[MADtv] Anna Nicole Commercial Countdown #3 (#821)

[Texas]

Anna Nicole Smith: Stephnie Weir


Bobby Trendy: Bobby Lee


Ryan Bud Blusutchie: Paul Vogt


-----------------------------------------------------------------

(Cut to the security monitor’s view of Anna Nicole entering the store)

(Anna points and waves at the screen happily)

Anna Nicole: Look, celebrities! Ms.Piggy’s here! HEY MS.PIGGY!



(Bobby Trendy is seen entering the store and Anna spots him on the camera)



Anna Nicole: Bobby Trendy!

(Anna turns and faces Bobby and then turns back toward the camera in obvious confusion)

Anna Nicole: Bobby Trendy… Uh…

Bobby: Im right here.

(Anna finally realizes that the REAL Bobby Trendy is actually behind her and starts to fight with him)



Anna Nicole: Bobby Trendy, what are you doin’ here?!

Bobby: What are you doing here?

Anna Nicole: I am V.I.P.! (Anna shoves him) You’re not supposed to be here!



Bobby: I need T.L.C.! (Bobby tries to hit her back, but Anna deflects his slap and smacks him again)



Anna Nicole: I am F.B.I.! (She reaches in for another hit)



(Anna turns and faces the camera)

Anna Nicole: He is not supposed to be here! (She turns toward Bobby again) I am mad at you! You are no longer allowed in my world!



(Bobby hits her while she is talking and she pops him back)



Anna Nicole: Ow!

(Two shrill whistle blows are heard from off camera as Bud comes running up)

Bud: Manager! Manager alert! Pretend you’re shopping! Pretend you’re shopping! We’re not supposed to have a party!

(Bobby and Anna shuffle over and grab shopping carts)



(Cut to Anna and Bud standing outside the V.I.P. area, a small and crudely roped off square in between two shelves)

(Bud checks his clipboard)

Bud: Alright, Anna Nicole Smith plus one. Here you go, enjoy our celebrity V.I.P. area. (He checks her name off on the clipboard and lets her in)

Anna Nicole: Thank you.

(Anna walks inside and starts to dance)

Anna Nicole: Woo!



(Bobby Trendy walks up to Bud)



Bobby: Hello, Im on the list.

Bud: Uh… Ok, your name…

Bobby: Bobby Trendy

(Bud checks the list, not finding his name)

Bud: Ooo… Im sorry…

Bobby: T-R-E-N-D-Y, Trendy.

Bud: Yeah, Im not seeing you on here-

Bobby: Im on the list big guy.



Bud: This is the celebrity V.I.P. area. V.I.P. area…

(Bobby grabs at the list and checks for his name)

Bud: See, your names not on here. See?

Anna Nicole: For celebrities!

(Bobby looks around to see if anyone is watching, then quickly knocks the list out of Bud’s hands when he turns away)



Bud: Oh!

(Bobby tries to get over the velvet rope and into the “V.I.P. area” but is shoved back by Anna)

Anna Nicole: No!

Bobby: What are you doing?! Anna, help me!



(Bud picks Bobby up and puts him in a shopping cart)

Bobby: Im on your show!

Anna Nicole: Haha!

Bobby: Security! Security! He’s manhandling me! Ow! Ah!

(Bud pushes the cart down the aisle while Bobby screams)



Bud: Leave the celebrities ALONE! (To Anna) Im so sorry.

(Cut to Anna standing next to a table topped with all sorts of vases and pots)

Anna Nicole: You guys voted, now let’s take a look at MADtv’s number two commercial parody. While I shop for a new house for Howard.



(Anna holds Howard’s urn toward the table, as if she is showing him some “new places to live”)



(She takes the top off of a vase)

Anna Nicole: Howard, you wanna live in this studio?



(She points to another vase)

Anna Nicole: Or a townhouse, look at that.



(She points to a vase shaped like a dancing woman)

Anna Nicole: Right here is a little lady dancing, you wanna live inside a lady Howard? Hmm? That’s sexy.



(Anna holds up a Capricorn and presses it to Howard’s urn)

Anna Nicole: Uh, a Capricorn.



(Anna holds a lighthouse-shaped vase up to the Howard’s urn)

Anna Nicole: Here’s a penis. You wanna live in a penis Howard?



FADE TO BLACK