[MADtv] Anniversary Misunderstanding (#1311)

[funny_guy]

Jerry- Jordan Peele
Pam- Crista Flanagan
Alison Kent- Arden Myrin


Jerry: Pam!

Pam: Hi baby, Alex and Jimmy are asleep. Hows work?

Jerry: Ah forget about work, sit down. Ah here we go (takes an item out of a bag). Happy Anniversary!

Pam: Oh Jerry! Oh how did you afford this?

Jerry: I save my pennies. You like it?

Pam: Oh Jerry I love it. Now I have something for you too.

Jerry: Ok?

Pam: Now I know that since the kids were born our sex life has cooled down. So tonight on our anniversary I'm going to give you something you've been wanting for a long time and I know we can't afford it but I've been saving up too, so don't ask any questions just enjoy it. Alison.

(Alison walks into the room)

Alison: Happy anniversary Jerry.

Jerry: Pam?

Pam: Isn't she great? I want this night to be a night that you remember forever.

Jerry: Oh wow! Ah yeah o, no its great, ah wow I'm really gonna, I'm gonna love this. Ah yeah come here. Um, oh my god. Wow I've ah honey I've been dreaming about this for so long, alright um, alright well...

(Jerry goes in and kisses Alison)

Alison: Ah! What are you doing?

Pam: Jerry this is the babysitter!

Jerry: What?! Ah babysitter?

Pam: Yeah babysitter! I hired a sitter so you and I could go to a hotel tonight alone.

Jerry: Ah wo wow! Ah yeah, oh yeah my bad. Ok lets go.

Pam: Wo wo what did you think she was?

Jerry: What?! What? Na na nothing I don't, I don't know what you, lets go. Lets go.

Alison: He thought we were going to have a three way.

Pam: Is that what you thought?

Jerry: What?! Ah (laughs) you know what three way ew! No yes. Yes thats actually what I thought.

Pam: Your disgusting. Shes sixteen years old.

Jerry: Wha? That girl is not sixteen!

Pam: Yeah, this is Alison Kent from down the block and shes sixteen years old.

Jerry: Oh my god, Alison hi. Yeah wow, well your all grown up there. I ah thought you were a ah a hooker.

Alison: Ah I'm leaving!

Jerry: Ok its dark out there, let me drive ya.

Alison: Ew don't touch me! I'm gonna tell my father!

Jerry: No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Tell em I'll see him at the office. (Talking to Pam) I'm sorry.

Pam: This is what you've been dreaming about? A threesome with a sixteen year old?

Jerry: Honey there dreams. Crazy wild dreams, sinaps. Look you want me to have dreams don't ya?

Pam: Ah shes sixteen!

Jerry: Well look I already told ya I thought she was a prostitute!

Pam: A threesome with a prostitute is not much better!

Jerry: Ok hold on one second. Ok! Lets put the shoe on the other foot for a second here alright? Lets suppose that i brought home a male babysitter alright? You would, wouldn't you naturally assume that it was because I wanted to have sex with both of you?

Pam: No!

Jerry: Oh. (Takes out cell phone) Hey, yeah its Jerry, better not come over.

Pam: You disgusting pig, who is that?

Jerry: Yeah thats ah Drew from across the street.

Pam: What Drew?

Jerry: (Speaks in a husky voice) Drew...

Pam: (Tries to imitate) Drew. Well tell him to come over.

Jerry: I love you!

Pam: Oh tell him to bring his twin sister.

Jerry: Oh I really I love you! Come here baby!