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  #1  
Old 07/26/2004, 5:39 PM
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Default Action News (#915)

Lloyd Buckman- Michael McDonald
Lindsey Cane- Nicole Parker
Sunny Harris- Paul Vogt


Voiceover: From channel two in Chicago this is your Action News with anchors Lloyd Buckman and Lindsey Cane.

Lloyd Buckman: Good evening. Tonights top story, murder on the north side. An Andersonville man was brutally murdered at an ATM. Roy Hawk, a retiree was beaten to death by two men wielding crow bars, a tragic day for one Chicago family. Lindsey.

Lindsey Cane: A man posing as a gas company employee gained entrance to an apartment in the Robert Taylor projects where he stabbed, shot, burned and murdered Levar and Vonda Burg, a young couple just sitting down to dinner, another horrible murder. Lloyd.

Lloyd Buckman: Thank you Lindsey. Triple murder in the loop, an intoxicated off duty police officer murdered three college kids and injured a dozen more when he opened fire on them during a peace rally, he then entered his police cruiser and repeatedly backed over the victims until he ran out of gas. Lindsey.

Lindsey Cane: On a lighter note the circus is in town and thousands turned out for the opening night. The event was marred by the apparent murder suicide of the strong man and his high wire girlfriend. Lets check the weather now, fulling in for Fritz Peters is Sunny Harris.

Sunny Harris: Thank you Lindsey. Our thoughts go out to the Fritz Peters family, Fritz was killed by his fiancÚ as he was trying to murder her. Its gonna be seventy two and cloudy tomorrow, back to you Lindsey.

Lindsey Cane: Guess what? More murders! An entire town was murdered today when they all gathered in the town hall to discuss a way to stop a man who had been murdering them, the man lit the town hall on fire. Lloyd.

Lloyd Buckman: Thank you Lindsey. There is other news tonight folks and we will get to it as soon as we get through these murders. As for the nights broadcast Lindsey i suggest we just edit these stories down to person, place and murder weapon. Alright, ill get things started, (clears throat) two men, pool hall, pool stick, Lindsey.

Lindsey Cane: Thanks Lloyd. One nun, public library, grenade. Lloyd.

Lloyd Buckman: Thank you Lindsey. Three sailors, Knots berry farm, boomerang. Lindsey.

Lindsey Cane: Thank you Lloyd. Football team, brothel, wreaking ball. Lloyd.

Lloyd Buckman: Uh i dunno about you Lindsey but im looking at about four hundred murders here so maybe for time sake we should just list the weapons involved.

Lindsey Cane: Good idea. Piano wire.

Lloyd Buckman: Chainsaw.

Lindsey Cane: Worlds best mom trophy.

Lloyd Buckman: Dab of vaseline.

Lindsey Cane: Malibu barbie doll.

Lloyd Buckman: Cocktail umbrella.

Lindsey Cane: Muffler.

Lloyd Buckman: Muffler.

Lindsey Cane: Muffler.

Lloyd Buckman: Hmm i think we have a serial killer on our hands.

(A gun shot is heard)

Lloyd Buckman: What the hell was that?!

(Shows cameraman dead)

Lindsey Cane: Cameraman, newsroom, gun.

(Lloyd Buckman gets shot in the neck)

Lloyd Buckman: Ahhhh...we have breaking news, beloved news man, local emmy winner and former swimsuit model Lloyd Buckman was shot in the neck today by a crazed gunman.

(Muffler murderer runs in and hits Lloyd on the head)

Lindsey Cane: Theres a break in the muffler murder case today, police are looking for this man (points to muffler murderer as he runs past) s..s..s..see him, he just ran by. (Gets shot in both arms and then her chest) Uh and now more on the crazed gunman, channel two has learned that co anchors Lloyd Buckman and Lindsey Cane have both been shot, hmm pulling a small calibre hand gun from her panty hose, Ms Cane returned fire accidentally killing her executive producer, uh a makeup girl, someone in a green sweater, uh Lloyd Buckman, the muffler murderer, before finally killing the crazed gunman. Well, we'll take a short break and when we come back Buddy Richards will have all the highlights from yesterdays sports murders. (Looking off camera) Ah, can i get a glass of water?


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Last edited by funny_guy; 08/11/2004 at 5:38 AM.
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  #2  
Old 07/26/2004, 5:42 PM
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One of the funniest sketches from this season................

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  #3  
Old 07/26/2004, 5:52 PM
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Yeah it was, i thought that whole episode was great as well.

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  #4  
Old 07/26/2004, 7:43 PM
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yea that ep was awesome! and i didnt like most from this season because mo wasnt in them! but nice job funny_guy!!!!!

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  #5  
Old 07/26/2004, 7:56 PM
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Thanks, funny_guy!

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  #6  
Old 07/26/2004, 8:05 PM
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No problem

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  #7  
Old 07/26/2004, 9:40 PM
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I thought this sketch was stupid, so I just sat here staring at Nicole the whole time.

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  #8  
Old 07/27/2004, 12:17 AM
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Lol Jim, I thought the sketch was great for the most part except the special effects at the end were annoying cause they werent very believable like the Disney sketch in the same ep.

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  #9  
Old 09/15/2008, 8:26 AM
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Watch the sketch here.

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  #10  
Old 11/17/2008, 7:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nicoleparkerfan8 View Post
Watch the sketch here.
Video removed. Watch the sketch here.

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