[MADtv] Angela: Montel (#922)

[Pizzotty]

Angela: Montel (#922)

Stephnie Weir…………..Angela Wright
Paul Vogt……………….Natalie
Josh Meyers…………….Billy Wright
Jordan Peele…………….Montel Williams
Nicole Parker……………Joyce Cox

~Scene: Montel Studio~

(Montel caption appears on screen)

Montel: Welcome back. Today we’re celebrating hero’s, who are extraordinary people who risk their own lives to save others. Joining me today is Jill Fox. (Puts his hand on her leg)



Joyce: Joyce Cox.

Montel: Joyce Cox. Who was born without the use of her arms. (Puts his hand on her arm)

Joyce: Legs.

Montel: Legs. Now, also joining us is Angela, Billy, and Natalie. These three angels who have rescued Joyce from a burning car.



Joyce: It was a swimming pool. Ok. I fell into our swimming pool trying to rescue a stray dog.

Montel: Scary. Now kids, tell me what wha- wha- wha- wha- what made you stumble onto that backyard you know, on that afternoon?

Angela: Oh well, we were in the field across the street making crop circles.

Natalie: Yeah but it wasn’t working.

Billy: Which is when we heard our neighbor, Mrs. Cox, screaming for help.

Montel: The hero’s caught the whole dramatic rescue on video tape. Let’s watch. (Kneels down onto the floor)

**cuts to them outside**

Joyce: (in a pool holding a dog) Help! Help! Somebody help me. Help me!

Angela: You guys, hurry up. Someone is dying.

Billy: Well it’s hard to run with these things on our feet. (shows Billy wearing planks of wood on his feet)

Angela: Well then take them off stupid.

Natalie: Me too?

Angela: Yes Natalie. (runs over to Joyce) Are you ok?

Joyce: I’m in a wheelchair. I cant pull myself out.

Angela: Oh my God. Billy, do not miss a minute of this rescue. I see an all expense paid trip to the Oprah Winfrey show in our future.

Angela and Billy: Yayyyy!

Natalie: Hey Angela, look it’s a dog. Oh my gosh, I love dogs. Aww.

Angela: Get the dog out of the way. (Billy begins to film Natalie and the dog instead of the rescue)

(Joyce hands the dog to Natalie)

Natalie: Oh my gosh, it’s so cute. You look like my dog in Canada. My dog Meltrid. Is your name Meltrid too? You gonna give me some kisses? (Natalie starts to lick the dog)

Angela: Billy!!! Billy! Keep the camera over hear. I’m rescuing over hear. (tries to pull Joyce out of the pool) Ugh! What is wrong?

Joyce: It’s the wheel. It’s caught in my pant leg. I can’t move it.

Angela: Ok I’ll save you. I’m gonna dive in and unhook you. Oh my gosh this is so dramatic.

Billy: Hey wait I’ll do it. Let me do it.

Angela: No Billy!

Billy: Natalie. Come get the camera.

Angela: Don’t. Stop it!

Billy: Natalie, come hold the camera. Put the dog down and come…

Natalie: Ok. But what about the puppy?

Billy: Put the dog down now. (Natalie sets dog down)

Angela: Keep the camera on me.

Natalie: Ok I’ll get the camera. Ahhhh. (Natalie is now holding the camera)

Angela: No Billy let me rescue her, it was my idea.

Billy: (Billy starts taking off his shoes) But how are you doing to dive? You can’t even stand having your face wet.

Angela: I’ve been waiting for an emergency to put my face in the water. Billy don’t! (Billy and Angela start hitting each other)

Joyce: ‘Scuse me. Hello. I’ve been in here for hours.

Angela: Billy, stop. Don’t. Listen. You let me rescue her this time and then the next person we rescue, you can do it.

Billy: …Swear?

Angela: I swear.

Billy: Ok then. Go. Go.

Angela: Ok. (Angela puts her foot into the pool and then jumps back out) Ooh it’s cold. (Angela jumps into the pool and begins swimming towards Joyce)



Billy: Angela you need to dive.

Angela: I’m trying!

Joyce: Please hurry. (Angela tries diving but cant get under water)

Natalie: (hands Billy a pool net) Here, push her down with that.

Billy: Good idea.

Joyce: Maybe we should just call the police; the phone is right over there.

Natalie: Ok. (goes over to the phone and accidentally kicks it in the pool)

Billy: (uses the pool net and pushes Angela under the water) I cant tell what she’s saying, let me up or push harder? She’s not moving.



Natalie: You should let her up.

(Billy takes the pool net off of Angela and she floats back to the top like she’s dead)

Billy: Oh my God she’s floating. Angela!!! Angela!!!

Natalie: Oh my God! I think you killed her.

**cuts back to Angela, Billy, and Natalie on the Montel set**

Angela: Why did you think it would be a good idea to spear me like a fish? (Sarcastically) That was brilliant.

Natalie: You’re welcome.

Montel: Amazingly, the rescue doesn’t stop here. Billy.

Billy: Let’s get to the part where I jump in.

Montel: Alright let’s take a look at the clip. (Kneels to the floor)

**cuts to Billy floating in the pool**



Natalie: Oh my Gosh, Billy’s dead. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Hey hit his head on the side of the pool when he decided to do that flip. Why did he do a flip? Ga- ah- od.

Joyce: (holding on to Angela) Natalie. Natalie, put the camera down.

Natalie: Ok. Ok. (sets camera down and runs to Joyce)

Joyce: Can you jump in and get Billy?

Natalie: I’m not a very good swimmer. Do you have any floaties?

Joyce: Never mind. Just try to reach him.

Natalie: Ok. Ok.

Joyce: Be careful. (Natalie reaches for Billy) Don’t…don’t fall in.



(Natalie falls into the pool)

**cuts back to Angela, Billy, and Natalie on the Montel set**

Angela: Haha. Natalie.

Montel: That’s amazing. That’s amazing.

Billy: They edited out my flip.

Montel: Not a single one of you, for a single second, hesitated to save Mrs. Cox. That is true heroism.

Joyce: Oh come on. I ended up rescuing myself. How can you call that heroism?

Angela: A hero can be someone who teaches you something about yourself. And I think that we taught you that people with handicaps aren’t as helpless as they act.

Montel: We’re gonna end the show with that video’s dramatic conclusion. (Lies down on the floor)



**cuts to Joyce sitting on the edge of the pool pulling Angela, while Natalie is spitting water out of her mouth, and then pulling Billy out of the pool**



(Angela and Billy high five each other and then the Montel caption appears on screen in front of the American flag)



[Scene Fades]