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Old 12/20/2004, 2:25 PM
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newt007 Male newt007 is offline
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Default MTV Diary: "Delicious" Morissette (#1004)

Delicious Morissette- Alanis Morissette
Alanis Morissette- Nicole Parker

(MTV Diary Logo appears)

Narrator: Everybody's sister is getting into the act.

(Jessica and Ashlee Simpson's picture appears)

Narrator: Jessica Simpson's got Ashlee.

(Hilary and Haylee Duff's picture appears)

Narrator: Hilary Duff's got Haylee.

(Britney and Jamie Lynn's picture appears)

Narrator: Britney Spears has got Jamie Lynn. And here's the MTV Diary of America's newest pop sensation...

(Picture of Alanis Morissette appears)

Narrator: Alanis Morissette's little sister, Delicious Morissette.

Delicious: (in "Diary" room) Hey MTV. I'm Delicious. My real name is Janet, but I changed it to Delicious last month when I turned 15, and I divorced myself from my parents. Ugggh.

(the words "divorced my parents" appear on screen, then fades)

Delicious: So that way, when people hear my song on the radio, they'll say, "Isn't that delicious?". Hahahaha. I just thought of that myself! Peace out! (shows peace sign)

(Delicious now in recording studio)

Delicious: (taps opposite end of microphone, and speaks into it) Testing testing. Why don't I hear anything?

(Producer behind glass taps glass, and points to correct side of microphone)

Delicious: Don't you knock at me!! (walks to other side of microphone)

(Alanis walks into recording room)

Delicious: Oh, here's someone (sings out of tune) "outta knooow.." Hehehehe. It's my big sister, Alanis. See how I worked in the title?

Alanis: Yeah, it's great, Delicious. It's great.

Delicious: She sings too!!

Alanis: Hey everyone. Look, remember, it's always about peace through tolerance and nonviolent communication and--

Delicious: (pushes Alanis out of way and moves toward camera) You know, that's great Alanis, but this is my MTV Diary. MEEE!! Hehehehe.

(Delicious back in "Diary" room)

Delicious: I guess I'm a mixture of Eminem, and Missy Elliot, and Mandy Moore. Yeah, mostly Mandy Moore, except I'm younger, and a whole lot sluttier. Hahahahah!

(Word "sluttier" appears on screen, then fades)

Delicious: No, seriously, I am.

(Delicious now on a set, in pajamas)

Delicious: Today we're shooting the video for my new single, Bubble Trouble. Heh. (walks to main stage where bathtub is) I'm ready! Let's get this shizzow on the rizzoad!

(Delicious back in "Diary" room)

Delicious: Oh, I'm like completely tone deaf. And my right ear drum was punctured by a meat thermometer.

(Words "meat thermometer" appear on screen then fade)

Delicious: But I can still lip-synch better than Ashlee Simpson. Plus, I just love dressing like a teenage hooker.

(Camera angle zooms back, and the words "teenage hooker" appear on screen, then fade)

Delicious: And that's what music is all about!

(Delicious now on the set)

Delicious: This is from the heart. I wanted to sing something important to teens everywhere. Okay, lets take it from the top, and in this scene I am getting a bath from the high school basketball team.

(Group of black men walk onto stage)

Delicious: And remember, I'm a dirty, dirty girl. Hehehe.

Music video plays:

I'm a real bad teen, I always get in trouble,
Get pushed down in some mud, now I need to take a bubble
Hey you, hey you.
Scrub me in the tub!
Hey you, yeah you!
I could use a rub!
I am really dirty, so bring in the whole crew,
Heeey you, hey you.
Bubble Trouble.

Cut! Cut!

(music stops)

Delicious: Alanis, your blocking the cue cards!!

Alanis: (walks from camera, to stage) WHAT are you doing?! I was here to support you, but this video is SO degrading. Women are going to be outraged by this.

Delicious: Not Paris Hilton! Not Lindsey Lohan! Not Tara Reid!

Alanis: But Delicious, I can't--


(Alanis flees)

Delicious: Action!

Music video continues:

Hey you, hey you.
Scrub me in the tub!
Hey you, yeah you!
I could use a rub!
I am really dirty, so bring in the whole crew,
Heeey you, hey you.
Bubble Trouble.

(Delicious back in "Diary" room)

Delicious: Well, that's a page from my MTV Diary. I am so proud to be a role model for teenage girls. Well, I'd love to talk more, but I'm late. I'm getting a boob job for my Maxim magazine shoot.

(words "boob job" appear on screen, then fade)

Delicious: Bye MTV!! (waves)

(MTV Diary logo appears)


Selena Luna = Best. Castmember. Ever.

Last edited by newt007; 08/21/2005 at 4:31 PM.
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Old 04/04/2005, 1:10 PM
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Fanta Male Fanta is offline
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Location: Pacific NW USA
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Hahahahah! Thanks, this sketch was so funny!

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