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  #1  
Old 12/15/2004, 9:55 AM
elscorcho Male elscorcho is offline
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Default Bunifa: MTV Dismissed (#724)

Debra Wilson..............Bunifa Latifah Halifah Sharifa Jackson
Taran Killam................Ridge
Jill-Michele Milean........Alexis

(Scene opens with the MTV Dismissed Logo, then shows Ridge)

Ridge: Hey. I知 Ridge, I知 21, and I sell glow sticks. And today I知 goin on a date with two fine chicks, and the one who doesn稚 give me a chub, is dismissed!

(Cuts to Alexis)

Alexis: Hi! I知 Alexis, and I知 20 years old, and a hostess at Applebee痴! And today痴 special is me! Cuz I知 the bomb, y誕ll! This is my time-out card (holds up time-out card). I知 gonna be using it if my competitor gets too close to my date!

(Cuts to Bunifa)

Bunifa: Hi! My name is Bunifa Latifah Halifah Sharifa Jackson, and I知19 years old(looks off camera) Shut up! I am too, you don稚 know me!!!

(Cuts to scene with Bunifa and Ridge)

Bunifa: (starts rubbing up against Ridge) Look at you, you know what you like? Yeah, you like a furry white little kitten! I just wanna play with you, and pet you, and watch you pee in a box!

(Shows a split screen with Ridge and Alexis, and then Bunifa)

Ridge: Both girls are really hotand sweet. And Bunifa seems, like, really hot! But really sweet

(Cuts to scene with Bunifa and Alexis)

Bunifa: What壇 you call me?? (Slaps Alexis in the face) I know you didn稚 call me no ho!!!

Alexis: (puts her hand over her face) I didn稚 call you a ho! I said let痴 go! (Walks away)

Bunifa: Ohsorry (laughs)!

(Cuts to scene with Alexis)

Alexis: Things got off to a rocky start. (She uncovers her face and it has a red handprint on it) But once we got on the razor scooters, it was really fun!

(Cuts to scene with Ridge and Alexis riding side by side on the scooters, and Bunifa trailing behind, struggling to catch up)

Bunifa: Ok, wait up you guys! I SAID WAIT UP! COME ON, WAIT THE F*** UP!!! (Bunifa crashes into a hedge, and emerges) HEYYYY!!!!!!

(Bunifa holds up one of her shoes)

Bunifa: Oh, no you di段nt! Oh, no you di段nt!! Oh, MTVy誕ll are payin for my shoe!! These are $900 dollar Gucci痴!! These are Gucci痴! (Bunifa throws the shoe on the ground and walks away, and the camera zooms in on her shoe, which has a tag that says PAYLESS in the sole.)

(Cuts to scene with Ridge, Bunifa, and Alexis in a hot tub. Ridge is talking to Bunifa, and ignoring Alexis. Bunifa and Ridge start making out, and she sucks on his foot.)

(Cuts to scene with Alexis)

Alexis: Bunifa is rude, slutty, mean, and selfish, and I can tell that Ridge doesn稚 like her at all!

(Returns to scene with the three of them in the hot tub, and Bunifa and Ridge continue to make out, completely ignoring Alexis)

Alexis: (holds up the time-out card) Time-out! Bunifa, I知 calling a time out!

Ridge: Bunifa, Bunifa, she called a time-outshe痴 calling a time-out.

Bunifa: What? What? Oh, alright, okI see what y誕ll are tryin to do! Y誕ll are tryin to send Rosa Parks to the back of the tub! That痴 what y誕ll are tryin to do!!

Alexis: That痴 the rules.

Bunifa: Let me tell you somethin, white girl! You better watch yourself!

Alexis: Hold onI知 not white! I知 Latina!

Bunifa: Only thing tina on you is them boobies! Ridge wants to get with this! Look at that! (Bunifa sticks her chest out) Yeah, my meat balloons! POW!

Ridge: You just need to be cool, Bunifa. Just be cool, and take your time-out over there.

(Bunifa goes to the other side of the tub, while Ridge and Alexis talk)

Alexis: Hey, I wanna tell you about myself. I知 gonna get a degree in hotel-motel management! Cuz, you know, I知 a people person!

(Bunifa starts rubbing Ridge痴 chest with her foot and he starts to ignore Alexis again)

Alexis: Bunifa, stop it!!

Bunifa: I ain稚 sayin nothin!!

Ridge: I致e made my decision! I致e made my decision! I choose Bunifa!

Bunifa: AHH!!! (gets up and starts bouncing around) I WON!! I WON!! OHH THANK YOU MTV I LOVE YOU!!

(Cuts to the MTV Dismissed logo as the sketch ends)
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  #2  
Old 02/19/2005, 9:44 PM
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Dartanian Male Dartanian is offline
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This is my fave Bunifa sketch. Loved Taran and Jill in this, especially Jill.

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  #3  
Old 07/03/2006, 4:36 AM
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Chodogirl Female Chodogirl is offline
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HAHAHHAHAHAA thats the funniest damn thing ever

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