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Old 02/05/2005, 10:50 AM
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Default American Political Idol(#907)

Howard Dean(HD)-Ike
Al Roker(AR)-Keedan
Paula Zahn(PZ)-Gillian
Bill O'Reilly(BOR)-himself
John Edwards(JE)-Ron
Hilary Clinton(HC)-Nicole
John Kerry(JK)-Michael
George Bush(GB)-Frank
Clay Aiken(CA)-Ron
Narrator(N)

N:Itís that time of year again.When thousands of fresh faced hopefuls put everything on the line to win americaís vote.This is American political idol.Itís down to the finals,some of our contestants have already folded under the pressure.

(Caption:Howard Dean:Lunitic)

HD:I just want to say although Iím no longer activily campaining Iím still a buyable canadate for the presidentcy Because(starts singing)she bang she bang oh baby I move I move Iím the governer from Vermont gonna bring a mission to the white house and the people yeah yeah(continues to sing)

N: Perhaps he was intimidated by our judges(cuts to judges)American Idol has randy Jackson,our formly fat black guy is the today showís Al Roker (Caption say Al Roker:Current weatherman,formerweather blimp)We even found a pretty Paula(cnnís Paula Zahn:Sheís a little bit sexy)And finally what judgeís panel is complete without a tough S.O.B.They have simon Cowell,we have bill Oíreilly(Bill OíReilly:Straight Shooter and Marking Fiend.Go on his website and buy his stuff-now)

JE: (John Edwards:Southern Charmer)Hey yíall I have a vision for America where everyone gets health care and everyone gets an education.

BOR:Thank you senader Kerry

JE:Actually Iím senader Edwards

BOR:Uh yeah sure you see with what everybody says how do we tell the difference I mean do you have anything for us at all here?

(Edwards pauses)

BOR: Paula you got anything for this guy?

PZ:No heís cute thatís all good enough

BOR: Paula Health care Paula.everybodyís for health care Iím for health care

PZ: Really?Kiss me

BOR:No.No.Germs.Here hereís a copy of my new book whoís looking out for you

PZ:Thank you

BOR:Yeah.Al you got anything for this guy?

AR:I liked everything he said,I mean,but of course Iím black so I have to vote demacradic because itís the law

JE:I promise if I become the next American political idol everyone in America will get Öa puppy

N:The competesion really heated up when an unanoced canidate took the stage

(Hilary Clinton enters)

BOR: Senater Clinton Iím really happy youíre here is it true mam that you want the demicrats to lose this year so you can be elected president in 2008

HC: Oh thatís crazy a conspericy of that level would require the mind of an evil genius

(Hilary Clinton:Evil genius(Hilaryís eyes glow red and she smiles eviliy))

BOR:Would you mind just answering a few more questions before you leave

HC:I donít have time I miss my husband(Laughs)

JK: (John Kerry: Democratic front runner and living corpse)I was a hero in a war I did things in a war that were heroic sometimes the droning of my voice doesnít stop until somebody slaps me on the back I

(Bill slaps John on the back)

JK:Thatís much better thank you bill reminds me of something I did to somebody one time when I was in the veitnam war and I was a war hero

AR:Oíreilly do something I canít take another one of his war stories

BOR:Senader Kerry how close are you to senader Kendey in politics

JK:Senader Kenadey and I go way back almost as way back as the veitnam war were I was a war hero I did something heroic during the war which gave me the title war hero

AR:We know we know

JK:But did you know that during the veitnam war(bill oíreilly is signing autographs)I did something heroic that is still talked about today by people such as myself

N:It looks like our judges are gonna have a hard time picking a new leader out of this pack of losers hey just for fun letís take another look at who theyíre running against

GB: (George Bush:Our elected leader)And thatís how I plan to stop nucler weapons Nu a hold on Nu nu nu cl er you know what I mean

BOR:Mr. President in this time of jury you eregulated the border by granting illegal atmistey does this fiddle around with the nationís sercurity by blate attept by you sir to get the latino vote?

GB:I like you OíReilly you donít let me get away with anything.You wanna play a round of golf?

BOR:No sir I do not, I want you to answer the question

GB:No paido that means I donít have to in Spanish, Iím the president El President

BOR:Well folks there you have it this country is in big trouble unless we can get some straight and honest answers from the rich and powerful until that time thereís only three things we can do,buy my books,watch the factor on t.v,and my chose for the American political idol isÖtake it away Clay.

CA: (Clay Aiken:Mommyís boy and millionaire)Hey hansome(singing)Oh beautiful for spacious skies for amber waves of gray,for purple mountains majesty above the fruited plainÖ.

(George Bush knocks clay off-stage)

GB:Iím a Ruben Studdard fan.

*Iím just gonna skip to the end of the show*

CA:America America God shed his face on the and crown the good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea(holds e note till end)


Tell me about any corrections I need

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Last edited by BlondieFan; 02/05/2005 at 1:35 PM.
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