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Old 07/28/2005, 11:42 AM
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Viper Male Viper is offline
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Default Musical Performance: Frieda O'Keefe (#513)

Will - Himself
Mo - Jasmine
Alex - Unknown Character Name = UCN
Jimi Englund - Drummer

Will:
Hello, I’m Will Sasso



*Audience Cheer*

Oh no no no no no, thank you, thank you
Last Sunday, last Sunday I was hanging out at the Kindred Spirits Coffee House, you know, like I do every Sunday just watching the Ladies come and go and I uh, I saw this band that totally rocked my world. Now, we don’t usually have musical guests on the show, but I begged and begged and begged the Producers to have them on, uh and they said no
So one drunken tantrum and two trashed dressing rooms later, I am pleased to bring to you Frieda O’Keefe!



UCN: Thanks, how are you guys doing?



Jasmine: Thank you!

UCN: Alright, thanks, this song here is about the environment



Jasmine: Vironment



UCN & Jasmine: Only you can prevent forest fires
Said Smokey the Bear
You’re the Toxic waste sign in my heart
And don’t you even care?
Cause Fill My Heart with dirt
You’re an A-Hole and a flirt
Ironise your dirty crime and so will I
You’re a crappy dork and I hope you’ll die!
And I’ll still by your beer!
And I will pay your rent!
I’ll ok that 3 way
And My Smile is my good sense! Jasmine interrupts

Jasmine: WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! WAIT!

UCN: And in the morning when I!

Jasmine: Stop! *shakes the tamberine* sorry



UCN: I lied, I lied

Jasmine: I don’t believe in that song anymore because it’s about Ricardo and the 3 way



UCN: There’s a microphone attached to your face and everyone can hear you



Jasmine: I just I don’t believe in that song anymore you know because of that whole 3 way thing

UCN: That’s fine

Jasmine: *whispers* I'm sorry

UCN: That’s fine, this rehearsal would've been a good time to tell me this.
Let me fill, let you gus, I’ll fill you in a little bit um, Jasmine and I were working last Summer at the Subway Sub Shop as Sandwich Artists

Jasmine: Artistes! *Shakes the tamberine*

UCN: And uh, Ricardo was our Assistant Manager and he was a very proud and sexy Mexican-American man

Jasmine: Sexy Mexican!

UCN: And we both loved his mind and we shared his body
It was a very Spiritual experience

Jasmine: I just felt hung over and really sticky

*whispering into UCN's Mic* I'm sorry

Will: Hey, hey that’s a good story but play Cool Mossy Grass like you did back at the Coffee House!



UCN: Okay, Will thank you very much for having us,

Will: C'MON!

UCN: in our time, in our time baby

Jasmine: Quiet Will



UCN: Anyway as it turns out Ricardo ended up with Jasmine, but that's because it was the summer she wasn't eating you know, whatever, so um, on that note ladies, if you have anorexia...please tell someone



Jasmine: And EAT!
Okay, but don’t talk while you’re eating because it’s rude



and they won’t here your cry for help AHHHHHHH!



UCN: You sound like a complete Idiot! You sound like a vacuous insipid air head! This is why people have no respect for female musicians, this right here, you!



Alright this is a song about Sisterhood

Will: COOL MOSSY GRASS! COOL MOSSY GRASS!
Will & the Audience: COOL MOSSY GRASS! COOL MOSSY GRASS!

UCN: Stop! Stop Will! We are women over here, we dictate our own lives! We are in complete control!



Yes means yes!

Jasmine: And No means.......



UCN: So yes, we’ll uh, sing Cool Mossy Grass for ya

Will: ABOUT FRIGGIN' TIME! YEEAH!!!



UCN: Now this is a song we wrote, it’s called Cool Mossy Grass
We wrote it and it’s called Cool Mossy Grass:




Cool mossy grass
I lay in you
I take you in
The bosom of the earth
Smooth dripping dew
You taste so sweet
Like tofu meat
You’re moist feminine girth
Woman to woman



I gently guide your hand



Down to the forest
The Sweet sweet mossy land





Inside! Come inside!



Come inside!
My Heart!





Will: Frieda O’Keefe!



And you can just imagine what happens next, huh!?
I’ll be in my dressing room for the next 7 minutes, good job!



*Will goes to his dressing room, Frieda O'Keefe remain onstage and continue performing "Cool Mossy Grassy"*

UCN & Jasmine: Woman to Woman
I gently guide your hand
Down to the forest


*Fade out*

---------------------------

Special Thanks to Heather (MOdonna) for providing me with this Awesome one off Sketch,
Helping me with the Transcript and the great Screen Caps

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  #2  
Old 07/28/2005, 3:42 PM
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MissCAngela Female MissCAngela is offline
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This is one of my absolute favorite Madtv sketches

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Old 12/02/2005, 12:52 PM
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i luuvvv this sketch!! i laughed so hard i like fell outta my chair hahahaha and the music itself is pretty good too

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