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  #1  
Old 10/25/2004, 8:17 PM
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Viper Male Viper is offline
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Default Kenny Rogers Punk'd (#906)

Kenny Rogers Ė Will Sasso
Dex Ė Ike Barinholtz
Clay Aiken Ė Ron Pederson
Sean Willam Scott Ė Josh Meyers
Doris Roberts Ė Frank Caliendo
Punkíd crew - Bobby Lee



Cue Kenny Rogers Title Screen


Kenny: Hi Iím Kenny Rogers and welcome to Kenny Rogers Punkíd!
IT'S MY SHOW, MY IDEAS, I'M IN CONTROL!
Now hold on a second, I gotta ask myself somethiní
Hey Kenny are you thirsty?
Why, yeah Kenny I sure am

(guzzles bottle of Jack Daniels)
Burp
Yo now the first Celebrity weíre gonna Punk is my good friend Clay Aiken
Yo, ya shudda won Pimp.
But wonít he be surprised when my dog Dex gives him a special delivery
special delivery, of a Rhino turd.

(cut to the corridor of a hotel, Kenny communicates with Dex through an ear piece as kenny is in another room monitoring the punk'd)

Alright now Dex knock on the door and some how let Clay Aiken know youíre a delivery man.

Dex: ok Iíll try

Kenny: But, but, but, but, donít mention the rhino turd

(Dex knocks on door)

Clay: Yes

Dex: I have a delivery for Mr Aiken

Clay: Super, do you need me to sign something?

Kenny: HAHAHAHHAHA, now kiss his mouth
Dex: What?
Clay: Iím sorry did you say something?

Kenny: pull your weiner out!
Dex: Why donít I just give him the box with the rhino turd in it?
Kenny: HEY GO F*** YOURSELF DEX, IíM THE ONE WITH ALL THE IDEAS!


(Kenny guzzles some Jack Daniels and rolls his eye)
Kenny: oh Iíve gotta good one, call him the N word, hehehe

Dex: Iím not gonna do that, I, I donít even get it?

Iím sorry sir, but thereís been a mistake

Clay: Oh, ok, well have a sensational day
(Clay smiles and winks at Dex)

Kenny: WAY TO GO DIP SH** YOU RUINED MY PUNKíD!
(grabs bottle and runs out of the room,
running down the corridor)

YOU SON OF A MOTHER******
SON OF A BITCH!
WANT SOMETHINí DONE RIGHT, GOTTA DOOO IT YOURSELF!
(Kenny, steals and wears cap, pushes Dex to the ground)
knocks on door


Clay: Yes?
(Kenny just stands there,

and then unexpectedly kicks Clay Aiken in the balls)

Clay: oooAArrhh!



Kenny: YOU GOT PUNKíD CLAY AIKEN
THATíS WHAT WE DO!

(cut to black and white with Kenny celebrating his success in Punking Clay Aiken)

Oh, ha, ha, yo, how did he not know he was gonna get kicked in the balls
I mean itís so obvious, DUH!

Ok, ok, now next me and Dex are gonna Punk my main man Sean Stifler Scott



(cut to a restaurant where Sean is sat eating, Dex approaches him)

Dex: Hey are you Sean Willam Scott?

Sean: Yeah

Dex: uh, now what Kenny?

Kenny: (Peeing in the kitchen)
Give him the bottle

(Kenny Runs into the Restaurant with his weiner hanging out his pants.
He turns to Dex

Kenny: hold this

(Kenny grabs Seanís Spaghetti and puts it over his head to try and make a wig)
Oh Sean Stiffler Iím your long lost Momma and Iíve looking my whole life for ya.


Sean: Is this some lame attempt for you guys to try and Punk me?


(Kenny Smashes Sean over the head with the JDs bottle, then helps him up and brushes all the broken glass off him then kicks him in the balls)



Kenny: YEAH SEAN WILLIAM SCOTT THATíS HOW WE DO IT YOU GOT PUNKíD DIPSNITCH, MY SHOW; IíM A GENIUS, LOOK WHAT I DID!

(cuts back to black and white, with Kenny explaining his next Punk'd)

Finally Iím gonna Punk that sweet old lady from Everybody Loves Raymond,
Teen idol Doris Roberts.
I got some dudes to beat on her Lexus with bats, Baseball bats,
oh and Iíve put bear traps where she walks
Heh Heh Heh Heh, Heh, Heh

(cuts to outside the Everybody Loves Raymond Studio)

Dex: Hey Doris Roberts, we Love you Doris

Doris: Thanks Kiddo youíre sweet

OH NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THATíS MY NEW CAR!


(2 guys begin smashing the Lexus with their baseball bats,
(Doris runs towards the 2 assailants,


STOP PLEASE STOP!
(her foot lands right in one of the bear traps)

PLEASE STO OOH! IíM IN A BEAR TRAP!
OWWWWWW!

(Kenny bursts through the studio doors and runs over to Doris)

Kenny: Ha ha, ha ha, yhat was Awesome, Doris youíre so Punkíd!
Hey, I bet you wish you had that Emmy to help you pry open that bear trap
You shouldda seen the look on your face, AH HAHA HA!

Doris: (managing to struggle out of the trap)
YOU SON OF A BITCH!


(smacks Kenny in the face with a baseball bat, he spits his teeth out)

Kenny: AHHHHH! GOOD ONE DORIS, GREAT PUNKíD,
YOUíRE A NATURAL
HEY, WATCH THIS PUNKíD!

(guzzles some Jack Daniels and then jumps onto both bear traps.
He screams out load in excrutiating pain and nearly cries)


ooooooAAAAAHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHHA THATíS FUNNY!
KENNY ROGERS PUNKíD
ITíS MY IDEAS, MY SHOW, I CREATED IT,
ME, ME, ME, ME, MY, MY!

(Doris Kicks Kenny in the balls)

Cue Kenny Rogers Punkíd Title Screen



(Kenny walks away with the bear traps clasped onto his ankles)

__________________

Kenny Rogers CS2 CHAMPION: Want sumthin' done right, Gotta doooo it yourself!
Young People, be less picky about who you screw cause it all feels the same in the dark

Jasmine Wayne-Wayne: Je ne sais quoi = I am an Indian.
England?......Where's That? I miss the Money

WILL SASSO IS THE KING OF MADtv

Last edited by Viper; 01/03/2005 at 5:54 PM.
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  #2  
Old 10/25/2004, 8:31 PM
elscorcho Male elscorcho is offline
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somebody loves kenny rogers

so do i!
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  #3  
Old 10/25/2004, 8:39 PM
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Viper Male Viper is offline
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Posts: 1,400
Indeed I do

I shall try to type up the transcripts for:

Jackass 2
Kenny Rogers' Half Time Salute
The 1st Cooking with kenny and James

__________________

Kenny Rogers CS2 CHAMPION: Want sumthin' done right, Gotta doooo it yourself!
Young People, be less picky about who you screw cause it all feels the same in the dark

Jasmine Wayne-Wayne: Je ne sais quoi = I am an Indian.
England?......Where's That? I miss the Money

WILL SASSO IS THE KING OF MADtv

Last edited by Viper; 01/03/2005 at 6:04 PM.
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  #4  
Old 01/03/2005, 6:02 PM
Viper's Avatar
Viper Male Viper is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 1,400
Just to let everyone know I've revised this Sketch Transcript.

Also feel free to check out:

All 4 Paul Timberman Sketches

Celebrity Fear Factor

Real **********ing Talk: Healthcare in the Hood

and I should be finishing Kenny Rogers' Half Time Salute soon

__________________

Kenny Rogers CS2 CHAMPION: Want sumthin' done right, Gotta doooo it yourself!
Young People, be less picky about who you screw cause it all feels the same in the dark

Jasmine Wayne-Wayne: Je ne sais quoi = I am an Indian.
England?......Where's That? I miss the Money

WILL SASSO IS THE KING OF MADtv
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  #5  
Old 01/16/2005, 7:41 AM
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hellahellalala Female hellahellalala is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Australia
Posts: 541
I love all these Kenny Rogers transcripts! And The photos rock.

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Help keep the 7AM Condo Report in the MADtv Character Showdown

...So long and thanks for all the fish...

There's a tugboat, huh, huh, down by the river dontcha know
Where a cement bagís just a'drooppin' on down
Oh, that cement is just, it's there for the weight, dear
Five'll get ya ten old Mackyís back in town
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  #6  
Old 01/16/2005, 11:51 AM
Viper's Avatar
Viper Male Viper is offline
Where's My Money!?
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: UK
Posts: 1,400
I'm glad you like them, they're alot of fun to make

Kenny Rogers' Jackass 2 should be available to read soon

__________________

Kenny Rogers CS2 CHAMPION: Want sumthin' done right, Gotta doooo it yourself!
Young People, be less picky about who you screw cause it all feels the same in the dark

Jasmine Wayne-Wayne: Je ne sais quoi = I am an Indian.
England?......Where's That? I miss the Money

WILL SASSO IS THE KING OF MADtv
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