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Old 06/05/2004, 1:30 PM
newt007's Avatar
newt007 Male newt007 is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Rensselaer, NY
Posts: 2,066
Default Antonia: Guard (#525)

Antonia- Nicole Sullivan
Antonia's hand (answering joke)- Antonia
Tourist Guide- Pat Kilbane
British Guard- extra

(Tourist Guide and Tourists walk up to a British guard who is guarding the palace)

Tourist Guide: As you can see, dignity is a very important part of being a palace guard. They're not allowed to talk, laugh or even smile. Just between you and me, I don't think they're allowed to use mouth wash either. Now, who's up for some authentic British boiled potatoes?

(All tourists raise hands)

Tourist Guide: Right this way (They all walk away)

(Note: The camera is now from the British Guards point of view)

Antonia: (comes into view) Hello. Can't laugh, huh? That's sad. Betchya I can make you laugh. It is possible. I'll make a funny face. (has a face that looks like she's about to sneeze)

(British Guard stays strict)

Antonia: (with a glass of water) Spit take! (sips water then spits it into guards face) ... I have a joke for you. Knock knock!

Antonia's hand: Who's there?

Antonia: Who's there who?

Antonia's hand: Who's there who who?

Antonia: Who's there who who who?

Antonia's hand: Who's there who who who who?

Antonia: Get it? It's an owl. Oh ... (pretends to be in a sail boat and rows her way across view) Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, OW, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow ... (on top of guard looking down)

(British Guard gasps)

Antonia: Scared Ya! ... (Antonia is in top hat and has a cane and dances across view cery fast and hyperly) ... (Walks up to Guard and uses hand to to pretend she's got his nose) Got your nose! (sad look) Oh well, I tried. So long! (walks away sad)

British Guard: (giggling) She's got my nose, ha!

Antonia: (comes back) Busted!!

(British Guard goes back to serious face) (Antonia walks out)

Download sketch here


Selena Luna = Best. Castmember. Ever.

Last edited by newt007; 12/22/2004 at 7:40 PM.
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Old 09/27/2004, 1:27 AM
Nicoles1fan34 Female Nicoles1fan34 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: portland Oregon
Posts: 15
very funny love that episode

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Old 01/13/2005, 7:42 PM
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ah-Mee Female ah-Mee is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 87
I think that this is My Fav. Antonia Skit or at least like in my top 3 hehe

Sally: Mama never realized her dreams. That's when I knew I had to follow mine and move to Iowa. Become an ice sculptor, get my Ph.D in orthology, finish that opera, and start a family

Hank: Where were you when your husband was killed?

Sally: That's not what you really wanna know...is it, Hank?

(sally uncrosses her legs and then crosses them again)

Sally: Well, aren't you gonna examine....the body?
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