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  #1  
Old 12/05/2004, 7:35 PM
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Default Radio Shack #1, #2, and #3 (#614)

Radio Shack #1

Christian Duguay- Howie Long
Mo- Teri Hatcher
Will Sasso- Narrator

(Scene opens to Howie sitting on the couch with his laptop and Teri comes into the scene)

Teri: Psst! Hey, Howie. Whatcha doin?

Howie: Trying out this new computer I got at Radio Shack.

Teri: Psst! Hey, Howie, what’s this sound? (Makes the noise of a busy signal)

Howie: Uh, a busy signal.

(Teri makes the noise again)

Howie: An in creditably annoying busy signal.

Teri: Like the kind you find with most internet providers?

Howie: Yeah, how do I get it to stop?

Teri: Psst! Hey, Howie, what’s this sound like? (Makes the noise like an alarm clock)

Howie: Uh, I don’t know, Teri, an alarm clock.

Teri: Like the kind you find at Radio Shack? Hey, Howie, what’s this sound like? (She makes a weird noise)

Howie: I don’t know, Teri, an out of work actress who lost her mind after Lois and Clark got canceled?

(Teri continues to jump around making that noise)

Howie: Doesn’t this all confuse you? I mean, were not really married.

Teri: Hey, Howie.

Howie: Don’t really know you, and quite frankly, I don’t even want to know you.

(Teri continues to jump around, being annoying)

Howie: Guys. (He waves for the medical team to come and get her)

Teri: Hey, Howie. Hey, Howie. Hey, Howie. (She makes weird noises while the medical people pick her up off the couch) Say bye-bye pretty lady.

Howie: Bye-bye pretty lady.

Teri: Bye-bye pretty, pretty lady.

Howie: Bye-bye. It’s all over.

Teri: Bye-bye pretty lady.

Howie: That’s better.

(Scene closes and shows the Radio Shack logo)

Narrator: Radio Shack. You’ve got questions, and we’re beginning to have them too.

(Sketch ends)

Radio Shack #2

Christian Duguay- Howie Long
Stephnie Weir- Farrah Fawcett
Will Sasso- Narrator

(Scene opens to Howie sitting on the couch listening to his stereo. Farrah comes into the scene)

Farrah: (Lifting up Howie’s headphones) Psst! Hey, Howie! Whatcha doin?

Howie: Trying out my new headphones I bought at Radio Shack. Teri, did you do something to your hair, or something?

Farrah: I’m not Teri, I’m Farrah Fawcett. They fired Teri because she was crazy. (She crosses her eyes and moves her fingers by her ears) This is so tight, I wanna take it off. (She starts to remove her dress)

Howie: Farrah, Farrah, no, Farrah. Farrah, no, Farrah! Don’t! Dolby Digital sound from Radio Shack.

Farrah: No! No, no, doctor, no! (She runs into the wall) (She begins jumping around) Look at me, I’m a sea horse. (She goes off stage and she runs into something) Ow!

Howie: You’re sure right, Farrah. Radio Shack has all your listening needs.

(Farrah comes back into the scene)

Farrah: Howie, the chickens are on fire and the ceiling is laughing at me! (She looks into the camera) Stop it! (She runs away from the camera)

Howie: For crying out loud, can we, can we get her some pills, or something? She smells like an outhouse.

(She hugs Howie from behind)

Howie: Are you…

Farrah: This feels good.

(Scene closes and shows the Radio Shack logo)

Narrator: Radio Shack. You’ve got questions, we’re still looking.

(Sketch ends)

Radio Shack #3

Christian Duguay- Howie Long
Debra Wilson- Whitney Houston
Aries Spears- Bobby Brown
Will Sasso- Narrator

(Scene opens to Howie sitting on the couch with his cell phone)

Whitney: (Off stage) Woo! Howie!

Howie: Yes, Whitney?

(Whitney enters)

Whitney: Woo! Where’d you get that cell phone? I know you got that cell phone at Radio House.

Howie: You mean shack?

Whitney: Yes, yes, yes. You got that from the Radio Hut. Let me ask you something, Howie. Do they sell glass pipes and screens at this, a, Radio Bong? I’m kinda needing something right now.

Howie: No, Whitney, but look at all the features this Radio Shack cell phone has.

Whitney: What’s it, what’s it got? What’s this thing for?

Howie: It’s got nine 1-button speed dial.

Whitney: Wait, wait, I just heard you say 911, so you gonna call the police on Whitney? Nobody, nobody calls the police on Whitney. Nobody!

Bobby: Whitney!

Whitney: Bobby, come here. This white man is gonna call the police on me. This white man, don’t call the police on me!

(Bobby comes in with his pants undone)

Bobby: Watcha doin’ here anyway? You ain’t supposed to be with him!

Whitney: I’m making money, that's what I'm doin!

Howie: This new Radio Shack cell phone…

(Howie tries to talk over Whitney and Bobby arguing)

Bobby: My cousin is in town, I got uncle Ray Ray in town, I got the breakfast meats, I got the sausage, I got the ham. Let me tell you something, I’ve boughten stuff yesterday, and what you…

Howie: (Interrupting them)Shut up! Just shut up! Shut up! Maybe we can do this just once!

Whitney: Fine.

Howie: With this Radio Shack cell phone, you can dial home

Whitney: (Talking while Howie is talking) Shut up, let him finish. Mind you business. Why are you talking so much, he said shut up.

Howie: Oh, screw it! (He leaves the stage)

Bobby: It’s $200, 200. $40 and a tape.

Whitney: Ok, that’s what you get. You ain’t getting. (She starts singing)

Bobby: Why are you always trying to out do me? Why are you always trying to out do me? (He takes off her wig) What are you gonna do?

Whitney: Give me back my wig! Give me my wig! You rat!

(They leave the stage and the scene closes)

Narrator: Radio Shack. We were better off without commercials.

(Sketch ends)

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Last edited by Princess PeachC; 12/06/2004 at 7:21 PM.
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  #2  
Old 12/05/2004, 7:49 PM
elscorcho Male elscorcho is offline
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damn, Cody, this transcript must have been hard to do! looks good!
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  #3  
Old 12/05/2004, 7:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by elscorcho
damn, Cody, this transcript must have been hard to do! looks good!
You have no idea...the first two were ok, but bobby and whitney arguing...i tried my best

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Old 12/06/2004, 10:34 AM
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good job cody!! i love those sketches!

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oh hey, this place is different

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  #5  
Old 12/06/2004, 6:54 PM
Caffeine King Male Caffeine King is offline
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Right after Bobby says "My cousin in town..." he says "I got Uncle Ray Ray in town..."

Then after Bobby says all that Whitney attempts to sing again and then says (what sounds like) "I'm trying to make money, that's what I'm doing!" (all I caught was "money....that's what I'm doing."
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