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Old 06/07/2004, 2:41 AM
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funny_guy Male funny_guy is offline
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,441
Default Spishak: Home Theater (#519)

Spishak Spokesman- Pat Kilbane
Husband- Michael McDonald
Wife- Debra Wilson
Son- Extra
Daughter- Extra

Spishak Spokesman: Hey typical American family how many times has this happened to you?

Husband: Come on everybody we'll be late for the movies.

Daughter: We're gonna miss the commercials.

Husband: And you know how those Meg Ryan films are, if you miss the first five minutes you're totally lost. Will she be cute in the pet shop? Will she be cute in the book store? I dont know...

Wife: (Looks at camera) Why does going to the movies have to be such an ordeal? I wish there was some way that you could bring the movies to us.

Husband: Who are you talking to? And why are your hands like this?

Spishak Spokesman: Well now there is. Its the Spishak Home Theater Experience.

(Sofa in house turns into movie theater seats)

Wife: Hey, wheres my sofa?

Spishak Spokesman: Now Spishak brings the complete cinema going experience right to your living room.

Wife: No, no really what happened to my sofa?

Spishak Spokesman: It begins with these actual theater seats. Seats from San Francisco's recently rated Adonis Theater.

(The family sits down on the seats)

Spishak Spokesman: Each system comes complete with authentic theater flooring.

Wife: Ew, its all sticky.

Husband: (Gets up from falling over and his arm is covered in green slime) Tell me about it.

Wife: This sure feels like the movies all right!

Spishak Spokesman: But it doesnt smell like the movies. Its Spishaks cine-roma authentic movie theater scent, simply remove the safety (starts spraying the authentic movie theater scent).

Wife: (Coughs) Oh my god! What the hell is that?!

(Shows ingredience on screen of the authentic movie scent which is: Rancid butter, B.O, stale urine, hot breath, old people smell, nacho fart, burnt hair and rose water)

Spishak Spokesman: Its cine-romas authentic movie theater scent. Authentic movie theater scent will permeate every nook and cranny of your home with authentic movie theater scent.

(Message on screen reads: CAUTION: Do not enter home during nineteen hour misting phase)

Spishak Spokesman: But wait its time for Spishaks home movie theater authentic refreshments.

(The family suddenly get a drink in their hands)

Spishak Spokesman: Drink up, when at the movies whats better than sipping on a cup of golden flavoured pop corn topping.

Husband: Ar god my arteries!

(A bunch of random people enter the living room and sit down in the seats)

Husband: Who are these people?

Spishak Spokesman: They're your Spishak home theater audience ambience.

Wife: What?

(A loud rumbling sound is heard)

Son: Mommy im scared!

Spishak Spokesman: No need to be, thats just the multi plex sound experience. Spishak installed speakers in the next room blasting mission to mars so you'll know that its playing in the next theater whether you like it or not.

Wife: Well i dont!

Spishak Spokesman: Behold! Spishaks authentic mutli plex screen.

(The curtains open and reveal its just a normal tv)

Spishak Spokesman: Now your Spishak home theater experience is complete.

Musical Interlude: A rainbow, a kitten (a kitten), a unicorn, a carnie (a carnie) by the system endorsed by the estate of Jim Varney, Spishaks Authentic Home Movie Theater Experience, girl.

-------"The real funny beneath the funny"-------

Last edited by funny_guy; 08/04/2004 at 1:55 AM.
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