" will suffice for those who seek a G-rated equivalent. Anyone who falls into the latter category has my deepest sympathies.

Next on the Nicole agenda, we find out what it is like to be Seventeen Again. Granted, some of us would have to rewind the clock about twenty-two years or so; but that is a story for another time. As far as the movie itself is concerned, the adult incarnation of the guy who wishes to rewrite his life is portrayed by Matthew Perry, a name that will make "Friends" fans rejoice and will inspire horror in those with good taste. Meanwhile, Zac Efron will give the performance of a lifetime as the protagonist's seventeen-year-old incarnation. How does Nicole herself fit into this time travel? Your clueless guess is as good as mine, for no character description appears to be available at this time. Still, we have until February 20th, 2009, to find out since Seventeen Again will not debut in theaters until that date. Perhaps we will know by then whether an ill-timed blink or snore will cause a moviegoer to miss Nicole's part.

Finally, here is one from the "how in the hell did I miss Nicole's role in this the first time around" files: Superhero Movie. Unfortunately, I found a duplicate entry in the "why in the hell should anyone care" files; nonetheless, in case anyone does care, I am electing to see this through. This comedy film (a term used to identify genre, not laughter content) uses Spider-Man as its main target -- and yes, I am finding it nearly impossible to resist the inevitable reference to climbing the walls. According to the review found here, Nicole's Julia Riker character in Superhero Movie is but a wasted cameo; hence, my overwhelming desire to end this paragraph as soon as possible. Although the film itself has been out of theaters for a while now, those who missed it the first time around are in luck. The Superhero Movie came out on DVD about a month ago, and it includes all of the requisite bonus features: an alternate ending, deleted scenes, a tutorial on the "art of spoofing" (an art certainly best learned elsewhere), and a chance to meet the cast. I am guessing, however, that your chances to see Nicole herself in that final segment are about as good as those of your finding the movie hilarious in the first place. Still, if you are looking for a decorative coaster, then Superhero Movie might just fit the bill.

We Nicole Sullivan fans cannot help shedding a tear or two thousand as we witness the "MADtv" alum's rapid ascent to A-list status. What new depths will our beloved blonde comedienne be forced to plummet to in the near future as she continues that ascent? Furthermore, how can one plummet and ascend at the same time? The solutions to these and other quandaries are certainly not too far away.

UPDATE (09/02): According to this article, "The Secret Saturdays" will make its Cartoon Network series premiere on Friday, October 3rd, at 8:00pm EST. Get the Jiffy Pop ready as television history is made.

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Last edited by mizzimad; 09/02/2008 at 1:22 PM. Reason: Original post updated.
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  #2  
Old 08/10/2008, 7:04 PM
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potroastpig Male potroastpig is offline
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Good for Nicole! I love her, she is my favorite cast member ever!

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Old 08/11/2008, 2:02 PM
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cartman2002 Male cartman2002 is offline
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I did see the Superhero film in theater when it came out , and you are right the film was a waste of time.

I would have written a better screenplay when what I saw.
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Old 08/12/2008, 8:59 AM
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edkedkedk Male edkedkedk is offline
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Nicole Sullivan, no matter what I may say to spite mizz, is undeniably talented and should be up there in the A-List. Hope we see the day in which we all can go to a cinema and watch more Nicole Sullivan movies featuring her as a leading lady.

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Old 09/02/2008, 1:22 PM
mizzimad Male mizzimad is offline
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Original post updated...with my usual wry observations.

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